[00:00:00] Deanna: welcome back to the podcast. It is always a delight and honor to get to sit in these conversations and be able to share them with you.
[00:00:08] Deanna: Our guest, Jenny Pierto, is a 2025 Growing Kindness ambassador, and woven all throughout her story is this beautiful thread of the way that flowers have created this tool for connection in her community.
[00:00:22] Deanna: So Jenny, I am so thrilled to have you here with us today. I know that everyone is gonna be so excited to hear your story. I think it's such a beautiful reminder to us all that those small, simple things that we can do can create threads of connection within our communities. So welcome to the podcast. If you w- let's see, this is the part where, bless the podcast editor.
[00:00:45] Deanna: We'd love to hear more about you where you're from and what corner of the wor- see, wow, I'm really stepping on my words today. So can you share with us a little bit about who you are and where in the world you're growing kindness?
[00:00:58] Jenny: Yes. I am 43 years old. I've been married to my husband, Sam, for 23 years, and we have four kids together: Ava, who's 18, Lila, 16, Finn is 12, and Nora is 8. And I've been a homeschool mom since the beginning, so I've got to grow up alongside them, really. It's been beautiful, and it's been hard too. But I love the life that we have because of it.
[00:01:27] Jenny: There's been so much freedom and so many friendships along the way. And then as my flowers have grown, that's been another way that I've been able to connect with people in our community. And it's great. I love everything about it.
[00:01:44] Deanna: Fantastic. Okay, so tell us where in the world are you growing kindness?
[00:01:48] Jenny: We live in Idaho in Caldwell, right outside of Boise. And my husband and I were both born and raised here, so it's been home forever.
[00:01:58] Deanna: How big is, of an area is that? I feel like there's a lot of tiny little towns in Idaho. Are you in
[00:02:03] Jenny: know.
[00:02:03] Deanna: Like a one-stoplight or
[00:02:05] Jenny: Oh, no, it's much bigger. I think we have 100,000.
[00:02:09] Deanna: Oh, okay
[00:02:10] Jenny: I don't know. It's a big, it's... They're all... Our state has grown so much that what started as tiny little towns with lots of fields in between, they've all just kind of grown together now at this point.
[00:02:22] Jenny: So it's the Treasure Valley. all of the cities around Boise
[00:02:27] Deanna: Okay. All right. In my mind, I always think I- I've only familiar with a few small towns, in Idaho, so I think, "Oh, everyone must be..." And for a
[00:02:36] Jenny: They're all about...
[00:02:38] Deanna: small
[00:02:39] Jenny: Yeah, and they're all about 20 minutes away. My husband was born in Boise, I was born in Nampa, and we've settled in Caldwell now, and they're all 20 minutes away from each other
[00:02:49] Deanna: And so your Growing Ki- your connection with Growing Kindness actually begins with a local connection, right? Like, that's how you got, or you, that's how you first learned about our organization and what we do, right?
[00:03:03] Jenny: Yes. I met my friend Lori. Lori's a Growing Kindness ambassador, and we met at Costco. We were both shopping and digging through the racks for dahlia tubers, and I looked up and I saw she was just as into it as I was. And so we were like, "Oh, we should be friends. We're really into dahlias." And so we've been friends now for six, six or seven years. To do other things, my
[00:03:30] Deanna: and I've died if, I mean, of course, like, where the people are listening won't see it, but, , like, any parent, I don't think you could even, ... You'd have to be living under a rock to not, , see the six, seven hands going right now. Oh my goodness. And my kids, isn't it so funny? These things, like, go viral, and they're like, "That's dumb.
[00:03:45] Deanna: That's old now." So, but all the funny things. How cool, though. I have just this picture of you guys, like, just peering at each other, like, through the stacks of dahlias, like, it was love at first sight
[00:03:56] Jenny: It was exactly that. And so we were friends and then I met the sweetest old man on Facebook in a gardening group. His name is Randy Miller, and he is just as passionate about dahlias. And Randy is-- I don't know what it is about him. I don't know if it's because he's older in life, but his drive is insane.
