[00:00:00] Kelsey Tolsma: They just really love the mission behind it. Right. I think that, I really try hard to show them community is so important and I feel like our world is kind of shifting away from that. And we really need community. We really need people around us to, you know, support and also to be. Us to be kind to them and to come alongside them.
[00:00:19] Kelsey Tolsma: And I think that it's just opened up a lot of opportunities to chat about that through flowers, right? Like it's something that is on their their mind.
[00:00:36] Deanna Kitchen: Hey friend. Welcome to the Growing Kindness podcast. I'm your host Deanna Kitchen founder of the Growing Kindness Movement. This is a place where we grow together, learning to root our lives and kindness connect. And community. If you've ever wished the world felt a little softer, a little more neighborly, or if you're craving stories that remind you that goodness still grows, you're in the right place.
[00:00:57] Deanna Kitchen: Together with our guests, we'll share stories of generosity and community proof that even the smallest acts of kindness from growing and giving kept flowers to everyday acts of care can change lives and connect us in powerful ways. I'm so glad you're here. Let's get started.
[00:01:21] Deanna Kitchen: I am so excited to get to introduce you to today's guests, not one, but two guests today. Kelsey Toma is joining us. Um, she is a ambassador with the Growing Kindness Project, and she is here today with her daughter, Brecklin, Kelsey, and Brecklin, we are just thrilled to have you here as guests on the podcast.
[00:01:40] Deanna Kitchen: Thanks so much for having us. We're excited to be here. Well, Kelsey, let's jump right in. I would love to ask you if you would just start by sharing a little bit about your family, the corner of the world that you call home, and what home looks like for you guys.
[00:01:55] Kelsey Tolsma: Yeah, sure. So I am a mama to three daughters.
[00:02:00] Kelsey Tolsma: They are age 12, 10, and six, and married to my husband Erin for 15 years this year, which is crazy. Um, we live in Linden up here, very corner of Washington State, and we are a homeschool family, so we have a seventh, a fifth, and a first grader this year. And it's been so fun to be able to do that with my girls, um, and learn together.
[00:02:23] Kelsey Tolsma: And yeah, that's, that's us. We're busy.
[00:02:27] Deanna Kitchen: Beautiful. Be oh, so, so busy. I know, I know. Any mama, grandma, auntie, who's familiar with the rhythms of life with kiddos at that age knows exactly how busy and full the days are. So how did Flowers and eventually the growing kindness movement, first find their way to your family?
[00:02:46] Kelsey Tolsma: Yeah, I was thinking about this before we started. 'cause it's been, I was looking back at pictures and I think it's been about five years we've been. We've known you and been a part of growing kindness, which is crazy. It feels like just yesterday that we started. But I have a daughter, my oldest daughter, Kinley, and I asked her permission to share this, but she, um, has dyslexia really bad and so she has always struggled with school, but she really loves flowers and she's very creative and very good at arranging.
[00:03:14] Kelsey Tolsma: And we found you guys through actually triple run farms. Dahlia. We are, we raised dahlias or we grow dahlias. So found you through there and connected and we did a bunch of the holiday cheer campaigns. I, I know you should call it something different now, but holiday cheer challenge. Holiday cheer challenge.
[00:03:29] Kelsey Tolsma: Same. And we got involved when she was, I think she was probably around six when we started doing that. And she loved it. And she still loves flowers. She still says she's gonna be a florist someday. So that's how we found you guys through that and just, and wanting to encourage her in a way that.
[00:03:45] Kelsey Tolsma: Creativity could just flourish and yeah, it's been fun.
[00:03:50] Deanna Kitchen: I love that this is a part of her story and I love that it's been an inspiration and a resource to her that is just so thrilling to get to hear. So what does that look like for you and, um, for Kinley as a family, kind of in your. Everyday, you know, life and busyness as a family, what does that look like as you're growing and giving flowers together?
