[00:00:00] Deanna Kitchen: welcome back to the Growing Kindness podcast. Today's conversation is a tender one. It's a story deeply rooted in love and loss, and it's a beautiful way to remind us all that love continues to grow even after everything changes. So today I am joined by a growing kindness ambassador, Olivia Sharp, and she's gonna be sharing her story with us.
[00:00:26] Deanna Kitchen: As you listen today, I want you to just take a minute and slow down with us to be reminded that the quiet ways that kindness works. To be reminded of the quiet ways that kindness works and love continues to grow. So Olivia, thank you so much for being here with us today. Would you just start out by sharing a little bit about who you are and where you're from?
[00:00:53] Olivia Sharp: Yeah, hi. Like she said, my name is Olivia. I am 32 years old. I I live in Ripley, West Virginia, have lived here my whole life. My husband Josh and I, we have been, we'll be married for nine years this year in May. We have two. Beautiful babies. Our first is Liam. He is our angel. He's in heaven, and you'll hear me talk about him today.
[00:01:20] Olivia Sharp: And our daughter, Lucy, she's two. She says she's very, very silly, sweet 2-year-old. We love her very much.
[00:01:29] Deanna Kitchen: A few photos of her and she's darling.
[00:01:32] Olivia Sharp: Her smile can brighten up any room no matter what. So she is, she's wonderful. We are very blessed to have her. I'm a radiation therapist. That's what I do for a living which is I provide radiation treatment to patients who are battling cancer. And that is what I've done for, it'll be 11 years this year.
[00:01:54] Olivia Sharp: So I love what I do very much. It's a very humbling and very rewarding field to work in.
[00:02:03] Deanna Kitchen: I can only begin to imagine, thank goodness for nurses and therapists like you who care and nurture so beautifully.
[00:02:11] Olivia Sharp: Thank you.
[00:02:14] Deanna Kitchen: Well. Olivia, you mentioned Liam, and really it seems like your story with flowers maybe begins alongside of his story. Can you introduce us to him and share a little bit more about his story?
[00:02:31] Olivia Sharp: Yes. I apologize if I start crying. I'll try not to.
[00:02:35] Deanna Kitchen: Welcome here. Please don't ever feel like you need to apologize for them.
[00:02:38] Olivia Sharp: thank you. Gosh. On July 18th, 2022 I was 28 weeks pregnant with Liam. This was actually our second pregnancy. My first pregnancy I actually had a miscarriage. Not very many people know that it was a very, very precious gift, being able to be pregnant with Liam for us.
[00:03:02] Olivia Sharp: It was a normal Monday morning. I got up, I got ready for work, kissed my husband goodbye. He was still he hadn't gotten up for his day yet. I have to go to work a little bit earlier than he does. And I left my house and started driving to work. I have about a 30 minute drive to work from where I live.
[00:03:22] Olivia Sharp: And on my way there an impaired driver came across the median on the interstate and hit me head on at 70 miles per hour. And that is really when my world was turned upside down. I think that God works in such wild ways that like, you just can't even imagine.
[00:03:44] Olivia Sharp: Just like from that point I remember everything. I was awake for all of it. I just, I remember it in vivid detail, but, you know, I was helped out of the car. The two guys that helped me out of the car they didn't let me look back at my car which I'm very glad for.
[00:04:02] Olivia Sharp: 'cause I, to be honest, I still haven't been able to look at pictures of my car. But they helped me to the side of the road and, obviously traffic was stopped at that point. And there was actually a nurse that was behind the accident that stopped and came out and helped me until EMS got there.
[00:04:20] Olivia Sharp: I was able to call my husband and usually usually he was still, he worked, he primarily works from home. But that day he was actually traveling for work, so by the time I had left, he was actually up already or was getting up. And so usually if he wasn't working out of town, he wouldn't have an, probably wouldn't have answered the phone. 'Cause his phone would be on silent, but he was awake and he saw my call and I was trying to like remain calm and explain what had happened. 'Cause I knew he would have to come to me. And anyways, he finally got there as I was being evaluated by EMS. And I was then taken to the hospital where they.