[00:04:22] Jenny: And he wanted to start a dahlia society in our area, and he got me on board. So I s- I made a Facebook group, and I made an Instagram page and started doing graphics to make a logo and get our name out there, inform people. And so we founded the Southwest Idaho Dahlia Society. And so we've just been gathering people for the past few years.
[00:04:47] Jenny: And then there was a dahlia coup, which happens sometimes in groups like that. And so we ended up...
[00:04:54] Deanna: this is like, oh, the drama.
[00:04:56] Jenny: There was drama. There was dahlia drama and you go, "How does this happen?" about flowers. But you have to remember that people are part of the equation, and sometimes things get crazy. And so we ended up splitting off and we reformed.
[00:05:15] Jenny: We decided we're all still just as crazy obsessed about dahlias, and so we dropped a lot of the I guess its rules for a dahlia society, the Robert's Rules of Order, and all of the things that made it kind of annoying. And we just made the Treasure Valley Dahlia Club, and we were able to keep our Facebook group community that we've been growing for years.
[00:05:35] Jenny: And so we almost have 1,000 people in it now, and it's just been a wonderful resource. Anytime we find new dahlia people, we're like, "Join the club. Let's go." And so, they join our Facebook group and we chat about dahlias all day long.
[00:05:51] Deanna: Isn't it s- it's like just the picture how connecting flowers are
[00:05:55] Jenny: They are. They are. And Randy always quotes this dahlia breeder. I don't remember his name. I think it was Bud something. He's passed now, but he said, "I came for the dahlias and I stayed for the people."
[00:06:11] Deanna: I love that
[00:06:12] Jenny: And I'm like, "Aw." It just gets to my heart every time. And I'm like, it's true. We are all banded together with this dahlia obsession and crazy love of flowers, and then we form community and we stay for the people
[00:06:27] Deanna: Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Oh man, so good. Okay, so prior to you meeting Lori, you weren't familiar with what the Growing Kindness project is, like what we, who we were as an organization and what we do. However, you were growing flowers. So were you growing and giving flowers, or was that kind of your first introduction to, like, sharing flowers in your community in that way?
[00:06:52] Jenny: I was a perennial gardener for all the years of my life. I've always loved yards and gardening, but the idea of cutting the flowers and taking them out of my landscape killed me because I'm like, "Oh, they're there to be enjoyed," and once you cut them, it's gone. It's just foliage now. And I just couldn't take it.
[00:07:11] Jenny: So, then I started-- I've been a soap maker my whole life since I was a teenager, and I've done farmer markets, so many over the years. And I decided, you know what would go really great with soap is flowers, and I should just make a cutting garden. And if I make a cutting garden, then those flowers are solely for cutting, and then I won't feel bad about it.
[00:07:33] Jenny: So that's what I did. I started raised beds on the side of my house for my dahlias. The dahlia obsession had really kicked off, and I went from five to 30 to 100. And there were so many I had to give them away. And so my first thought was, "Oh, I'll make bouquets, and I'll sell them, and that's how I'll get them out.
[00:07:53] Jenny: And then it will fund my obsession." So there we go. I'm winning. And I would go to the farmer market, and the-- my local farmer market was Tuesday evenings, and it was at the heat of the day, 5:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. And I would bring these flowers out, and they would sit in the heat burning on the asphalt, and they were limp.
[00:08:15] Jenny: And then our market was also part of a concert series, so we didn't have, like, the hardcore market vendors that were there for their veggies and flowers. So it really was not a good fit for my flowers. And I would leave with all these beautiful bouquets that I had spent all morning cutting, and I was so bummed about it.
[00:08:36] Jenny: I'm like, "I have to give them away." So I started going with my kids and walking the subdivision. So I would do the market and any extra flowers I had, we would go around the neighborhood and give them out to neighbors.
[00:08:48] Deanna: What was that like with your kids, and what was that experience? I mean, did you know all of your neighbors prior to that? Like, I wanna hear more about that
[00:08:55] Jenny: Yes. I also became the HOA president of my neighborhood, and I did that job for four or five years. And so I knew a lot of my neighbors just through dealing with all the things that happened in a neighborhood. And so I knew where the widows were, I knew where the old ladies were, I knew where the young moms were, and the people that were struggling or that didn't get out.
