[00:00:00] Deanna Kitchen: Welcome back to the show. Friends, we are so glad you're here with us. I think there's something so beautiful about taking time to get to hear somebody's story, even showing up with us today, in this, you are helping to spread kindness. Thank you for being here. I'm honored to get to introduce you to today's guest, Robbie Bennett.
[00:00:16] Deanna Kitchen: A long-time growing kindness team member, Robbie Hales. From California, and has been a part of our project since the very beginning days. Robbie, if you could just tell us a little bit more about yourself and the corner of the world where you're growing kindness.
[00:00:29] Robbie: I live in Long Beach and I live on a half acre of. land, which is a lot of land, I guess, for long Beach. I am a widow. I have three grown children and five grandchildren, who I absolutely adore and I love growing flowers. I love my community. I love God. And that's about it.
[00:00:50] Deanna Kitchen: That's beautiful. Robbie. I'd love to go back in your story just a little bit. Can you share with us a little bit more about the last years of your life? How many years ago was it that you lost your husband?
[00:01:02] Robbie: It's about six years ago. It was in 2019. was sick or he had, he got cancer. And so for four years, we had that journey of lots of therapies. sorted as a caregiver sometimes. He was good and he was working and, then it would come back. And then the last year it was really, it was just about him and just about going to the hospital, oh, chemotherapy.
[00:01:27] Robbie: And I would take him to the hospital, and he would have different episodes and we'd be back and forth. And actually the crazy part of that was. he was a real career guy where he was very, he had his own business and so he, I didn't see him very much because he was just very, an avid businessman So the last several years of his life, we spent a lot of time together and I actually liked it. But then when he died, I was sort of lost because I had put my whole life around taking care of him and to being the good wife and being a good mother and taking care of the household and then boom.
[00:02:08] Robbie: I am felt like I didn't have a career anymore. I didn't have anything to was my purpose.
[00:02:13] Deanna Kitchen: Yeah. How long were you married before?
[00:02:16] Robbie: Uh, 37 years.
[00:02:17] Deanna Kitchen: Wow. So your life was so woven together with his and into being, your role as a wife and a mother. Can you tell us a little bit more about that season for you after, how did you cope? What helped you get through?
[00:02:32] Robbie: What really helped, I guess, was just being around people.
[00:02:35] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm.
[00:02:35] Robbie: A lot and lots and lots of people and really growing kindness was such a impactful place for me because my garden, which I've always was the love of my existence, was being in my garden and growing flowers from seeds and I
[00:02:50] Robbie: always had this incredible garden. In fact, when we bought this house, we had We, it was a bidding war. Everybody, it was a bidding war. And so the gal asked. My husband, he was, I was at another place with or at my other house with the two kids, and he came to buy the house all by himself.
[00:03:11] Robbie: she said, well, what are you gonna do with the house? And she says, well, my wife is an avid gardener and so she's gonna just be in your garden. And we have two little girls that we wanna raise in this neighborhood. And so, so.
[00:03:24] Deanna Kitchen: Oh,
[00:03:25] Robbie: even took the lower offer because she knew that I was gonna take care of her garden.
[00:03:30] Robbie: She had a whole huge cutting garden, just a cutting garden that now, then my husband turned it into a garage
[00:03:39] Deanna Kitchen: so you had to start from scratches somewhere else in the property. So during that time, it sounds like. Being in your garden was a real anchor for you in that season of loss and learning a new life. Just being out and growing and giving things. That's was seems, sounds like it was a real help to you.
[00:03:57] Robbie: Oh yeah. when he was doing his chemo I would always cut flowers for the nurses, for other patients in the chemo room. Growing kindness wasn't foreign to me. It was already something I was doing. It's just that it changed.
[00:04:12] Deanna Kitchen: Yeah, absolutely. I would love to hear more about those years following his loss and as you navigated this new life and finding the things that help you to. Grieve and the things that help you to find more of who you were in that process. Something that you shared with me as a part of your story was, it was in that time that you came across our organization and joined our movement.
[00:04:39] Deanna Kitchen: But I'd love to hear how did you find our community and what were your thoughts initially when you first crossed paths with it?
[00:04:47] Robbie: Instagram.
[00:04:48] Deanna Kitchen: Okay.