[00:05:03] Olivia Sharp: After some time they were able to evaluate me and determine that I had a placental abruption from the impact of the accident. And so Liam was gone. It was awful and I feel like that is very much a disservice to just say that it's awful, but there really aren't any words to describe how awful
[00:05:27] Olivia Sharp: that was, you are praying that everything is okay 'cause you just have no control. Literally none. You're hoping that when they're telling you there are no fetal heart tones, that they're wrong. It was it was a nightmare. So it was determined that I would need to have an emergency c-section to deliver Liam and knowing that he wouldn't be alive when that occurred.
[00:05:55] Olivia Sharp: And also it was determined that I was at the borderline of going into what's called DIC, which is disseminated intravascular coagulation. Which is, I have, I had abnormal clotting factors in my blood to where I was essentially bleeding uncontrollably.
[00:06:15] Deanna Kitchen: Oh my goodness.
[00:06:16] Olivia Sharp: And if it, that can go really bad really quickly if it's not under control.
[00:06:24] Olivia Sharp: And it was because of the abruption itself.
[00:06:28] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm.
[00:06:29] Olivia Sharp: So that was another thing. And I didn't. Quite understand that, how severe that was. 'Cause really at that point I was just really numb as to, for everything that was going on, apart from just being like, in shock and just utter disbelief. So that was another layer to it that not only was Liam gone, but like my life was at risk too. They were prepared too. Life flight me to another hospital. They had units of blood on standby for me. And that I had to be monitored heavily after my C-section.
[00:07:07] Olivia Sharp: Like I said, there at God works in in ways that I'll never be able to understand, but. I know that there were people and nurses in particular there that day that were meant to help me. 'Cause the only thing that I could say when I was being prepared for surgery, when they were asking me the OB that was gonna be performing my surgery, when he was asking me questions about what I, things that I wanted and, the only thing that I could tell him was that I'm not supposed to be here yet. And thankfully for the angels in that room, and by angels I mean the nurses they helped me make the best decisions for me and for my husband. And and really one of those was like being awake and not being put under for the surgery itself.
[00:07:57] Olivia Sharp: So that way I could, we could see Liam in that moment if we wanted to. And so I think that was a really it was a much needed thing for us. While it was terrible it's a memory that I'll never forget in a good way and in a bad way, if that makes any sense.
[00:08:16] Deanna Kitchen: Absolutely.
[00:08:18] Olivia Sharp: But yeah, that, that is a little bit, a very condensed version of Liam's journey into Heaven.
[00:08:25] Olivia Sharp: I like to say I am very thankful for my family and our support system that my husband Josh and I have. Just everybody that rallied around us, even we live in a small town where really everybody knows everybody. And sometimes a lot of people say living in a small town isn't the best.
[00:08:47] Olivia Sharp: But for us, we don't feel that way at all. We had our community support us. We had people that I'd never even met, pray for us, and send us messages and cards. I have a. A box that has Liam's name on it. It's like an engraved wooden box. And we kept every card that ev anybody sent us they filled our dining room table for the longest time just as reminders that, we felt loved and supported and cared for and actually never felt.
[00:09:22] Olivia Sharp: I felt God's presence in a different way from after the accident. And that was really one of those ways I've never felt, I don't know how to describe it other than like feeling and knowing that people were praying for us and trying, and wanting to help us in any way that they could. Even though there's, I don't wanna say there's nothing you can do, but really there's nothing you can do.
[00:09:44] Olivia Sharp: There's nothing anyone can do, but. Prayer matters and letting people know that you care about them matters. And I just, I've never felt like that before and it was very eye-opening for me and it changed me. It changed my faith, it changed a lot of things in my life. And I try to really remember that.
[00:10:08] Olivia Sharp: When I'm having a hard day, which happens a lot but I try to remember things like that and just knowing that God's still working and because of that we can have hope.
[00:10:24] Deanna Kitchen: Thank you so much for trusting your story with us, Olivia. To be rem reminded that. is so much beauty in the way that we can show up and care for people and just seeing them and remembering them and letting them know that we see them and the experience that they're navigating through.
[00:10:46] Olivia Sharp: Mm-hmm.