[00:09:19] Jenny: And so we would go around and hand out the flowers. And my kids... I-- You know, it's funny you drag your children along to these things and, are they really... They're not that into it. Like, I'm into it, but they're like, "Oh, we gotta go." Okay. And then I real- I-- Then I watch them pulling the wagon, and I'm pushing the little ones up to the sidewalk, "Go give the flowers to the sweet old lady."
[00:09:46] Jenny: And they're nervous at first, and they have to work through all their nerves of it, and then they give them away, and it's like you can see something lights up in them and they're like, "Oh, I like this." And so then it became more regular easy for them to do. And we did that a whole summer. And then Lori said, "You should be in the Growing Kindness project."
[00:10:09] Deanna: You're already carrying the mission forward in your community
[00:10:13] Jenny: And so I looked... I went on the website and read through everything and looked at the application process and I'm like, "So I'm already doing these things, so what i- what is going on here?" I was trying to go what is this going to do, 'cause I'm already doing it?" And I'm like, "Well, why not? Why not just find out?" And I didn't realize right away connection to an entire network of people just like me, and then it immediately challenged me to think of new ways to give out flowers. I went from taking my leftover ones in my yard to I have to go to the mechanic shop today, so we're gonna make two bouquets, one for them and one for them to give.
[00:10:55] Jenny: And so then it just became part of our rhythm of our life. I did the... Two times a week, I would go through the garden and do a big cut, make a ton of bouquets, and then I was just handing them out the door to everyone who was leaving. So if my husband was going to work, he was taking flowers. If my teenagers were going to work, they were taking them.
[00:11:17] Jenny: They were taking them to volleyball, they were taking them to their friend's house, they were taking them everywhere. And half the time they were reluctant, but I realized the person on the other end of this exchange needs those flowers. And I don't even know who they're gonna go to, but there is not one person that isn't carrying something heavy, and those flowers will meet them in a way that I cannot. So
[00:11:43] Deanna: I have to take a breath. I didn't anticipate getting teary. I'm, and I'm sitting with, like, I think I, I hear you so much. I think that we don't know who's in need, and we have to trust that they're gonna end up exactly in the hands of who needs that care and kindness. And in the same breath, I think what's making me teary is picturing the seeds that you're planting in your family's lives.
[00:12:06] Deanna: Like, that your kids are witnessing and participating in this, and it's just the natural rhythm of your family. Like, this is just what we do. We have something, we share it. We have opportunity to see people, so we see them and we reach out. We don't just see a need. We have something to do. Like, what ... these are the ripples.
[00:12:27] Deanna: These are the, like, these are the seeds that we won't get to see, I don't think necessarily, but I just have to wonder, how are those going to grow, and what are they gonna look like in 10 years, as your kiddos... Or, I mean, like, your, you, I think you were sharing your oldest is 18. Like, even in the next few years as she starts, navigating adulthood and finding her place in her community.
[00:12:50] Deanna: And then your youngest, in 10, 20 years. Like, I just wonder as a parent, because my experience has been similar, of, a- and I will not sugarcoat. Like, i- in the beginning, you're drag- you're not, I mean, kinda dragging them along with you. Like, you're bribing them. Like, I would bribe. Like, "We're going to give flowers in long-term care, and then when we're done, we're gonna go celebrate by getting ice cream."
[00:13:11] Deanna: Or, like, there's, they're re- like you said, it's reluctant because it's new. It's uncomfortable. Meeting people is hard. The pandemic certainly impacted all of us, but especially our kids. Like, we took a- away those years of just practicing, meeting people and seeing people and helping people.
[00:13:29] Deanna: But to know that, that they're getting to have those experiences, and that's just a normal part of your... I mean, I can just see, moms in her pajamas, like, "Hey, you're heading out the door." Like, "Here you go." It's just so ordinary and common, and yet the seeds that it's planting in their lives is incredible to think about the way those are gonna grow and multiply as they
[00:13:54] Jenny: I hope so. I hope so because I'm handing them the bouquets and their eyes are rolling like, "Mom, why are you always doing this?" But I'm like, "You don't know. You don't know what that person needs, but they need flowers, so you're doing it."
