[00:00:00] Deanna Kitchen: Welcome back to the podcast. I'm so glad you're here with us today.
[00:00:03] Deanna Kitchen: I am joined today by Sherry Froelich, one of our growing kindness ambassadors and longtime team members.
[00:00:10] Deanna Kitchen: Sherry, we're so honored to have you here with us today to get to hear more of your story and your experience.
[00:00:18] Shari Froelich: I am delighted to be here and, I'm excited to tell my story.
[00:00:22] Deanna Kitchen: , Can you start out just sharing a little bit more about, where in the world you are? What corner of the world are you growing kindness in?
[00:00:29] Shari Froelich: I'm in northeast Lower Peninsula of Michigan and I was born and raised in the house that I'm living in, but I spent all of my adult years away. , My parents built this home before they got married, so it's near and dear to my heart. I am I. Two siblings, a brother and a sister. My brother is now deceased.
[00:00:48] Shari Froelich: I was one of those wild childs that, didn't fit my parents' mold of their expectations of just getting married and having kids. I was pretty determined to go to school, although the, what I wanted to do was become a medical doctor and I never succeeded in that, but I started out as a one year certificate, LPN, and through the course of my educational pursuit, I ended up having a doctorate, but it's a doctorate in nursing practice.
[00:01:19] Shari Froelich: So in that journey, I also accumulated a few master's degrees because where I was living at the time was so specialized that I had to reinvent myself. And the only way I could do that. From my perspective was getting another degree, but it's been a delightful journey. I've had so many opportunities to experience so many things, and I'm forever grateful and I know that being a medical doctor, I would never had the variety of experiences that I've had.
[00:01:52] Shari Froelich: So it's been wonderful. Yeah. Yeah. . And I have two kids. , One of 'em actually lives in the state of Washington. , I can't tell you where she's living right now because she moved so many times. She has a, beautiful granddaughter my granddaughter who will be 26,, this year.
[00:02:14] Shari Froelich: And my son lives in the state of Wyoming and he has. Two twin girls, by adoption. , He has been their dad since they were three. I don't think their adoption went through until they were about five or six. , And he's now a single parent to, two lovely, high maintenance twin daughters that are 16.
[00:02:37] Shari Froelich: So he's on all the time, but.
[00:02:40] Deanna Kitchen: There's certainly an intensity that comes with parenting teenagers. Sherry, it's so easy for me to hear, even in just this bit of your story, how important family is to you and how it's been so central, and also how important serving others and caring for others , through nursing has been to you.
[00:03:01] Deanna Kitchen: , I think that it's so. Unique. And it's also so incredible that you persevered in pursuing an education the way that you did. , You have certainly been a lifelong learner. I would love to know what drew you to nursing in the beginning. , Or you, it sounds like at the beginning, your mission and goal is to be a doctor, which then ultimately you did accomplish through your doctorate in nursing.
[00:03:28] Deanna Kitchen: . What drew you to the medical field into caring for others in that way?
[00:03:33] Shari Froelich: I don't honestly know back the, I wanted to be a medical doctor when I was 16, so I'm not, I don't have any recollection of. Why, but once I got into nursing I knew that right from the get go, for as long as I can remember, I was a nurturer. And that started out a bit because my dad sailed on this great Lakes in the cement freighters.
[00:04:00] Shari Froelich: He was only home for two weeks in the summer and he. When the lakes were frozen over. So he always got off leave after Christmas about January 5th, and then he started getting the boats prepared to sail again probably mid-April. And so consequently my mom was alone most of the year and she raised us.
[00:04:26] Shari Froelich: And it was always hard. But what I learned from her were a couple of things that. A woman can do anything she has her mind to. And so that has stuck with me all my life. And yet the other part was my brother's four years older, or was four years older, and my sister's eight years younger. So I was old enough throughout all of this that, she shared things with me.
[00:04:55] Shari Froelich: So I knew early on that I was my mother's emotional caretaker and it wasn't anything bad, but it was just one of those things that I always was a great listener. So it was easy for us to talk over the years and develop that further so that was really the foundation of nursing. And I would never have found that as a medical doctor.