[00:04:49] Robbie: That's when you were part of Twig and Vine, and I just love to see your little boys. They were little back then. And then there were different people on the internet that are part of I'm trying to think. I can't remember which ones they were, but well, I do remember, I just can't come up with the right words.
[00:05:03] Robbie: They moved me towards you. So then I started following the growing kindness and I started following Twig and Vine. You had a I think it was the December pull together, something that you had,
[00:05:14] Deanna Kitchen: holiday cheer?
[00:05:15] Robbie: holiday cheer Yes. That and your whole team. And I thought, ah, I wanna be a part of a group like that. And it was only for locals at that time. So then I reached out in , the following year, but I had just missed the applications for the ambassadors. So I became a gardener and I just followed you on Instagram.
[00:05:36] Robbie: I didn't give flowers yet. And then I remember when I got accepted to be an ambassador it was so thrilling. I have a video of me out in my garden when I got my package, with the dahlias and the cutters and the welcome to the Growing Kindness Project, and I felt welcomed.
[00:05:56] Robbie: And I made a little video in my backyard showing where and I grew. I then planted, I think 40 dahlias and I just got to work on my garden, which was. Just really nice and it gave me a purpose, I wasn't just sleeping in because I was so sad. I was getting up and getting going and, planning and doing all the things that I needed.
[00:06:21] Robbie: And then I had a event that happened that a very serious event right in the beginning. So in April, I think it was when I became a growing and kindness ambassador. And then June 6th I had a massive brain aneurysm and put me in the hospital for, in the ICU for three weeks and then the regular hospital for a week and then three months of rehab.
[00:06:47] Robbie: And, People rallied around me during that time ' cause they just knew how much the growing kindness project meant to me. They saw the difference in my spirit. They saw just this enthusiasm, like my love came back to me kind of thing. I just wasn't as sad and cause I felt like, okay, this is my new life and I'm good with this.
[00:07:07] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm.
[00:07:08] Robbie: So, my first giveaway of flowers was. As a growing kindness ambassador, I couldn't drive and I always had caregivers and they would take me to my different therapies and things at hospitals. And this particular time was for an MRI. At a hospital and my driver helped me pick some flowers that we put together.
[00:07:30] Robbie: I think they were pretty simple, I did have a couple of dahlias that had bloomed. They waited for me. And other people really came around and helped me to take care of the dahlias. It was wonderful, but they bloomed and they were beautiful. You know how showy dahlias are and you can just put one in a jar and it's like, woo hoo.
[00:07:48] Robbie: So we were at this hospital and I gave him away. As I walked through the hospital, I think I had, four or five and. I would give 'em to the clerk that checked you in or the registration. And so I was down to one jar left and I was in the waiting room waiting and it's packed with people and you don't know really what stage of life or what's going on.
[00:08:09] Robbie: It's a hospital. I think I'm gonna give it to my technician for my MRI so I thought, Ugh, this is not gonna work. So I just kept him with me and about an hour and a half later, I came back through that same waiting area and there was only one person left there. And so I thought, I got a little in my head, said, give the flowers to her. So I did. I gave them to her. I said, these are for you. And she says, no. What? Huh? I said, yeah i'm part of an organization. We grow flowers to give away, to promote kindness. And today's your day to get some kindness. And she said, you're an angel.
[00:08:43] Deanna Kitchen: Hmm.
[00:08:44] Robbie: no idea.
[00:08:45] Robbie: And she started to cry How much I needed this today. that was my first giveaway.
[00:08:51] Deanna Kitchen: Maybe that technician was more, that your heart was just waiting for the next person. Not so much who it was the technician was, but that there was this other person who really needed it. I had goosebumps when you're sharing her response. And I think that that it is such a beautiful thing that we get to experience over and over again when we share kindness that the response is just sometimes to hear people say, you don't know how much I needed this today I think is actually a more common experience than we can , even know sometimes.
[00:09:19] Deanna Kitchen: I'd love to know what were the other responses in that as you were going through the hospital that very first time giving flowers, what were people saying? How are they responding to that?