[00:10:46] Deanna Kitchen: Oh my goodness.
[00:10:47] Deanna Kitchen: I feel like I don't, I'm Olivia, I feel like I don't, I'm like, how do I have the right words? I've, I wish we were in the same room right now. 'cause I could hug you then,
[00:10:57] Olivia Sharp: Thank you.
[00:10:58] Deanna Kitchen: Oh.
[00:11:00] Olivia Sharp: Liam's story it's a lot. We're still in that grief, we'll never be out of that. I remember feeling like just that how stuck. I felt and some days I still feel that way I'll be honest about that.
[00:11:14] Olivia Sharp: I don't think I, I really don't think that'll ever change. I think that you just learn to carry it a little differently. Unfortunately, apart from losing Liam, there were a lot of things that you know, Josh and I had to do that, that no 29-year-old should have to do. As we had to plan a funeral, I didn't know how to plan a funeral.
[00:11:43] Deanna Kitchen: Hmm.
[00:11:43] Olivia Sharp: We had to decide where we wanted Liam to be laid to rest. Which meant we also needed to choose where we wanted to be laid to rest so that we could be next to our son.
[00:11:55] Olivia Sharp: Who even thinks about that? Definitely not me. We had a lot of decisions that we had to make and unfortunately, another layer to this story is there was a, legal side of this. The person that hit me had several drugs in his system. And so there were things to be done with that.
[00:12:22] Olivia Sharp: One of the, gosh, one of the struggles that we had was. That the person was originally charged with DUI, causing death against Liam. And unfortunately with the way the code for that particular law or charge was written, it did not specify what a person was,
[00:13:03] Deanna Kitchen: Hmm.
[00:13:06] Olivia Sharp: meaning that it did not basically meaning that Liam was not considered a person.
[00:13:17] Olivia Sharp: So imagine losing your son and then being told from a legal and justice standpoint. He's not recognized as a person in that car. I would be lying if I said I didn't have survivor's guilt
[00:13:38] Deanna Kitchen: Hmm.
[00:13:38] Olivia Sharp: moment. Because if I weren't here, then maybe, and prob well, he would've been punished too. A much larger extent. But one of the positive things that did come from that, and I try to find the positives in any kind of situation that I'm in.
[00:14:01] Olivia Sharp: As hard as that can be sometimes, because if I don't, You can really sit in some really bad thoughts. That's not the way I wanna live my life. I want to do everything and anything that I can to make my son proud, because I know he's watching me all the time and that gives me a lot of peace.
[00:14:23] Olivia Sharp: But it's also a reminder that you have to pick yourself up and you have to keep going, and you have to do good things and move forward. But one of the things that came out of this is that we were able to, Josh and I were able to work with our local members of the House of Delegates to get the law changed and to get the language changed.
[00:14:52] Olivia Sharp: It's now known as Liam's Law. So it includes the language, includes an embryo or fetus as a distinct person in a vehicle when something like this happens, because unfortunately it will, it'll happen. And so now no other parent should have to hear that their child isn't considered a person like that.
[00:15:14] Olivia Sharp: So again, Liam's story. Will hopefully help other people people that we may never even meet, but but just no one should ever have to hear that. So I just, I'm very proud of that. I'm very proud of that.
[00:15:31] Deanna Kitchen: As you should be as you were navigating this season of loss. How, what helped you to carry forward? What helped you to move forward in that time?
[00:15:51] Olivia Sharp: Goodness. My husband and I, we both started going to therapy , we tried to do it together and we both realized that wasn't gonna be as helpful for us to do it together. I think it, to be honest, it was too painful for us to do
[00:16:04] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm.
[00:16:04] Olivia Sharp: we both wanna protect each other all the time.
[00:16:09] Olivia Sharp: And I think that it really would've done us a disservice to do it together so that way we, so we could truly open up about how we were feeling without trying to protect the other person.
[00:16:23] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm.
[00:16:24] Olivia Sharp: And I really thought that we'd be in therapy for a while and, we would close that chapter and we'd be able to move forward with without that.