[00:05:24] Shari Froelich: I don't think at least not then, because healthcare was just so different then than it is now. and my first experience in nursing was working in a nursing home, and I had this profound need, I don't know, not a need, a desire at the time to never let anybody die alone. I just couldn't do that. So even if my shift was over, I was there.
[00:05:55] Shari Froelich: That persisted through pretty much all of my career as far as I could. I had some administrative roles. One of my master's degrees is in hospice and palliative care, so I was able to bring that to fruition. I had the opportunity to set up the whole department of hospice and palliative care in the hospital. And even then I just, it was not in my heart to let anybody die alone. That has been a fundamental core of who I am. And I had brought my mom home with hospice care. My dad, I couldn't because I lived downstate and I didn't have enough time to take away. But in the very last few days of his life, I was able to be with him in hospice care.
[00:06:47] Shari Froelich: And then my brother passed away in August of 2020. So it was just starting COVID and he had been in a nursing home and, of course during COVID, nobody could come and see him, but I knew how to navigate around the building and we talked through the window and that was always such , a treasure.
[00:07:06] Shari Froelich: And that was the foundation of how my relationship with him changed because he was always a person that had a love hate relationship with me. And mostly I was on the hate end. But that ability for me to go in and see him and I would get his grocery list and it was always from Dollar General, so , deliver them.
[00:07:29] Shari Froelich: And he called me one night and he said, just wanted to tell you I love you, and I wanted to say goodbye. My hospice years went up like. What are you talking about? And he said, I don't think I'm gonna be here very long. So I was on. As soon as we hung up, I'm on the phone with his providers at the nursing home and he was also in hospice.
[00:07:50] Shari Froelich: And they said, we really don't see anything. I think he's just depressed. And I said, no, no, there is something different here. , Because of the love hate relationship when I found out all this and put it together, I said. Rory, I'm gonna bring you home with hospice. And he said, no, you're not. I don't ever wanna go back into that home.
[00:08:08] Shari Froelich: And I said, I'm your sister and I can be as stubborn or even more stubborn than you are. So anyway, it was a really just a wonderful transition. I was able to get him home with hospice this first last five days, and because it was COVID, I was finally able to get his twin sons to see him.
[00:08:29] Shari Froelich: Because they had never gone to the window. And I connected him with his oldest daughter who was living in Louis Louisiana, I think at the time. And they had a horrible relationship and was able to connect him on phone. And even though it wasn't on speakerphone, I could hear, and it was such a, oh, it was such , a gift that his daughter had said.
[00:08:56] Shari Froelich: Dad, I forgive you for everything and I love you immensely. And he was like, oh my gosh, I love you too. So it was just this wonderful bonding moment at the end of his life that I'm so grateful that I could give him and I'm gonna cry. But anyway and then we or he wanted to be cremated, so we orchestrated that.
[00:09:22] Shari Froelich: Took him out to his favorite spot to spread his ashes. But through all that, I was when he first went into the nursing home, I, no, I'm sorry, back up. When he first brought him home with me, I was just starting a Master gardener program and was introduced to growing cut flowers. . After he passed away in 2021, I decided to have my first cup, flower or garden.
[00:09:50] Shari Froelich: And again, it was all through COVID. So I spent all my time, I had no idea how many flowers I would be producing, and I was so overwhelmed that I needed to gift them. , He had left, he was a Medicaid patient and he left a big bill that. Ultimately he was responsible for, and I took all the flowers to the nursing home and had big old buckets of flowers and just, little jar filled types of flowers.
[00:10:22] Shari Froelich: Nothing magical or special, but I dropped them off at the door every week. I could never see the staff. I could never see the patients. And I did that every week through the whole summer in honor of him and hopefully to repay a small debt of what he couldn't. That was really the start of my growing flowers.
[00:10:50] Shari Froelich: And then stupidly to next year, I went from two, three foot wide, 65 feet long. Growing space to two acres, and you can imagine the amount of overwhelm that I felt and I was so overwhelmed. I really didn't do a whole lot of anything. I don't know why. But then I think it was at the end of 21 that, a little fuzzy on the dates, but Kelly piece had introduced.