[00:04:15] Kelsey Tolsma: Yeah, so for a couple years we had a huge field of dahlias. We've kind of scaled back some, but still growing flowers at our home during the summer, she loves to just go out into the garden and pick bouquets and wherever we're going, she'll bring up bouquet. And the other day we went to. The, I think it was the post office actually, she brought, she had just made a bouquet and she brought it, and the person there was like, just flabbergasted, like, you're giving me these flowers, like, that's so special.
[00:04:43] Kelsey Tolsma: So just every day, like if we are leaving the house, a lot of times during the summer she'll go out there and just make a b beautiful bouquet and take it with, and see who she runs into to give it to. So that's been really special for her.
[00:04:54] Deanna Kitchen: I, I'm just trying to picture what that experience is like both for.
[00:04:58] Deanna Kitchen: The receiver, not only there's something so special and powerful of receiving unexpected kindness, but then receiving it from a child's hands, what that experience is like for them. But I'm also picturing what that's like for Kinley and her experience and getting to engage in those moments. How beautiful that must be.
[00:05:17] Deanna Kitchen: Yeah. For her as well. How do you see this changing Kinley?
[00:05:21] Brecklin: Mm.
[00:05:22] Deanna Kitchen: Um, just this act of, of giving not only the act of going out in the garden and creating with purpose, but the act of giving.
[00:05:29] Kelsey Tolsma: Yeah. I think she's more intentional and in like, being kind. Right. Like it, it. Teaches you, like, once you give a bouquet, you see the joy it brings to somebody.
[00:05:40] Kelsey Tolsma: And so you wanna do more of that because it, it makes, not only does it make you feel good and you're, you know, it fills your heart with joy as well, but like, just she's being more thoughtful I guess, in. And that she's already a very kind and tender hearted girl, but it's just been fun for her to have an outlet, I guess, even of, of being kind.
[00:06:00] Kelsey Tolsma: Right. And Kinley is oldest in your, she is the oldest in
[00:06:03] Deanna Kitchen: my family. Yep. We have, I think we have stairs, step kids. We do in our families. Mine and yours. Like you're just, you're oldest is the age of mine, so it's fun to, it's been such a joy for me. Don't get to watch your girls growing up. Mm-hmm. So as the oldest in the family, do you think that has an influence?
[00:06:20] Deanna Kitchen: On her siblings and your family dynamic, watching Kinley kind of take hold of this the way she has? I think so.
[00:06:25] Kelsey Tolsma: Yeah. She's a really good example to my other two. My other two also love to go out there with her and you know, my, I, especially my youngest, she'll go out there now with her and Kinley is, you know, teaching her and showing her and she's excited to give flowers as well.
[00:06:39] Kelsey Tolsma: So yeah, Kinley ISS influence is definitely affecting her sisters. So.
[00:06:43] Deanna Kitchen: So not only are you growing flowers in the summer and giving with your girls one of the, um, parts of our story together, how I've gotten to know your family is you've brought your girls into the holiday cheer challenge every year, and I've had the absolute joy and delight as we posted in person events for holiday cheer over the years here locally to get to work alongside of your girls.
[00:07:07] Deanna Kitchen: And it is truly inspiring and uplifting to get to see their joy and their enthusiasm as they're building arrangements to give to others in the dark, cold days of winter. But you've took this one step farther even. Not only have you joined in, um, these local events that we've hosted as an organization, but you took this one step farther and brought this into a group of you in your community.
[00:07:35] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm. Can you share with us. How that started and what that looked like.
[00:07:39] Kelsey Tolsma: Yes. So it had become a holiday tradition for us. And so when it switched to that, I was like, we still have to do something. Like we have to, we can do this like buy, you know, with a group of people. So my sister would graciously let us use her shop and we went out and gathered greens and Deanna, you actually came to the event and brought greens and all of the little containers and we gathered all of our friends and.