[00:14:12] Deanna: Mm-hmm.
[00:14:13] Jenny: But then I get-- I'll get a message from a mom who's like, "Thank you so much.
[00:14:17] Jenny: That meant so much to me." And I'm like, "See? There it is."
[00:14:21] Deanna: Mm-hmm. Do your kids have any of their own stories now of how it impacted them in giving flowers? Or are you still in that season of like, "Okay, we will if we have to"?
[00:14:32] Jenny: They they just know now that their mom is the flower lady, so it's-- They're just adept to it. Now they're just giving them away, and the attitudes are shifted. I know the girls went up to camp last summer, and they had to drive two hours up for a wedding. They've been part of this Bible camp since they were eight years old, so they're pretty connected up to Shiloh Bible Camp in Donnelly.
[00:14:56] Jenny: And a friend of theirs was getting married, and it was at the camp, and so they were driving up for the wedding. And I'm like, "There are new camp directors. You need to take them these flowers. She's a young mom who just had a baby and has a toddler. She needs flowers." And she w- my oldest daughter was so mad she was gonna have to babysit these flowers all the way up, but they made it.
[00:15:17] Jenny: So I was thankful that she took them up, made it through the wedding, kept them in the car out of the heat, and was able to give them
[00:15:26] Deanna: I think this is such a nor- I, I feel like this is the normalizing conversation as parents, right? Like, it isn't necessarily always sun- sunshine and rainbows and easy to help our kids l- learn these, like, really big, hard lessons of what does that look like to put ourselves over and over again in this place of discomfort to build connections.
[00:15:51] Deanna: It was interesting, I was just having this conversation with somebody the other day. I can't remember where I heard the statistic, but I think it's something like seven seconds or 70 seconds, I'm gonna have to go look it up, of... But basically that we have to kind of sit in this just awkwardness when we are starting a conversation with somebody new.
[00:16:07] Deanna: And then it gets, but it gets easier and easier. It's like this muscle that we build for, like, knowing, I don't know what if it's like, like you just know like, "Oh, it's okay. I can sit in that kind of weird, awkward, like, they're gonna think I'm weird, or I won't know what to say," kind of moments.
[00:16:24] Deanna: Because on the other side of that, there's gonna be this really cool, connection or interaction. But to help them just have the opportunity to do it over and over again, even if it's not necessarily, like, easy or something they navigate towards on their own, it's just, it's normalizing. 'Cause I will admit, sometimes I have thought with my kids, like, "Should this be easier?"
[00:16:48] Deanna: Like, should we be past the season of where I have to say like, "No, we really are gonna go share flowers, and it really is gonna impact people." But then like you said, then you see these little seeds, planted in your kids' lives and,
[00:17:01] Jenny: so hard to step outside yourself. It-- And I recognize that. I don't know where I land on the scale of introvertedness and extroverted. I feel like I'm both, but I really enjoy being home, and I recognize how hard it is to push yourself to show up for others sometimes. So giving them those flowers and seeing that hesitation, I know they're having that internal struggle of going, "Okay, I have to."
[00:17:29] Jenny: And I'm like, "Yes, you have to." But it's been a beautiful way. With homeschooling, I feel like I'm always trying to trick my kids into learning. Any way I can get them to learn something that doesn't feel like a textbook and rote work is, like, a win for me. So being able to give them flowers and kind of push them out the door and go, "Go show up for others.
[00:17:50] Jenny: This is a way you can serve. And I've done all the work for you. You literally just have to hand them to them and say, 'These are for you.'"
[00:17:56] Deanna: Mm-hmm.
[00:17:58] Jenny: it's been beautiful. And I hope someday when they are mothers that they will look back and see the gift in it, because I'm like, "Girls, how cool is it to be the person that shows up with the beautiful bouquets every time?"
[00:18:10] Jenny: It feels pretty good.