[00:11:23] Shari Froelich: Be to growing kindness, and I knew as soon as I lurking into the group that I had found my home and it was able to, I was able to refurbish my mission in a way. I had no idea that it would be. Come so near and dear to my heart and it's giving love through kindness and, and the vessel is flowers.
[00:11:52] Shari Froelich: That's just been very special to me. It's been a journey. My love of flowers started with my grandmother. Although I didn't like her flowers, they were plain gladius at the time. But it took off. My mom absolutely loved flowers. Every area that she could, she filled it with flowers and she just was for the delight of them.
[00:12:16] Shari Froelich: And she has a picture of me when I was about two or three years old, and I was sitting in the front yard, bending over, sitting, bending over, smelling a dandelion and that. Was the start of my love of flowers. And all of her sisters, she had three sisters who all took a gazillion pictures of them and had to share their gardens, and they were magnificent.
[00:12:42] Shari Froelich: And they weren't rows and rows of flowers like I have now. They were just masses of flowers. And so this year I've decided that I wanna get back to that. But the love of flowers really came through my mom. Now my sister, she got the organization in cleaning gene. I got the outside growing flower gene, so that's been my journey.
[00:13:08] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm. What? I'm sorry, just a second. I don't know why. Oh, you know what's happening. Sorry. Pause. This will, we'll edit this out. I couldn't figure out, I was like, what is going on? My phone's on do not disturb, but every time I say Sherry, my phone picks up that it's Siri. And so it like, kicks on to wait for me to ask the question.
[00:13:31] Deanna Kitchen: Goodness. Oh my goodness. Sherry, your story is the thread of nurturing is just woven throughout every piece of it. , You have such a heart. For caring for others. And like you said, that started with, having a mom who empowered you and also who demonstrated love so beautifully. , I wanna back up 'cause I think there's a, you have so many unique experiences and parts of your story.
[00:14:00] Deanna Kitchen: One of the things that we had talked about earlier in your relationship with your brother that I think it makes it. Incredibly dynamic. Is that , you had mentioned in an earlier conversation, the two of us that he was navigating in his life through some really unique challenges that impacted his relationships with other people , and the way that affect affected you getting to watch the way that.
[00:14:24] Deanna Kitchen: You got to witness your parents , and their relationship with him. Can you share a little bit more about that unique part of his journey and then your relationship together because of that?
[00:14:36] Shari Froelich: Sure. He's four years older than I keep saying he is. , He was four years older than I am he was always a flight risk and he became very unmanageable in today's language.
[00:14:49] Shari Froelich: He would've been labeled oppositional defiant disorder child. through the years, in my own education became pretty clear to me that he had pretty significant bipolar. So he was hot and he was cold and hot was, he was running away and cold. He was more neutral in terms of being loving, but because he was always a flight risk he, over the course of his early life. He ran away several times and my parents worried to no end of where he was, if he was alive, if you know what was happening to him. And I think the longest period he was gone was about 10 years. And it was just hard and yet wonderful to see. Hard because I know my parents suffered. But when he arrived it was like the prodigal son coming home.
[00:15:48] Shari Froelich: And so even though as we grew up, he still had a love hate relationship with me. I chose to embrace the side of he's always welcome. I'd give the shirt off my back for him. And I know deep in his heart he would do the same , for me. Maybe not quite as much, but. That's okay. He's a boy. And so that, that kind of balance persisted and I'm very grateful for my nursing career because I had to set boundaries on him.
[00:16:21] Shari Froelich: He unfortunately developed a drug dependency after he was in the army. And that was a challenge because when I became a prescriber. That's what he wanted was medication. I said no, I'm not having this conversation with you. And he would get so mad at me because I would repeat that I'm not having this conversation with you.
[00:16:43] Shari Froelich: And he finally, he would hang up and, but he would call again and ask. And, but what was interesting is that typically he always hugged and kissed me when he saw me. And he always said, I love you. That was a theme in our family, but I never expected it from him. Again, when he got older, his life was still very volatile in terms of stability.
[00:17:14] Shari Froelich: He didn't have stability, but yet times he would be good. He had two daughters. The first one died. About a week after her birth, her, their, his second daughter actually passed away a year after he did. And then he had twin sons. So there was elements of stability, but even with his kids, it was a tenuous relationship at times.