[00:08:02] Kelsey Tolsma: Even just acquaintances. I put it out there and said, whoever wants to come can come. Um, and we did it on our own and it was so fun and it was so memorable and the kids just loved it. It was something that we will continue for years to come. So
[00:08:17] Deanna Kitchen: I love that you took the initiative to just say, Hey. What if we did this together?
[00:08:21] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm. There's such a joy in that. Really that's the heart of growing kindness is like how do we bring people together? And the giving, um, of the flowers or the evergreen arrangements or whatever it is, is one really sweet way to bring people together. But I love this other component of when we link arms and we make and give together, it's just a completely different added sweetness to the mix.
[00:08:44] Deanna Kitchen: So, remind me, it ended up being a fairly big group, if I remember right.
[00:08:50] Kelsey Tolsma: Yeah, I think it was around 40. Well probably, yeah, 30 kids and then their mom's family members. So we made a lot of arrangements and we, so yeah, we took those and we put them, um, together and brought them to a local long-term care, um, center here in our town.
[00:09:07] Kelsey Tolsma: And that was just a huge blessing. It was so fun. The kids were so excited to get to walk through the doors and present them to, you know, it was just the front desk at that time, just 'cause um, that's how it worked out. They were so thrilled. The people that were working there were so thrilled to be able to get to share these with, you know, their residents.
[00:09:25] Kelsey Tolsma: So. And the kids. It was so good for them too. They were so excited to be like, we made this for you. We thought of you and made this
[00:09:32] Deanna Kitchen: so, oh my goodness. It's absolutely beautiful what can happen when we just plant these little seeds, especially in our children's and young people's lives, right? Mm-hmm. After your girls came alongside you and this event to make and give in this way.
[00:09:48] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm. Did it open up conversations in your home about what kindness looks like or what giving looks like? What did the girls have to say about how. They felt about it.
[00:09:58] Brecklin: Mm-hmm.
[00:09:59] Kelsey Tolsma: We actually, we talk about you and growing kindness a lot at our house just because it's become, it's part of their lives.
[00:10:04] Kelsey Tolsma: They've always, you know, since they were tiny, really, they've been my littlest for almost their whole life. So they adore you. They just really love the mission behind it. Right. I think that. I really try hard to show them community is so important and I feel like our world is kind of shifting away from that.
[00:10:21] Kelsey Tolsma: And we really need community. We really need people around us to, you know, support and also to be us, to be kind to them and to come alongside them. And I think that has just opened up a lot of opportunities to chat about that through flowers, right? Like it's something that is on their, their minds and their forefront of their minds.
[00:10:40] Kelsey Tolsma: And. It's been an opportunity to put that little seed in their heart of kindness. Like obviously we're always looking for ways to be kind, but yeah, it's just, it's given us like a built in opportunity. Right.
[00:10:52] Deanna Kitchen: Brecklin,
[00:10:53] Kelsey Tolsma: oh my
[00:10:53] Deanna Kitchen: goodness. What an absolute delight for me to get to visit with you here today.
[00:10:58] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm. I am just so excited to have you on the podcast along with us. So Brelyn, do you want to introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about you, how old you are?
[00:11:09] Brecklin: Sure. I'm Brelin. I'm 10 years old. I'm in fifth grade, so yeah.
[00:11:14] Deanna Kitchen: Excellent, excellent. Brelin, I would love to know what's your favorite thing about getting to grow flowers at home?
[00:11:21] Brecklin: Being out there and, yeah. Being
[00:11:23] Deanna Kitchen: outside.
[00:11:24] Brecklin: Mm-hmm. Being outside.
[00:11:26] Deanna Kitchen: Yeah, being outside, getting to enjoy the blooms, it's all so good, isn't it? Mm-hmm. I know that your family grows a lot of dahlias, but I think you grow some other flowers too, right? Yes. Yes. What's your favorite flower? To grow and give people. I
[00:11:41] Brecklin: really like the tulips that we grow
[00:11:43] Deanna Kitchen: tulips.