[00:16:33] Olivia Sharp: And to be honest, we're both still in therapy today. And it is a great tool for us. We both, journal a lot. It's a way to just get, 'cause my mind doesn't stop ever. And whether it's rational thoughts or irrational thoughts, it's just good for me to get everything out. And really those two things and just.
[00:17:04] Olivia Sharp: Josh and I being able to communicate with each other on how we're feeling and we're in the, we're in the same boat, but we're traveling at different speeds sometimes. We learned a lot about each other throughout this time, that time and still today
[00:17:20] Olivia Sharp: 'cause we were unfortunately put in a situation that we never ever would've thought we would've been in. But I think more than anything, I am beyond thankful for the man that I married and chose to spend my life with because not only is he a wonderful partner, but he's a fantastic dad to Liam and to Lucy.
[00:17:50] Olivia Sharp: And. He honors them both every day, and that's just, ugh. I could go on and on to be honest with you. But the really, one of the awesome things that I started doing was planting flowers and being in the garden. After the accident a woman that lives in Ripley. Her name is Shaylee Casto. She reached out to my mom and invited my mom and I to come out to her flower farm. It's called Given Flower Company. I didn't even know it existed at the time. I met Shaylee before Josh and I, she where she works. In a local furniture store. We actually brought, some furniture for our house there from her.
[00:18:36] Olivia Sharp: But other than that, I'd never talked to her before. She helped me pick out pillows from my couch. Other than that, she's got, I knew she had great taste but she, offered for my mom and I to come out to her flower farm. And so we did and. It was the first time since the accident that I was able to shut my mind off. And I was actually looking back through my journal the, my first one. And I was going back and trying to find where I wrote about being there. So I thought I'd read what I wrote. It was on August 18th, 2022, which is actually my mom's birthday. But I said yesterday my mom and I were invited to pick flowers at given flower company.
[00:19:35] Olivia Sharp: That was the first time I've been able to do something and be able to take my mind off of everything. I feel like I had fun, which anybody who's experienced any kind of. Grief. I can't like that alone. I just think that is huge. I just, I remember how awful I felt at that time. So being able to actually write that down, that feeling to me that just speaks volumes.
[00:20:06] Olivia Sharp: I said flowers have always made me happy. I think that's part of the reason I wanted to do something with the flowers from Liam's service. One of the, one of the things that I did after Liam's service, I loved, when we were planning his funeral we were picking out, we were talking about flowers and what flowers we wanted to have there.
[00:20:26] Olivia Sharp: And I just said, I love flowers. I think that they're beautiful. I've always loved flowers and, I said what flowers I liked and colors and like yellows and blues and whites and just pretty, and they were beautiful. They were really beautiful. And the local Floris, they just did a phenomenal job.
[00:20:45] Olivia Sharp: And I, I just remember thinking like, I just don't want these to ever go away. They're so beautiful. I don't want any, I don't, they deserve to just go on forever. And, but one of the things that we did after that. We actually, that same local florist they actually dried a lot of the flowers for me and we were able to put them in a shadow box with Liam's picture in it and just, it was just such a beautiful thing and we made them for all of my immediate family.
[00:21:20] Olivia Sharp: So everybody has a piece of that day as awful, I mean, as hard as it was that day, but just to me it just means so much. And just what a beautiful a beautiful thing to look back on from that.
[00:21:32] Deanna Kitchen: Yeah.
[00:21:34] Olivia Sharp: But back to Shalee's flower farm. So my mom and I went out there and we just, we had such a good time and we stayed out there till dark.
[00:21:43] Olivia Sharp: And we actually ended up going back a few times after that. And we one time when we were there, we ended up planting a whole row of sunflowers for Shaylee. She gave us, she gave us the stuff to plant and she said, just do as much as you want and take your time and enjoy yourselves.
[00:22:02] Olivia Sharp: My mom and I were like, don't give us a task and expect us not to just. Take off with it, we got to work and we planted that whole row and I left with blisters on my hands and I was so excited about it. Shaylee was like, oh my gosh, I, why didn't you tell me you're getting blisters?