[00:17:37] Shari Froelich: But I had no doubt that at, if he needed me at the end of his life, I would be there for him. And so that's, what I did and it was difficult along the way, and yet it was such a wonderful ending of his life and our story.
[00:18:03] Deanna Kitchen: I think knowing those parts of your story and that relationship makes. Those in days in that experience, even sweeter for us to understand. And then to get, to see the way that,
[00:18:21] Deanna Kitchen: that you continued even nurturing him through carrying carrying his memory forward , and carrying love forward in the ways that you. Grew those flowers and took them back to the community that had cared for him, I think is just really especially sweet. What a beautiful reminder to us all though in, in and through this story of how powerful it is to just keep loving people even when things are hard.
[00:19:00] Deanna Kitchen: And I just. I think that the way that you were able to bring him home and care for him and nurture him in that way is just profoundly beautiful. And also it's really incredible to think about the way that,
[00:19:19] Shari Froelich: Excuse me. Turn this off. Okay.
[00:19:23] Deanna Kitchen: no worries. It's really incredible to think about. The way that sorry, my brain went, so this is my brain. Like lately. This is, it's like squirrel brain where I have a, hold on. I have , I had a train of thought, now she's gone. I don't, I'm sure you can relate. There's moments like that. I think we all have them, but I feel like I have a lot of them lately.
[00:19:43] Deanna Kitchen: Oh, sorry. So we were talking about, oh I think that it's really profoundly. Meaningful the way that your career in a way prepared you for being able to care for him even in that moment? I think that palliative care is something that so many of us are really unfamiliar with. And end of life care and relationships is something that, so many of us don't have to navigate until we do, and then don't know maybe necessarily how to even navigate through. What advice could you give to to all of us today? When it comes to navigating alongside somebody, walking beside somebody , and. Their, the, their end day is an end of care, end of life care.
[00:20:43] Deanna Kitchen: What does, what, okay. Now I'm just like, but , what advice can you give us from , your training and your experience that would help us to know how to show up and be there for people that , are navigating through that same season?
[00:20:58] Shari Froelich: Mm-hmm. Well first of all, it's a when I approach people and. They have some suffering, whether it's physical or existential. Oftentimes because of the state of their being, not being able to communicate much of that. And if I can even get a nod or a blank, I will ask them, you afraid of the before part or the after part? And that really reveals quite a bit if. They're afraid of the be four part. Typically it means that they're afraid of having pain and not having a, a peaceful death. Of course, there's always the element of worry about family members, how they're gonna go on. So they spend quite a bit of time if the family is agreeable to talking about.
[00:21:53] Shari Froelich: We're gonna be okay dad. We're gonna be okay. And we give you permission to go. , And that becomes difficult family dynamics at some time. And one of the things I feel very fortunate to, 'cause after I got my hospice and palliative care certificate or certification, I went on to, I become a psychiatric nurse practitioner, and it was only because that I saw in my family meetings such dysfunction.
[00:22:26] Shari Froelich: I thought I have to, and of course my whole family, dysfunction, if you will, played into that. I have to delve into why people do the things that they do, and through the course of my psychiatric training. And even quite a bit with my hospice and palliative care training, I became a mediator of family meetings and I could walk into a room and feel, whoa, this energy is not good. And I was always able to come to a resolution. And I learned from a very wise doctor in my hospice and palliative care. Very early days, he asked me, Sherry, what's the best way to, going to a battle. And I said, I don't know if you've ever been in a battle. He said, most people wanna go around it, but the best way , to go into a battle is go directly into it. And that has served me so many times so well in confronting relationships and even, life issues is like, okay, there's no point of curring around the issue. Let's go
[00:23:33] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm.
[00:23:36] Shari Froelich: Outcome so much better and quicker. That's been , a part of me. I have to backtrack just a minute.
[00:23:45] Shari Froelich: Recently I had to take a personality test and very, again, very early in my life, I determined that I wanted to be a wise peacemaker and.
[00:23:57] Deanna Kitchen: beautiful.
[00:23:58] Shari Froelich: This personality test came up that I was a dove and an owl. So it's symbolic of being a wise peacemaker.
[00:24:10] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm.