[00:11:44] Deanna Kitchen: Awesome. Do you have a variety that's your very favorite?
[00:11:47] Brecklin: Mm, not really. I just,
[00:11:48] Deanna Kitchen: it's kind of hard to remember the names of 'em, isn't it? Yeah. Color is your favorite? Just any tulip.
[00:11:51] Brecklin: Red. You like the red ones? Mm-hmm.
[00:11:53] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm. Red sos. So you give, you share tulips in your community in the spring?
[00:11:58] Brecklin: Mm-hmm.
[00:11:58] Deanna Kitchen: We do.
[00:11:59] Deanna Kitchen: Yes. Kinley, you've got to go along with your mom as you've delivered flowers in your community in different ways. Mm-hmm. I would love to know, how does that make you feel when you get to give flowers to other people? As, as a gift
[00:12:15] Brecklin: just makes me feel happy. Mm-hmm. For them, and yeah, that I get to do that.
[00:12:19] Deanna Kitchen: I love that experience.
[00:12:20] Deanna Kitchen: How do they usually respond?
[00:12:21] Brecklin: They're just really happy and. Mm. Makes their day. It does. Mm-hmm.
[00:12:26] Deanna Kitchen: It's pretty special to be able to make somebody's day like brighten up that way, isn't it? Mm-hmm. I would love to know, how did it feel for you when you got to get to be together with your friends and all together?
[00:12:38] Deanna Kitchen: You worked on making the holiday cheer, evergreen bouquets. What was that like?
[00:12:42] Brecklin: It was just fun 'cause. They all liked it as much as we do. So yeah, it was fun to get to do it with them.
[00:12:49] Kelsey Tolsma: It's something that you really enjoy, right? Mm-hmm. So to be able to get to share that with your friends mm-hmm. And then have them excited about it.
[00:12:55] Kelsey Tolsma: Yes. That was fun, huh? Mm-hmm.
[00:12:57] Deanna Kitchen: Did any of your friends decide they wanted to make and give flowers after they did that together with you? Some of them. Did they keep going? Yes. So then you help them be able to grow and, and keep giving flowers in the summertime. Yes. Brooklyn. What a beautiful ripple of kindness.
[00:13:14] Deanna Kitchen: It's just, you can picture, you know, when we drop a, a pebble in a pond, how those ripples go out and they just keep going and going. You sent out a lot of ripples in kindness. Did. In your community and doing that. I'm really proud of you for that. Well, Brecklin, one thing I would love to know is, do you think you'll keep giving flowers to people as you get older?
[00:13:34] Deanna Kitchen: Do you think that will be something you'll keep doing? Yes, I think probably will. Yes.
[00:13:38] Brecklin: Mm-hmm.
[00:13:39] Deanna Kitchen: Have your own garden maybe someday. Yes. Once you get started with it, it's hard not to be able to have that tool available. Yeah. To be able to just go out and grab flowers and give them to someone. It's pretty special.
[00:13:52] Deanna Kitchen: Yes. It's well Brecklin, thank you so much. What a brave. And generous thing to do to step in and be here as a guest on the podcast today. I'm really grateful for you and I'm really proud of you in the ways that you are stepping up and leading and influencing kindness in your community. Kelsey, what an honor to get to hear from Brecklin directly about this.
[00:14:19] Deanna Kitchen: And you want to talk about influencers. This gives me a lump in my throat, but like what a beautiful thing, the influence that you are having. On your girls' lives. Mm-hmm. Um, and planting the seeds of kindness that you're giving them, that they are going to carry with them.
[00:14:36] Brecklin: Hmm.
[00:14:37] Deanna Kitchen: As, as a mom, what do you hope that they will carry with them into adulthood because of this experience together of.
[00:14:46] Deanna Kitchen: Growing and giving flowers in kindness.
[00:14:48] Kelsey Tolsma: Right. I think the biggest thing I think of this often is just that they see other people for like who they are and where they're at, and just, just see beyond themselves to to be kind in in every situation, and yeah, to serve others with a heart of joyfulness and just.