[00:09:28] Robbie: They always respond with, really me. You sure? I've given away hundreds of flowers and I always have the same response. You Sure? Of course. Yeah. I am. And I love the fact that we have the tag, because the tag then gives it clarity and intentionality. Whereas before I used to give flowers away there was a reason for me giving the flowers, it wasn't just random. It was, oh, it's to my doctor or to the grocery clerk, the post office person. But when they got the tag, then it had more of a impact on their life because then it said, oh, this was intentional and it was intentional for me.
[00:10:10] Robbie: This gift is for me, and then they give it to someone else.
[00:10:14] Deanna Kitchen: It's so beautiful to see what happens when we just simply clarify that we're moving with only the motive of kindness. And I think we often bump into people like when you people say, are you sure? Because they're, we are so unaccustomed to. Unexpected kindness just for the sake of kindness in our world today.
[00:10:35] Deanna Kitchen: And I think that's why the way that you are moving in your community is so powerful and so important because the rarer kindness becomes the more valuable and important it is. And I think it's so important that's continuing to ripple out in your community. So Robbie, I'd love to know how did you feel?
[00:10:52] Deanna Kitchen: What were you thinking and feeling in those moments as you, you handed out those first bouquets?
[00:10:57] Robbie: Oh, it's thrilling When you're ill, you are a taker.
[00:11:00] Deanna Kitchen: Hmm.
[00:11:01] Robbie: I had so many people giving to me. People were helping me in my garden. People brought food over to the house. I had all these people that were ministering to me. And so I got to be a giver. it's the best.
[00:11:15] Robbie: It really is the best.
[00:11:16] Deanna Kitchen: It really is, isn't it? It almost is hard to put words to the way it makes us feel when we. Just do something in kindness for someone with no expectation of a return. like you said, it's hard to even fully explain, except that it's just the most incredible, thrilling feeling.
[00:11:32] Deanna Kitchen: And I love that in that season as you were, your heart was healing and your body was healing, you were able to be the receiver of that kind of joy and that feeling. In return. And that's, I think it's such a beautiful picture of the way that kindness works.
[00:11:49] Robbie: Oh, it's true. I'll give you another story. I was in Trader Joe's, which is our local. Grocery store. I don't know where they are in the country, but I had a bouquet of flowers, they were in my cart while I was grocery shopping. And then when I got up to the clerk, she was, I.
[00:12:03] Robbie: Ringing up my groceries. It was late in the afternoon. You had lots of people in line. You had moms with busy kids. And so it was a busy time to be in the grocery store. And she got to the flowers and she goes, they just don't have a tag on 'em. Where did you get 'em? And I said, oh, they're not part of your store.
[00:12:21] Robbie: They're for you. She goes, no. I go, yes, those are for you. And then I'm cognizant of the fact that there is a long line and I don't have time to expound upon growing kindness and whatever I just said. The tag tells you everything you need to know, and there for you, they're groan for you. And she took 'em to her chest and she just said, thank you. I then scurry along and I'm feeling like badly that I've taken time away from the line
[00:12:48] Robbie: and I scurry to my car and I throw up my trunk, and I get a tap on my shoulder and I look, oh, and he goes, you were the one that just gave the flowers to that lady and or the clerk, right? And I go, yeah. He said, I just, I had to come and tell you what it did. I have to tell you that she was completely touched by your kindness, and the rest of us in line were touched by your kindness. And I said, well, it's not really me, but, and thank you for being so kind to tell me. And it was like he had given me a gift. he went to the trouble to find me and a stranger tapping up.
[00:13:32] Robbie: This is right after the pandemic. People don't touch each other.
[00:13:36] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm.
[00:13:36] Robbie: That's the beauty of coming into growing kindness Right after the pandemic. We were just starving for kindness and connection,
[00:13:46] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm.
[00:13:47] Robbie: and that's where we got it. So that was one of my favorite stories.
[00:13:50] Deanna Kitchen: Maybe I'm not the only one listening to this dabbing the tears out of my eyes because it's just. So meaningful to see the way that one small thing can touch. Not only did it touch, it just makes me teary thinking about that. Not only did it touch that lovely cashier who was probably having a flustered afternoon in this busy time to know that she was seen and remembered, but then everyone witnessing and.