[00:24:11] Shari Froelich: I just found that funny, but, not funny.
[00:24:15] Shari Froelich: I mean, not surprisingly
[00:24:17] Deanna Kitchen: Intriguing. Yeah.
[00:24:19] Shari Froelich: Very much so. , If there's conflict, I know how to get through it. And weather the pain, and a lot of things in life are like that. It's always benefited me. And when there's a challenge, I'm first one to take it on. I may not know exactly what I'm doing, but I've learned presence. Presence to witness stories. That would be the other thing in ho my hospice and palliative care journey. And oftentimes, again, I'm going way back to my nursing career in as an LPN bedside nursing was very intimate. We gave nurses, gave baths and back rubs. Back rubs, and. Foot baths were vital components of nursing care. So when I became a hospice and palliative care nurse, oftentimes the staff would tell me, we just can't get through to them. , I started off with back rubs and then I would get a pan of water, hot water, let their feet soak, and then just massage them. I didn't have to say a word, and they were telling me their life stories, their fears, and it was just. It is simple to me for whatever reason, and you just have to bear presence. Whatever they're going through. Don't try to fix it. Don't they know? They know when, how sick they are, even though they haven't admitted it to anybody. They know what's gonna happen. Yes, they do have fears, but even if you just pay. Presence to that. I mean, it's just a wonderful gift to them, but then a wonderful gift back to the person. , Ask them about the before part or the after part, and then bear witness to their story. I found so many things that were wonderful. The first female post office person a person who invented the first walking a lawnmower.
[00:26:33] Shari Froelich: These were such wonderful treasures that if you don't stop to listen, you don't know anything about a person, nothing at all.
[00:26:42] Deanna Kitchen: That is such a beautiful reminder to us all, Sherry, to just the power of presence and just being available to listen and to hear what a gift it can be. a person going through. And I think the beauty in that is what a gift to a person who is in stage of life, but also in, in the bigger picture, that gift is so powerful to anybody navigating through any experience is to just be there and hold space.
[00:27:16] Deanna Kitchen: And hear their story. So thank you for that reminder to us all that the power that we have and the help that we can be to someone who may be in that stage of life to be able to just simply hold out the gift of presence and listening. So thank you for sharing that with.
[00:27:37] Shari Froelich: How that manifests today in at least a growing kindness world is I listen by my eyes, but also you can, sounds weird by my ears. When growing Kindness fellow members post something, I try to delve into what are they really saying?
[00:28:02] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm.
[00:28:04] Shari Froelich: many times they'll ever get responses to what they're not asking. And so I really try to answer from an aspect of what are they saying? Why are they saying it, and what do they need?
[00:28:23] Deanna Kitchen: Yeah, which is so much a picture of that nurturing. Heart that you have., I've had the gift of, when you talk about our community, our online community, where people from , our team can meet each other, connect, ask questions, share struggles. I've had the gift of getting to witness your interactions with so many people there, and that has been so.
[00:28:52] Deanna Kitchen: Evident and seen. It's just that nurturing ability, and I love that, there's this thread throughout your entire story of, of the importance of care and connection and nurturing, whether that was in your family or in your experience, caring for your brother and his end days or through your care in nursing, and I think.
[00:29:13] Deanna Kitchen: It's been really beautiful to get to watch that thread woven throughout our community in the way that you have just showed up to just look out for people and check in on people and, and cheer people on and ask those bigger questions. I think , sometimes we're all just looking for someone to hold space and hear our story or hear our challenge, and so it's so lovely when we get to.
[00:29:38] Deanna Kitchen: Be that for somebody else and then. It's so inspiring for anyone who gets to witness that happening, those types of interactions. So Sherry Flowers really have kind of been woven throughout your story as well. Obviously your mom and family inspired a deep love of flowers when you were young, and then it was through your experience with his brother in his in days and end of life care and then taking flowers.
[00:30:09] Deanna Kitchen: Back to his care home, where kind of the spark was lit for you in growing and giving flowers. As the years have unfolded, you have, you've grown and shared flowers in many, many ways. What have been some of your favorite. Memories or experiences since that time when you first started growing and giving flowers as acts of kindness after your brother's passing that maybe just stay with you or that are something that you hold near and dear to your heart?