[00:22:17] Olivia Sharp: I would've given you gloves. This is awful. And I'm like, I have never been more happy to have blisters on my hands in my life. This is fantastic. I can't wait to do it again. So we shaylee and I still joke about that to this day. She goes, my gosh, I felt so bad. And, but it was great. We, my mom and I got to see that sunflower patch bloom and grow and it was just, it was very special for me.
[00:22:44] Olivia Sharp: Shaylee had always told me, she goes, come back anytime you want. You don't even have to ask. Usually when people say stuff like that, at least for me, I don't take it seriously 'cause I just never would wanna impose on anyone. And so I continued to ask if it was okay if I come out and just help or just walk around the garden.
[00:23:02] Olivia Sharp: It's just. It's such a slice of heaven out there. It's just quiet and beautiful and just all of the flowers blooming, in the summer and fall, and it's just, I love it so much. But I, that was really like one of the first times that you, that I felt welcomed somewhere, no questions asked. And I just think that's such a beautiful thing. Feeling like you're not imposing on somebody, you're not a burden on someone. And they just, shaylee and all the flower girls, they just welcomed me with open arms. And it was just, it's just, it's been wonderful and they're just an inspiring group of women and I just, I love it.
[00:23:49] Olivia Sharp: I love it so much. And I just, I go out there as much as I can and just. Get to help out and be a part of that beautiful place. And Shaylee even ended up I didn't know she was doing this, but she actually had a sign made for Liam that she puts up wherever the sunflower patches, 'cause it tends to move around just because of the birds.
[00:24:13] Deanna Kitchen: Yes. Yes.
[00:24:14] Olivia Sharp: she, she tries to put it in different places. To keep him safe, but but she had a sign made for Liam for the Sunflower patch. And I think I sent you a picture of
[00:24:24] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm.
[00:24:25] Olivia Sharp: But I just, it just, it, I tell, I, I write Shaylee a card every year at the end of flower season. And I like to make a donation to the Flower Farm in honor of Liam.
[00:24:38] Olivia Sharp: I just think that it's so important and, but I feel like Shaylee saved me in a little bit of a way in her garden and everything that she does, she's just the kindest person you'll ever meet. I just, you don't meet many people like that, I feel like, and she's so special. She's just helped me.
[00:24:59] Olivia Sharp: Yeah.
[00:25:00] Deanna Kitchen: Can I go back one part in your story? You mentioned that Shaylee invited you and your mom to come to the garden.
[00:25:08] Olivia Sharp: yes,
[00:25:09] Deanna Kitchen: Did Shaylee understand, I'm assuming because it was a small town, did Shaylee know what was going on in your life and your circumstance at that point? And that was what moved her to invite you into the garden?
[00:25:19] Deanna Kitchen: Wow. I have goosebumps because I don't, I perhaps, maybe because I don't, I don't realize the opportunity that we have before us sometimes that we can offer people rest in our space. And that's so beautiful. It comes back to that piece that you were saying about knowing that people see you and see where you're at and reaching out to you in that.
[00:25:41] Deanna Kitchen: And the fact that she knew that and she offered what she had, which is giving you space. could grieve and heal and just process everything that's been happening that is very impactful.
[00:25:56] Olivia Sharp: Yes it is. I like I said, I just really feel like there's no other way to put it other than she, she saved me a little bit and there have been times where I am having a really hard day and I just need to go do something, get out, go do something. And a lot of times I'll feel like I don't.
[00:26:16] Olivia Sharp: Necessarily have a place to go, but I know that I can go there and just be outside and it's just quiet I feel like my mind is so loud and there's something about being in the garden that just brings it down a notch. And there's something good about getting your hands dirty and disconnecting a little bit.
[00:26:42] Olivia Sharp: I feel like. I'm somebody who's on my phone probably way too much, but
[00:26:47] Deanna Kitchen: You're probably not alone in that.
[00:26:48] Olivia Sharp: yeah.
[00:26:49] Deanna Kitchen: I know you're, I know you're not alone in that.
[00:26:50] Olivia Sharp: It's a beautiful place and getting to know the other flower girls and listening to their stories, it's just, it's amazing. You never know what somebody else is going through, and that's even these sweet girls that are in.