[00:18:11] Deanna: Mm-hmm. It's a co- it's a conversation my husband and I have too. It's like, do I anticipate all three of our, sons are gonna run out the moment they graduate and plant a flower garden because they know it's gonna be, a place that tends their wellness, their mental health, that I don't think any... I c- I could not say to you right now that yeah, they lo- they're passionate about flowers, they love flowers. Like nope, definitely not. Like mountain bikes maybe, yeah. Rock climbing, yep. But like flowers, nope, that's not where they're, that's not in their season. But I listened to this story a gentleman, he was on a friend's podcast recently, and he was sharing about how his mom would make him garden with her, and he thought it was drudgery, as a young boy, as a teenage boy.
[00:18:54] Deanna: Like, "Okay, fine." And she was always gifting flowers. A- and now he finds tremendous joy in gardening and sharing flowers himself. And so, will they necessarily have a direct path that like brings them back to this thing that we love that's helped us and allows us to help our community?
[00:19:14] Deanna: Maybe not. But bigger than that, I think it's planted these seeds of I can see a need in my community, and there's something I can do. And for me, there was just this full circle moment with my oldest. He would've been... wasn't driving. I have feel like I could do that, like was this before or after driving?
[00:19:32] Deanna: It was before driving. We were sitting at a local coffee shop kind of plotting out his summer 4H projects and like getting all the notes of things that we needed to do. So it was just him and I. And he just like got up mid-conversation and walked away. And as a mom, I had that moment of like, "What in the world?"
[00:19:50] Deanna: Like, "We were just talking."
[00:19:51] Jenny: How dare you?
[00:19:52] Deanna: And I look over, and he'd walked over to this older gentleman with a cane and, Veterans of Foreign War hat on, just that a- that age and era life experience. And he had his coffee cup and his cane and his keys, and he was having a hard time juggling them all and, getting his door open and getting in.
[00:20:14] Deanna: And Eli had seen it and like jumped up to offer to help. And in that moment, I just wondered like, has this, season of helping them see people and see their needs and then do something about it, like has this helped equip him to see needs and feel comfortable in the awkwardness of, like that will they be offended if I'm offering to help, will they tell me to get away, like to just sit in that awkwardness just for a little bit, long enough to be able to make a connection.
[00:20:46] Deanna: And the gentleman was, graciously accepted his help and thanked him. And it was just this sweet little moment of connection. But I do like sometimes still wonder, like were those seeds that we planted in getting out in our community a- and gi- you know, repeatedly getting uncomfortable with meeting people and having to walk up to people and having to recognize people in their need.
[00:21:09] Deanna: For us, like a lot of that was long-term care residents. But like, did that like prepare him for the, that moment in that day? I don't know. I don't know, but I can like hope that's what it is, and I can hope that's the seed that's gonna like... The kind of fruit that's gonna keep coming from that, those seeds
[00:21:27] Deanna: that we
[00:21:27] Jenny: and then the-- you get those moments. God gives you a little glimpse of it, and you go, "Oh, thank you. I am doing something right."
[00:21:35] Deanna: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I think as parents we really hold onto that tightly, right? Like, because we don't get to see the outcomes necessarily until they're young adults or parents themselves or, citizens in, and established in their own communities. And so it's that, like, trust that, okay, you get these little glimmers.
[00:21:54] Deanna: Like, okay this does matter. This does help. And yeah I just love that picture of you in the morning sending your kids out the door, flowers in hand, and just not only the ripples of impact and kindness that's spreading in your community that day with those bouquets, but the seeds that's planting in your kids' life that could grow and ripple in ways that we may never know.
[00:22:18] Deanna: So,
[00:22:19] Jenny: I hope someday that my children have a garden because I can't get any of them outside to come work in the yard with me. They are not fans of the garden, and I am like, "I don't know. I'm raising you surrounded in flowers," but they view it as chores. And so I'm like,
[00:22:38] Deanna: Yep. I wonder how much of it... Yeah, I think about, oh, is it the gentleman's name's Dr. Jan. I wonder, like his story actually has just been really encouraging to me to think about that, that component of like he hated it. It was drudgery when he was a teenager. Like, "Why are we doing this? We could just plant grass and mow it and be done."