[00:14:14] Deanna Kitchen: And then that gentleman taking the time to return the kindness to you and naming it and sharing what it meant. I think that's honestly, it's why my hope and my dream for what the growing kindness movement does in the world is that we just get to help keep sending these ripples out and then they just end up finding their way to bump into each other and then those.
[00:14:37] Deanna Kitchen: Move on and inspire the next person. And I know that whenever it's been my shared experience too whenever you have the opportunity to watch other people be kind to each other just the smallest thing, someone opening a door or someone smiling and saying a kind word to another person or somebody handing something as a gift to someone who needed it whatever that may be.
[00:14:59] Deanna Kitchen: It moves us to kindness, it changes. And I wish I had saved the study, but there is a study, I don't know who did it. I wanna say it was Harvard, but I may be incorrect in quoting that. But that kindness changes the the wiring in our brain when we get to not when, not just when we're doing it, but when we watch and witness it and when we hear about it, it.
[00:15:20] Deanna Kitchen: Wires us up, like it prepares us to act in kindness. So then we not only just like that gentleman, he got to watch that act of kindness. Then he was wired up to do something kind. So he came and shared with you and it just isn't that beautiful. It just keeps these, ripples in the pond keep bouncing back into each other and.
[00:15:39] Deanna Kitchen: That's just so meaningful and such an encouraging thing for us all to remember. Robbie, thank you for sharing that part of your story. Robbie, what are some other times when you have gifted flowers? I know that you are a frequent flyer in your community in taking flowers with you. Out in many different ways.
[00:15:58] Deanna Kitchen: What are some other times that you have shared flowers with someone that you just kind of carry in your heart with you still, whether it was, how it made you feel or what their response was?
[00:16:07] Robbie: it's always every day something somebody. I think the ones that were the most meaningful was the hospital, that woman at the hospital, and then the cashier. somebody in my neighborhood, I didn't know them, and they said, you're the lady that gives away flowers, aren't
[00:16:24] Deanna Kitchen: Yeah, you've earned a reputation.
[00:16:26] Robbie: yeah. So I said, yeah how can I help you? And she said, well, somebody about four blocks away, they lost their son
[00:16:34] Deanna Kitchen: Hmm.
[00:16:35] Robbie: and. I just thought that I know you do that and could you put some flowers on their porch? And I thought, wow. I don't know that person. They didn't know me, they never knew me.
[00:16:46] Robbie: And so I just put the growing kindness and with an a note that said, I heard about your son and I'm so sorry. I hope these bring a little bit of cheer in into your hard life. Something like that. Some simple thing with the tag. The tag is the key and even today, was getting my nails done and I had brought, and I don't get my nails done, but I don't know it very infrequently once a year or something. But I happened to needed to go somewhere tomorrow, and I happened to have something that I needed to do last week that needed to be a little bit more polished.
[00:17:17] Robbie: So. Last week I brought her a thing of flowers, and then this week I brought her some more flowers and she said, oh, you don't even need to tip me. These are so beautiful. They're so wonderful. And she said, , last week I was gonna be going in a hot car. So I couldn't take 'em with me, and so I gave them away.
[00:17:36] Robbie: and she had given it to somebody else in the salon and when I was going to leave, that person came over. Said, oh, I just so enjoyed those flowers all week long. So now that's not like that heart throb kind of thing. But the thing about flowers is that they affect everyone in the same exact.
[00:17:55] Robbie: Way even men. One time I was in a department store, I was just passing through. I just needed, some, I needed a backpack and I had flowers, and I was gonna be going to one of my therapies, my physical therapies afterwards. So I had flowers to give. To them. And so I had flowers in my car and this guy was helping me.
[00:18:15] Robbie: And somehow or other, I don't know why flowers came in up into the conversation, but they did. And Oh no, I know. I bought the growing Kindness flower backpack.
[00:18:25] Deanna Kitchen: Ah,
[00:18:26] Robbie: you one. and okay, so they
[00:18:29] Deanna Kitchen: it was such a lovely gift that you surprised me with. I'd never seen this backpack before, but it's lovely floral, completely covered in flowers, backpack, which is just so like you Robbie, to think of something like that and connect it with growing kindness.