[00:27:03] Olivia Sharp: The flower girls, I say a lot of them are in high school. But they, the things that they've had to go through in their lives being so young , and how strong they are. And it's just, it's humbling for me, it's just, you just, you never know what somebody else is going through and feeling safe enough to share your story with others and be kind and really listen to somebody else.
[00:27:25] Olivia Sharp: I think that can help somebody more than you realize. But yeah, it's just, I love it there so much. Everything that she does, it's just Oh, I love it.
[00:27:32] Deanna Kitchen: Wow. , What a meaningful gift to be invited into space to heal and to grow quite literally in that season.
[00:27:43] Olivia Sharp: Yeah.
[00:27:43] Deanna Kitchen: you were navigating through those first months after. Such a devastating loss.
[00:27:49] Olivia Sharp: Yes.
[00:27:50] Deanna Kitchen: flowers continue? It sounds like going to the farm and being there it's continued to be a really impactful that sounds cheesy. Sorry. Sometimes I stop and I'm like, sometimes you're trying too hard.
[00:28:01] Deanna Kitchen: I sound ridiculous.
[00:28:02] Olivia Sharp: No, not at all.
[00:28:04] Deanna Kitchen: so did flowers, have flowers continued to be a part of your journey, aside from the work that you're getting to do with Shaylee on her flower farm and giving flowers there?
[00:28:14] Olivia Sharp: Yes. , I loved it so much there that I just, I made, I always, I've always had flowers at my house in my yard and things like that. But Shaylee loves to give her flowers away and give her dahlia tubers away and the seed starts that she does. And so I started my own garden in my backyard and it's.
[00:28:32] Olivia Sharp: Very small compared to Shalee's. I don't know how she runs such a huge operation, truly, but when I can't get out to the flower farm, I love to go outside in the evenings and cut some flowers. I think again, that's just a few minutes to just stop. And I have a very, I feel like I have a very hard time doing that.
[00:28:57] Olivia Sharp: That's just a, something that's so helpful for me. But another, I think the biggest blessing from it, from Shalee's place too, and some from my garden as well. But where I work at the cancer center we periodically have a growing kindness night. And we'll go and pick as many flowers as we can, as quickly as we can, and we will put arrangements together for me to take, to work, to give to my patients.
[00:29:31] Olivia Sharp: And what I thought I knew it would be great. I knew the patients would love 'em. I love flowers. They're just beautiful. I love. Putting them in my car and my whole backseat and trunk are full. And it's just beautiful to look in my rear view mirror the next morning going to work and this looks great.
[00:29:51] Olivia Sharp: But my coworkers love them, which is it really warms my heart to just bring some joy that way. We like, we take 'em all out and we put 'em up on the desks and arrange 'em all, and, then we get to like, Ooh, I wanna give this one to this patient. With those who don't know much about radiation, we see our patients every day for anywhere from one treatment to 40 plus treatments.
[00:30:18] Olivia Sharp: That's a lot. You get to know people on a very deep, on a deeper level than you would in, in other fields of medicine. So again, you just, you get to know people a little bit and. Try to just make someone's day better. And so getting to give these to our patients and explain a little bit about the Grand Kindness Project and how special it is.
[00:30:43] Olivia Sharp: I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful it is to give these away and how how much joy it brings to our patients. I've had patients look at me and say that they've never been given flowers before. Something that just seems , so it. It seems so small and like who, like who hasn't been given flowers before and, believe it or not, yeah, there are people out there that have never been given flowers before or you picked out this certain arrangement for this patient and it's, got a lot of purple in it and , oh my goodness, purple's my favorite color.
[00:31:21] Olivia Sharp: And you didn't know, we didn't know that, but like, how cool is that? And just something so small to just maybe turn somebody's day around. Or just, there've been patients that have cried. Just being so like, thankful and appreciative and maybe they're having a bad day for a million different reasons that we know nothing about.
[00:31:43] Olivia Sharp: And just something, just a little bit of brightness there. It's just, it's been such a blessing and I can't wait for flower season every year just 'cause we get to do that again.
[00:31:54] Deanna Kitchen: It is hard to put to words the feeling, isn't it?
[00:31:58] Olivia Sharp: Yeah.