[00:30:40] Shari Froelich: There were two specific. Types of, I'm gonna say venues, but they were really events. One was an isolated one. And that was the first year that I grew tulips. And I didn't realize that they were all gonna bloom at one time. So I package them up and I have no way to. What am I gonna do with them?
[00:31:06] Shari Froelich: And so I bundled them up and a nice pretty paper and took them downtown and I walked the streets with bundles and I just pass them out, walk away. Once in a while, people would say, why are you doing this? I can but I also went to the UPS store and gave one to , the male. Person at the re, what do I call it?
[00:31:32] Shari Froelich: Cut person behind the desk, the service person. And he said, what am I gonna do with these? And I said, well, give 'em to a woman you know and love. And so he laughed at that. Then I was walking out and. Trying to get stuff together in my car to leave. And then a couple of vehicles pulled up and I decided, I got more flowers.
[00:31:54] Shari Froelich: So I just walked over to them and they opened the window and I gave them flowers. So it's always the best to me when you could just hand them out, don't have to say anything, and their faces reveal it all. And then later that day, I was just walking down the sidewalk and giving them away and, men, women, anybody that I could do.
[00:32:19] Shari Froelich: So it was fun. Then the second way that just had meaning for me in the way that I was quite not quite prepared for was taking my little red flyer wagon. Downtown to lp. I live about eight miles from town and filled it with little bouquets of flowers, arrangements. And as women, mostly women, as they exited Walmart, I walked up to them and had them a little arrangement.
[00:32:57] Shari Froelich: And that was so magical because here in Alpena we have a. Our demographics are such that we have a small portion of fluent people. Most of the people are uninsured unemployed
[00:33:14] Shari Froelich: And we also have a high proponent of people with mental health disorders because Alpena has a one of the only facilities in northern Michigan.
[00:33:26] Shari Froelich: That mentally ill people can go to, to reside for a bit of time. So anyway you never knew who's know who's gonna walk out of the store. And I've had women break down and say, nobody has ever given me flowers.
[00:33:43] Deanna Kitchen: Oh.
[00:33:45] Shari Froelich: Women, I have to hug you. Okay, I'll take it. Women who say why did you do this?
[00:33:50] Shari Froelich: And again, I'll just say because I can. And so many people said, you just made my day.
[00:33:56] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm.
[00:33:57] Shari Froelich: that was the best reactions I could ever imagine, and it gave back to me tenfold.
[00:34:06] Deanna Kitchen: Mm-hmm.
[00:34:07] Shari Froelich: it was people who were not expecting anything. They've never gotten much in life that would say, this is a good life, and yet I hope that moment made them feel like they were worthy.
[00:34:23] Deanna Kitchen: Oh, I think that flowers just have this power unlike any other thing, to let people know how seen they are and how important they are and that they deserve beauty. There's something about. Giving somebody something that's purely for the sake of beauty and joy. I think that has an impact. That's unlike receiving any other kind of gift.
[00:34:48] Deanna Kitchen: Like even if it's essential care needs or things like that. But to receive something purely for. The just joy and beauty of it is, it's so powerful and I just cannot imagine how many people that day walked away from that interaction with you and held tightly to that memory for a very long time.
[00:35:10] Deanna Kitchen: Long after those flowers have faded, I am sure many of them think back on that moment and remember when somebody saw them and gave them. Beauty and kindness just because they existed, just because they des they deserved it just for being. And especially as you were sharing with, as you were sharing the dynamics of the population there, to think, like you said, those are people who the luxury of flowers, is not typically within reach.
[00:35:43] Deanna Kitchen: So the power of receiving them , is even. Greater, I think when it's something that we can't even, we don't even have the opportunity or resources to gift ourselves. , Wow. I just, I had goosebumps listening to that.