[00:18:44] Robbie: So I, that's how it started, right? And he said, oh, I just love flowers. I went to my car and I got him. The flowers I was gonna take to my physical therapist, which, she gets 'em all the time, so it wouldn't matter, right? So anyway, and he, he just, oh, can you take a picture of me with
[00:19:02] Deanna Kitchen: Oh. Because they touched his heart. I actually, as you were sharing that, I was thinking about, and I don't remember the statistic exactly, clearly. I need to get up on my, having statistics and quotes prepared, but it's something to the effect of, I don't know what percentage it is, but it's a tremendous amount.
[00:19:15] Deanna Kitchen: Men who never are gifted flowers and they only are given like flowers on their funeral, like at a funeral service, is the only time they're ever flowers sent to a man. And I thought, how sad. Like I would love for us to normalize that everybody, like you said, everybody responds to the beauty of flowers, everybody.
[00:19:33] Deanna Kitchen: Good on you for reaching out in that way and what an impact it had on him. I bet you if we were to ask him today some kind thing that someone did for him, I bet you he would remember that.
[00:19:41] Deanna Kitchen: Robbie, I bet you could tell us stories for days about your interactions in your community. The ways that people have responded. And I'm sure if we were to, I mean, clearly if you're known as the flower lady, I'm sure if we were to ask people about their experiences in receiving flowers from you and receiving that kind of care, the stories would be endless.
[00:20:01] Deanna Kitchen: I love how you said at the beginning that it was, and connecting with people that help carry you through such a difficult season. It's so meaningful and encouraging to hear about their responses and your responses and the way that it is helpful with them.
[00:20:19] Deanna Kitchen: And you,
[00:20:23] Robbie: That first year was so much fun. I would glean my garden in the morning I line up all my, whether jars, cans, whatever I was gonna use, and I would just fill 'em. And I never knew where they were gonna go or what they were gonna do, but they were gonna go with me or they were gonna get dropped off at people on people's porches. Originally I had planned to do things like in less affluent neighborhoods than mine,
[00:20:51] Robbie: but because of my aneurysm and not being able to drive, then that changed everything or that changed it. And so I thought, oh what I've discovered is that everybody needs flowers.
[00:21:02] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm.
[00:21:03] Robbie: Everyone is touched by kindness Everyone is,
[00:21:07] Robbie: and we all need it.
[00:21:08] Deanna Kitchen: I think sometimes we tend to assume that if things look like they're going well for somebody, then life must be easy and there's no challenges. But like you found, we don't know the hidden hard things that people are navigating through. It probably comes up in every single one of these podcasts, but you just started where you were, you didn't have the capacity to go into other neighborhoods or areas at that season of your life as you were recovering.
[00:21:31] Deanna Kitchen: He simply started where you were. I love that.
[00:21:33] Robbie: And use what you have. someone in our neighborhood when she, before, before she died, she willed her house to the hospital. but with the stipulation that all the stuff in the garden would be gifted to. The neighbors and they could come over and dig up all her stuff.
[00:21:51] Robbie: She had, I don't know how many roses and she had aserium, so I dug up a clump of aserium. And put them in my garden. Well, now that clump is about maybe 40 clumps of the flowers that just come up every year. They're the most easy to grow flowers, they're not my favorites. And I was, before growing kindness, I was actually gonna pull 'em out 'cause or give 'em away, because they're just really not my favorite.
[00:22:20] Robbie: And yet. Today, I went out to my garden. What do I have? Astro merriam's. So I put those with some olive tree leaves or branches and oh my gosh, it was so beautiful. And that's what I gave to the Neil Parlor gal. And last week I hadn't been to this, there's a little restaurant in our neighborhood and my husband and I used to go, it's just a little local place, sit at the bar or not the bar, anyway, and you get taco or it's a very casual place and the wait and the waitress always knew us and I.
[00:22:54] Robbie: I just really wanted a taco and I wanted, so I drove by there and went in and got a taco and she goes, oh my gosh, I haven't seen you since your husband died. And it was like, she goes, I still, and out of the blue, she goes, I still remember your flowers.
[00:23:11] Deanna Kitchen: Oh.
[00:23:12] Robbie: See? She goes, I still have the little jar that you put the flowers in.
[00:23:17] Robbie: and so I wanted to give, I wanted to come home and give her flowers, just drop off some more flowers, but I haven't done it. Maybe I'll, you know, I'll still do it,
[00:23:25] Robbie: but now they'll get a tag on 'em.