[00:31:58] Deanna Kitchen: think we know it. It's almost like we can put words to how we feel when we receive flowers, but when we're giving them away, it's almost beyond. Words, just there's a joy.
[00:32:09] Olivia Sharp: Yes.
[00:32:09] Deanna Kitchen: It's beyond words, but it is such a joyful experience.
[00:32:13] Deanna Kitchen: And I one of the really. Beautiful things that I've gotten to witness through getting to hear people's stories of giving flowers and through the stories here, even on the podcast, is just over and over. This theme of the way that it helped people navigate through some of the darkest times to to heal in ways they didn't know were possible for them to connect in ways that.
[00:32:38] Deanna Kitchen: Opening, opening doors that had never been opened for them, just by the simple act of giving. But it's beyond, it's almost like beyond a definition, like
[00:32:46] Olivia Sharp: Yeah.
[00:32:47] Deanna Kitchen: joyful and impact filled, the opportunity
[00:32:51] Olivia Sharp: Mm-hmm. Absolutely. And where I work fairly close to home, unfortunately, and fortunately it kind of goes both ways, but I see people that I know and , there are times where you see somebody. A family member that's with that particular patient.
[00:33:08] Olivia Sharp: And, and it just so happened that there was a time where that family member was having a really hard time while her dad was being taken care of. And it's like, you see somebody having such a hard day and I just, I brought flowers that day and like, this is the time, and you just know somebody needs something. And just, again, just giving those away and trying to. To help somebody through a difficult time. It's just, it's, it seems like something so small, but it just, it has like such a huge impact and I just, I love it so much and it's just a very beautiful thing to, to try to brighten someone's day.
[00:33:49] Deanna Kitchen: I could not agree more.
[00:33:50] Deanna Kitchen: I think one thing that I would love to ask you if it's okay, Olivia I think. So many of us often wonder, how can we help when somebody is going through a traumatic loss or a loss? What is one thing that you wish people maybe understood or even a piece of advice that you could give us so that we could better support people who are navigating through a similar experience?
[00:34:21] Olivia Sharp: Oh goodness. I really think checking on somebody. Just sending that text message or like making that call. I think just letting somebody know that you're thinking of them. 'cause a lot of times in sit, like in situations like this, there's really nothing you can do. , You can't fix it, you can't, it is just, that's just kind of it.
[00:34:50] Olivia Sharp: But I just think being there and being available is just. best thing that you can do. For example, my best friend, her name is Jenna. , She's my person. I hope everybody has a Jenna.
[00:35:04] Deanna Kitchen: What is that? Is it an Anna Green Gables? Kindred, kindred spirit? He's like, she's your kindred spirit.
[00:35:09] Olivia Sharp: She is. She's she's incredible. One of the, one of the difficult and. Difficult parts of this, of Liam's story is that Jenna and I were actually pregnant at the same time.
[00:35:20] Deanna Kitchen: Oh wow.
[00:35:22] Olivia Sharp: Quinn is Jenna's daughter and she's incredible. But Quinn is actually a couple weeks behind Liam, in age. So it was a very difficult time for us to navigate a lot of aspects of our friendship and. Being there for her while she's in this wonderful season of bringing a baby into this world.
[00:35:47] Olivia Sharp: And I'm now on the opposite end of that spectrum, the polar opposite and one of the things that she did that was always just helpful we would talk a lot. Obviously, but there were times when it's just she didn't really know what to say and because like, what can you say? But she would just send me a text message with just a heart and that was it.
[00:36:15] Olivia Sharp: And I would send one back and like to I, that'll make me cry. But I just think like knowing that somebody is thinking of you and they may not know just what to say 'cause you don't. Putting myself in her shoes, you don't wanna say anything that makes it worse or brings up something that, you're trying to not think about.
[00:36:37] Olivia Sharp: But just sending that, just a little love note that they're, she's there. And so I just think being there for somebody and just letting 'em know that you're thinking of 'em and that you're praying for 'em. And. I just, I think it matters. I, before the accident, I was always somebody that I would never wanna hurt someone's feelings or bring up something that like, kinda like I just said, something that somebody may not wanna think about right now, or if they're having a hard time, like you never wanna make anything worse.