[00:35:57] Shari Froelich: You as you're talking the whole aspect of them remembering me is never something I think about. And even back into my nursing career, I educated, I nurtured. My philosophy was as a nurse manager at one point in time is you grow them and then you grow them. So they, you have them to nurture, to educate, to train, and then your ultimate pers perspective or goal is to move money somewhat like a parent, can't tell you how many people came to me later on and in my career and said, you are instrumental in my decision to go to nursing school, or you were my impetus of wanting to go for a higher degree. And I'm thinking, I have no clue what I sat or did. It
[00:36:51] Shari Froelich: It's, I'm unaware of that, so I, I don't know. It's
[00:36:59] Deanna Kitchen: I think whenever we meet people with gentleness and kindness it is memorable. And I, the beauty in that is it costs so little to give. It, it cost us , just a a moment, an intention to give, and yet the value of it is so great and so lasting. And I think that's something that just, again, is woven throughout your story of just nurturing and caring for people in these little ways in big ways.
[00:37:33] Deanna Kitchen: And it just pouring out and then that being something that, those people could carry with them. It's a memory that I, I can think of so many. Just tiny little moments in interactions where probably the other person may or may not remember that they did it or said it. Just little things like, the woman in the grocery store who told me that I was doing a really great job, just in a day when I didn't feel like I was doing a like, great job as a mom, great job mama.
[00:38:06] Deanna Kitchen: Like those are three words. Great job, mama. And yet I still remember that. Today, and so I think it just, that's such a, it's the power of kindness is that actually it costs us so little. Like you said, it's just about being present. It's just about taking time to show up for people or to see people and let people know you see them.
[00:38:28] Deanna Kitchen: And yet the impact is deeply profound and lasting.
[00:38:33] Shari Froelich: Right. I have one other story to tell you about my brother, at least he's the background piece. I retired from my professional job in 2021 and I was working in psychiatry at the time and I loved it, but I knew at that moment in time. That I didn't have the reserve any longer to give to people.
[00:38:56] Shari Froelich: So I transitioned into my giving to flowers, and this is a little bit of backstory here. So I grew flowers and I realized, well, this is my nursing career. In one season, you birth them, you grow them, you diagnose them, you treat them, and then they die. But after let see, I was retired for about three years and growing Cup flowers is still a lot like COVID.
[00:39:24] Shari Froelich: It's very isolating. So I got this actually it was a message, Facebook Messenger letting me know if I wanted, I could interview with this company for doing Department of Transportation physicals. And I thought that's interesting and I got it, but my desire to do it was because my brother was a trucker and throughout his life I said it was, a grumpy and then a lovey and a grumpy new lovey.
[00:39:57] Shari Froelich: Throughout all my career I was been able to take the grumpiest of men because I knew how to talk to them.
[00:40:03] Deanna Kitchen: Yeah.
[00:40:03] Shari Froelich: my nature. But I could do it. Now that I'm working for the Department of Transportation, I get the grumpiest men sometimes, and I can relate and just as I am able to do that, I can't tell you how many grown men , I've made cry.
[00:40:22] Shari Froelich: I don't intentionally try to do that, but I do that apparently through the questioning and the listening. And the responses always to that, what they're saying. But what I'm seeing beyond that, a little bit from what they're saying, it's just been weirdly wonderful,
[00:40:43] Deanna Kitchen: How full circle though , to be able to take all that you've learned. Through your, long career , in nursing and psychiatric care. And then to take all of your experiences, in caring for your brother and walking alongside him through, his, difficult journey with mental health.
[00:41:03] Deanna Kitchen: And then to be able to weave that in and through just such specialized care for a really unique. Group of people. You think about trucking as a very isolating or I isolate, isolating an isolated career and how lonely that could be. And again, that piece of just saying, I see you and I wanna hear your story and I wanna ask you more what that can do for people.
[00:41:32] Deanna Kitchen: , What an absolute beautiful gift. Sherry, it has
[00:41:36] Shari Froelich: One more
[00:41:37] Deanna Kitchen: such an honor. Oh yes.
[00:41:38] Shari Froelich: more thing to round this out is that my goal this year is to give truckers flowers.
[00:41:46] Deanna Kitchen: Oh my goodness.
[00:41:47] Shari Froelich: , That's been brewing in my mind. That's what I'm gonna do this year and see just for the fun of it.
[00:41:55] Deanna Kitchen: That more. I could not love that more. I don't remember in a conversation I had recently with someone, we were talking about how, and I don't recall the statistic exactly, I need to be better about having statistics ready and quotes ready, but it was the fact that like very few men receive flowers in their life.