[00:15:07] Kelsey Tolsma: Yeah. Of kindness. Right. I know I keep saying kindness, but really I hope that they just look around them and look at the people in front of them and are just, are kind and come alongside them. And not just giving flowers, but in every other, you know, in every way.
[00:15:21] Deanna Kitchen: So Kelsey, I think that you are planting seeds that are gonna grow into something so, so beautiful and like that the pebbles in upon like the ripples.
[00:15:31] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm. Of what you're investing in, in your girls and introducing them to ways that they can mm-hmm. Um, be empowered and they can take action in their community. Like those are gonna keep. Going out as we already are seeing in Breck Lynn's life, like that's that circle of influence just keeps moving out and through the world.
[00:15:48] Deanna Kitchen: So thank you for the beautiful work that you are doing in bringing your sweet girls alongside of you as you grow and give flowers and your community. It's truly. Encouraging to witness.
[00:16:00] Kelsey Tolsma: I'm really grateful that I get to do it.
[00:16:01] Deanna Kitchen: What an honor to get to hear more of your story and get to hear from Brecklin today.
[00:16:06] Deanna Kitchen: Thank you so much for being here. Truly every seed of kindness that we plant goes farther than we could ever know. One of the questions that I love to ask our guests as we're closing, um, that I think reminds us all of the power and beauty of even the smallest acts of kindness is what is one kind thing.
[00:16:26] Deanna Kitchen: That someone once did for you that you still carry with you in your heart today?
[00:16:30] Kelsey Tolsma: Hmm. I was thinking about this too. I. Have. So my papa was the kindest guy that I have ever met. He's passed on, um, now, but he was literally, every time we would come here when I was a little girl to his house, he would go into his garden and he would pick a rose and he would cut off every single one of the thorns with his.
[00:16:50] Kelsey Tolsma: So then he would hand it to us without thorns, and it was without fail. If it was lilac season, he was picking lilac. If it was roses, it was roses, but. Without fail, he always would give us a flower. And I think that's where my love of flowers came from. We live in his house now where he, him and my nana lived for 40 years.
[00:17:07] Kelsey Tolsma: Um, and so I have all of his roses still in the garden, so I think of him often, but that was something that really stuck with me of just the intentionality of like making sure we knew that he loved us
[00:17:18] Deanna Kitchen: and, and it's so obvious that those seeds were planted in your life and they're continuing. To flourish and thrive just like those rose bushes and li looks like that kindness is carrying on through you and through your life and through your girls, and that is, that is a beautiful thing.
[00:17:41] Deanna Kitchen: Thank you so much for listening to the Growing Kindness podcast. It means the world that you take the time to be here every time you show up, every time you listen in, community grows. If today's episode encouraged you, there are a few simple ways to keep growing kindness with us. First, you can join the team.
[00:17:56] Deanna Kitchen: When you become a growing kindness gardener, you link arms with like-minded like-hearted people from all around the world who believe that small acts of kindness really do make a big difference. As a gardener, you'll receive access to resources, inspiration, and connection to help you grow and give flowers as acts of kindness in your corner of the world.
[00:18:14] Deanna Kitchen: It's free you to join. Another way to get involved is to become a donor. This podcast is made possible by the generous. Of our donors, kindhearted people who believe just like you, that stories of goodness are worth sharing. If you'd like to help us share more stories, just like today's visit growing kindness project.org/donate to make a gift and keep kindness blooming, we'd love to stay connected with you.
[00:18:36] Deanna Kitchen: You can sign up for our newsletter or find us on Instagram at Growing Kindness Project. We'd love to keep in touch and cheer you on as you grow kindness in your community. And finally. If this episode touched your heart, would you share it with a friend? It's one of the simplest ways to spread kindness today.
[00:18:52] Deanna Kitchen: I'm so grateful you're here. Until next time, keep growing kindness. One bloom at a time.