[00:37:09] Olivia Sharp: But being on the other side of that and being the one receiving. Those messages from other people. Like it matters and it does help. It really does. And it's important.
[00:37:29] Deanna Kitchen: Thank you for sharing that with us. What a powerful tool to be reminded that it really is so simple
[00:37:35] Olivia Sharp: Mm-hmm.
[00:37:35] Deanna Kitchen: as simply letting people know that you're thinking about
[00:37:38] Olivia Sharp: Mm-hmm. Absolutely.
[00:37:41] Deanna Kitchen: So Olivia, I normally wrap up our conversations with the same question, which is, what's one small thing that someone. Has once done for you, that still stays with you today and I think you just shared that exact experience for you. So what a beautiful reminder to us all that.
[00:38:01] Deanna Kitchen: It really is as simple as sending a tiny little, even just a little heart to someone to let them know they're seen and they're remembered in whatever season and experience they're walking through.
[00:38:13] Olivia Sharp: Mm-hmm.
[00:38:14] Deanna Kitchen: you so much for sharing. All of your story and your heart with us here today. I hope that everyone listening can leave this remembering that love can continue to grow even through some of the hardest experiences.
[00:38:30] Olivia Sharp: Mm-hmm. Thank you so much.
[00:38:33] Deanna Kitchen: Oh my goodness. And this is where I'm like, I wish I could just hug you in
[00:38:37] Olivia Sharp: Yeah.
[00:38:38] Deanna Kitchen: What a thank you for letting. Letting me hear your story. Thank you for letting me share your story. I know that
[00:38:46] Olivia Sharp: Yes.
[00:38:47] Deanna Kitchen: a big leap of vulnerability, to put it out, but I think that it is going to have such a positive impact.
[00:38:54] Deanna Kitchen: There's either gonna be people who are going through, who are in a season of loss who need to hear
[00:39:00] Olivia Sharp: Mm-hmm.
[00:39:00] Deanna Kitchen: With your, maybe one step ahead of them , in navigating through,
[00:39:04] Olivia Sharp: Mm-hmm.
[00:39:05] Deanna Kitchen: Or. Maybe there's someone who has someone in their life who's experiencing a loss, who needs to just know how to be there and support them.
[00:39:12] Deanna Kitchen: And I think that this will be a really powerful tool for just giving people. I think we all need to hear that, that it's not about doing it right, it's just about showing up. Just show up and just let people know you. I love that, but it's honestly, I'm sitting here thinking, I'm like, there's so many people who I don't know what to say to, but just to say, I am just thinking of you.
[00:39:31] Deanna Kitchen: Is enough. That's.
[00:39:32] Olivia Sharp: it's, it really is, with that, , it really taught me a lot because like I said, there, how many times if, have you watched somebody else go through like you just said, somebody's going through something and , what can, I'm fixer? So,
[00:39:45] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm. You and my husband, he's the fixer in our relationship. Yeah. Yeah. I'm the feeler. He's the fixer.
[00:39:50] Olivia Sharp: Yeah, I wanna know, you tell me the problem. I'm going to, I'm gonna try to work it out. No. No matter how big or how small I wanna take somebody's pain away. And I, that was one of the things with Josh and I we both wanted to fix it. We both wanted to take each other's pain away and like you can't.
[00:40:08] Olivia Sharp: But figuring out that it's okay to not be able to do that, it's okay to not be able to fix it. And to, Jenna taught , it's something that Jenna taught me, just, and she, she even told me, she goes, Olivia, there are times where I don't know what to say be, , and I just want to, I want you to know that I love you and that I am here.
[00:40:31] Olivia Sharp: And if you need me to tell you a funny joke, say the word. If you need me to listen, say it. , Tell me. And I will. But I think a lot of time too, when you're going through something like that, you don't want to, you don't wanna make anyone else sad, how, I know how heavy our story is, and I, especially during that time and, know, I don't want anybody to even come close to feeling what we felt
[00:40:55] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm.
[00:40:56] Olivia Sharp: and sharing and like in sharing our story during that time.