[00:23:27] Deanna Kitchen: Yes.
[00:23:28] Robbie: even be better.
[00:23:29] Deanna Kitchen: That's so encouraging to remember that there's always opportunity, the door is still open. You can always step forward in kindness, so there's never a wrong time for it. Robbie, you have given flowers. In so many ways, and for so many years, I know that you have gleaned some great little tips and insights along the way.
[00:23:48] Deanna Kitchen: So for someone who's listening who maybe either wants to give flowers more frequently, or maybe wants to get started for the first time, what are your hot tips that have helped make it easier for you to be able to grow and give flowers in your community?
[00:24:01] Robbie: be prepared. So one is. Have your little jars all set up. spice jars are the best because they're really teeny tiny and they're easy to get the label off. And so what I do is I tie, I use a rubber band. I know it's not pretty, but I just put a rubber band with the tag on the grind, kindness.
[00:24:23] Robbie: And so that then they're just already ready to go. That's the thing. It's ready to go. so you have, you put your water in 'em. You can even just walk in your garden and pick a few flowers and plop 'em into the jar and you've got a jar to go. And they're simple and it one rose. If you grow roses, you could put one rose in that jar and it makes a difference.
[00:24:45] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm.
[00:24:46] Robbie: my favorite flowers to grow are sweet peas because they're prolific nobody has, they're not in grocery stores. I don't know. I've never seen 'em in
[00:24:57] Deanna Kitchen: No, they're very fragile for transport, so they're really typically only found like hyper locally. if you wanna get into the whole like, wholesale shipping thing, yes. But they're not common. You're absolutely right.
[00:25:08] Robbie: And they bring back memories. I have a neighbor that has Alzheimer's or dementia, whatever, and I can take her over uh, sweet Peas and it takes her back to when she was, she would garden with her grandmother. Because it's an old fashioned flower
[00:25:25] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm. That fragrance.
[00:25:27] Robbie: and the more you cut, the more it blooms.
[00:25:30] Robbie: So I, I think start where you are. If you have a rose. You can even just cut a chameleon. Uh um, You can cut greens out of your yard greens, that's all. And people still go nuts. It's the thought. , It's really the thought. So I guess that's what I would say is you start small
[00:25:46] Robbie: and don't start from growing seeds
[00:25:50] Deanna Kitchen: That's wise advice.
[00:25:51] Robbie: That's too hard. Now if you get into it, that's fine. And especially with growing kindness, we have all kinds of seminars and teaching moments that we can learn how to grow from seed and how to, that's what I learned how to do. The the press
[00:26:06] Deanna Kitchen: Oh, soil blocking. Mm-hmm.
[00:26:07] Robbie: the soil, the soil blocking. I didn't know how to do that before.
[00:26:10] Robbie: And I, my 6-year-old grandchild and I did these soil plots and they, and it worked. best thing ever. It was so much fun. But I learned that through growing kindness, I learned how to propagate dahlias, cut twist 'em off and make , more tubers how to handle, , all kinds of gardening things that mean that was just icing on the cake.
[00:26:32] Robbie: The community of, growing kindness is so fabulous. All these like-minded women, or I think we have a, maybe a couple guys. I don't know.
[00:26:39] Deanna Kitchen: Yeah, we're we're, Everyone is welcome. Everyone is
[00:26:42] Robbie: everyone's welcome and, they're just generous people.
[00:26:45] Robbie: They're generous. Kindhearted. When I came up to the the retreat a couple years ago, and we went to the nursing home. And there was one gal in our group and I did, and I experienced her being overly generous. Like we had made these, well, I'll show you. We made these hats, or not hats, but,
[00:27:06] Deanna Kitchen: You still have your flower crown. I love that.
[00:27:09] Robbie: Yes. So I was gonna wear it today, except it was, it actually didn't work. But but okay, we all had these and we were wearing 'em into the thing, and I wasn't giving mine away, but she did. And I thought. She and I said, how did, and then the same thing that I was traveling with another gal, and she was just all about, what are we gonna do with these flowers?