[00:42:12] Deanna Kitchen: They're given flowers at their funeral, and what a beautiful experience it is. We forget that. , There's no qualifier for who enjoys the beauty.
[00:42:26] Shari Froelich: Right.
[00:42:27] Deanna Kitchen: The joy of flowers, like they're for everybody. Everybody is impacted by them. And I think what a special thing to get, to reach out, to this population especially, and say, Hey, I see you and you deserve beauty, and you're remembered as well.
[00:42:43] Deanna Kitchen: Sherry, I cannot wait to hear how this unfolds this year. Please be sure. Please be sure to update us along the way.
[00:42:50] Shari Froelich: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:42:53] Deanna Kitchen: Well, what an honor, an absolute honor it has been to get to hear more of your story and see the way that these threads of nurturing and caring for others are just woven throughout every part and where it has led you and where it is leading you.
[00:43:10] Deanna Kitchen: Next. Sherry, one question that we always ask at the close of our interviews, I think it just because it illustrates so much the power of. Just one small thing , and what it can do for somebody. I'd love to ask you what is a small kindness that someone has done for you that you still carry with you?
[00:43:30] Deanna Kitchen: You still carry in your heart today.
[00:43:36] Shari Froelich: Really goes back to my mom. , She was the kindest person. Ever. She gave from her heart always. She didn't give flowers, I don't think. But when she passed away, I found a list of people or offices or whatever that she regularly gave things to, and it was baked goods, it was fresh berries or, something along those lines that.
[00:44:07] Shari Froelich: She gave to people all the time. So the giving spirit came from her, which and also the love of flowers. If I had not watched her nourished, nurture, and grow beautiful flowers I don't know that I would be here today. And I think it's a wonderful, a perspective of who I became today really started with my mom. So that's , the biggest gift I've ever gotten.
[00:44:46] Deanna Kitchen: Sherry, I am so sorry. I have to stop you. There was something that was feed like, there was like feedback on the line. It sounded like someone was trying to dial through, which I totally forgot. I should have asked. At the beginning, I totally forgot to ask if we had your notifications turned off, which that's, it's okay, we're fine, but I'm so sorry.
[00:45:03] Deanna Kitchen: Do you mind if I ask you, I hate to have to say, can you share that again? But it's got that weird dial tone and I don't wanna, I don't wanna miss this, so , I'll lead you in. I'll lead.
[00:45:12] Shari Froelich: next to it and it was vibrating, so that's
[00:45:15] Deanna Kitchen: Oh, that's what it was. That's what it was. Okay. Because it had the sound of like a dial, like a ring, but not loud.
[00:45:20] Deanna Kitchen: So Sherry, we love to end , these conversations with one special question 'cause it illustrates so much the power of even the smallest act of kindness. What is one kind thing that you've experienced in your life that you still carry with you in your heart today?
[00:45:37] Shari Froelich: It was my mom who really, gave to me the foundation of nurturing and caring along the way, whether I was listening to her, watching her I knew over the years that she gave to different people and businesses, her physicians, her whomever she gave. Baked goods and she gave berries and she gave so many things.
[00:46:07] Shari Froelich: And she was just the sweetest person you could imagine. And I will never meet those standards because, she was very different from me. I have my dad's side, which can be equally as stubborn. My mom was never stubborn, it was through her and it's through her that her love of flowers, she had a better green thumb than I probably ever will. , It was very simple back then.
[00:46:33] Shari Froelich: These days it's a little more complicated. I think when you're growing not only to gift, but sometimes to sell because you want perfect flowers. Anyway she gave me so much and I'm forever in debt of her kindness, her teachings, and hopefully I can pass it on somehow. Although my. None of my kids like flowers.
[00:47:03] Shari Froelich: So
[00:47:04] Deanna Kitchen: I think it is beyond safe to say that you are inspiring a legacy of kindness as well. Sherry. Sherry, thank you for joining us today. It has just been a delight to get to be with you and hear
[00:47:17] Shari Froelich: you.
[00:47:17] Deanna Kitchen: story.
[00:47:18] Shari Froelich: , I appreciate being asked and I appreciate being able to tell my story, so thank you so much for what you do.