[00:27:32] Robbie: We had some flowers left over, and so she wanted to figure out how we were gonna get these flowers into the community. She was intentional and she was, that was the mind of , the generosity of these. People that are involved in this, in the organization. They're just fun to be with. And of course, I love gardening, so I'm gonna, we're gonna always have that.
[00:27:53] Robbie: But they're heart souls. They're, they care about other people. They care about, they just care more than the average person. And it's. It's like you said, the ripple effect happens. I thought, okay, the next time somebody asks for my brief, I'm giving mine away. I don't want to, but I'm gonna give it away because of her.
[00:28:15] Robbie: And I was very thankful that no one asked.
[00:28:18] Deanna Kitchen: But it's, I love what you said, like I love what you're noting and that really is, it's the same as. When we see kindness, we're inspired to kindness and this really beautiful thing happens when we gather this community like you've experienced, when you gather around with people who are more of what you want to be, it inspires us towards that.
[00:28:38] Deanna Kitchen: Like I know we, I can't remember. I think it's the quote, something like the, I. Top, the six people that we spend the most time with is who will become the most but I love the fact that there's this entire community of people who are intentional about being kind and who are generous and community minded and just big hearted, and it's just amplifies , and grows exponentially when we immerse ourselves in community like that.
[00:29:03] Deanna Kitchen: And I'm so. so thrilled that's what it has been for you, truly. That was always the vision and the dream for what, , this community would be the growing Candace community would be a place where people felt seen and loved and felt like they belonged and also felt inspired and encouraged towards towards kindness even more so.
[00:29:24] Deanna Kitchen: I'm so thankful to hear that's been your experience, Robbie. What an absolute delight it has been to get to hear your story and witness the ways that you have navigated through a very.
[00:29:36] Deanna Kitchen: Challenging season through your garden and through kindness and what a kindness it is to us today to get to hear that story. And just like the gentleman who witnessed you sharing those flowers and it moved him. To act in kindness. I know that I'm walking away from this interview today inspired to be more intentional about the ways that I can move in kindness in my community as well.
[00:30:00] Deanna Kitchen: So thank you so much for being here with us today, Robbie. We love to end with one simple question that really illustrates the power of kindness and the way that it truly stays with us and changes. Maybe just our day or maybe even our life. So I'd love to ask, what is one small kindness that someone once did for you that you still carry in your heart today?
[00:30:24] Robbie: It's sort of hard to narrow it down to one ' cause so many people have done so many beautiful things that I. Constantly am reminded of and carry. And so I think of two actually. When I was really a,, a new widow and I was having a hard time getting through even the days and even like, what groceries together or whatever.
[00:30:44] Robbie: And I was in Trader Joe's again and somehow or another came up that, I'm just trying to navigate life without my husband. And the gal said, oh, hold on a minute. And the cashier hold on a minute. And she went and she got some sunflowers and she handed them to me and she said, we'd just like to give you these to cheer your day.
[00:31:04] Robbie: it was like this, it did cheer me. It just. Lifted my spirits from when I went in there sad and not like meandering the grocery store. I didn't know really even what to get or what not. Just, I was lost and she just, oh, and. I took a picture of those in the Trader Joe's cart and then mailed a postcard back to Trader Joe's and said what this cashier did for me and what it meant to me.
[00:31:32] Robbie: And I just wanted to make sure she knew that what she had done was just a beautiful thing. And then the other thing was when my husband was sick and it was towards the end of his life. And I was having trouble getting him. He couldn't even take a step, and so I needed to get him to the doctor.
[00:31:50] Robbie: I just couldn't do it. So I called one of my neighbors and I said, can you come over and help me get down, get him. Down the step into the car. And she said, sure, I'll be right there. she says, oh, what? And so she helped me and she goes, what's that basket?
[00:32:04] Robbie: And I said, oh, that's just our sheets. He if he rubs his, he has really thin skin now. his sheets, they always get bloody. And she said, I'll, I'll take 'em home. She took 'em home, washed 'em, ironed them. Literally ironed the tops of 'em, and then folded them in the most, tidy and put a ribbon around them.
[00:32:24] Robbie: And they were on my front porch when I came home. So those were the two that sort of stood out. They're both my before growing kindness, they do they stay with me.
[00:32:34] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm. Robbie, that is so beautiful.