[00:22:54] Deanna: And then it ultimately becoming something that was a place of joy and creativity, later on. And I don't know, sometimes I think about I, I don't know at what point I read this as a parent, but that kids who see their parents eat a lot of vegetables are more likely to eat vegetables, even if they're not, like consuming, like whole portions or, that's their choice.
[00:23:15] Deanna: So it's like maybe it's the same, like if they see us, and actually, I think it was last, our last episode's podcast guest, Dr. Barb, her kids are young adults now. And so I asked her like, "How do you raise kind kids?" And she said, "I think it's them watching you in the ways that you are taking action in your community, and the ways that you are walking that walk."
[00:23:40] Deanna: And I think really in parenting, doesn't it really kind of boil down to that anyways, is that we model for them and we show them, and then hopefully that sticks
[00:23:50] Jenny: Yeah. I listened to it last night, and I loved what she said about her daughter wrapping presents and putting all the care into them to make them unique and special. And I was like, "Oh," it just fills my heart to hear that because that is a gift to raise children and then get to see parts of yourself in them and go, "Oh, those were the good parts of me,
[00:24:12] Deanna: Mm-hmm.
[00:24:13] Jenny: they're in you."
[00:24:14] Deanna: Mm-hmm. It's beautiful. So your garden has been this place of seed sowing, really, in your children's lives. And then it's also re-created all these open doors in your community, or I don't know, I shouldn't say it's created open doors, but you've used it as an opportunity to open doors in your community.
[00:24:35] Deanna: And you and I were both just sharing, we're both in our mid-40s, and you're kind of navigating... we're navigating through this kind of new season of both motherhood and also just being a human being in these years and all that comes with them. So I'd love to hear more about, I'm gonna... I mean, I don't wanna like, I wanna look down and went and this is where I'm gonna pause.
[00:24:58] Deanna: Sorry. Ja- Jan Lee can help me edit this part out. I would love to hear more about the We Do Not Care Club because everybody, I think, who's in our age bracket that just, I think that can really resonate with a lot of people listening right now
[00:25:14] Jenny: Yes. I'm 43. I have had little hints that I'm entering into perimenopause or I'm in it. I think I've been in it for a while, but I have had so many symptoms that I don't... my skin's broke out like a teenager. I've got-- I've just battled through frozen shoulder. I'm in physical therapy right now because I know my hormones are just all over the place.
[00:25:39] Jenny: And I found the We Do Not Care Club on Instagram. The cow's name is Melanie, and she makes such hilarious videos about things we do not care about now that we're in middle age. And if there is anything that resonates with me, it is her videos. They are hilarious. And I joined Growing Kindness, and really, it has challenged me to find new ways to give out flowers.
[00:26:06] Jenny: And once I saw those videos, I was like, "Oh, perfect. We're gonna have a We Do Not Care Club in the garden."
[00:26:12] Deanna: I love it
[00:26:15] Jenny: I made a video, and I look like I look, rolled out of bed, my hair is a mess, there's no makeup on, and I just said, "The We Do Not Care Club's meeting in the garden."
[00:26:26] Jenny: And I used a voiceover from one of her videos. It's so funny. It was fun to make. And I opened up my garden twice a week. I made a morning window and an evening window, hoping that people would be able to drop in when they could. And it was a challenge to me to be consistent, honestly. It's something I've struggled with my whole life.
[00:26:50] Deanna: I'm nodding in re- full, I'm with you. I hear
[00:26:53] Jenny: am sure I'm all kinds of undiagnosed, all kinds of things. But I was like, "I'm gonna do this and commit to this. All I have to do is show up in my garden. That's really all I have to do is make myself available from this time." And so I opened up my garden for anyone that's going through perimenopause to come drop in and not care with me and cut flowers. And so, I advertised it every week. And this is the funniest part. I would have people message me and go, "Oh my gosh, I love this. I love this so much. I wanna come. I wanna come to your event, and I just can't this week, but I want to." And every week I would get a million messages, and then guess who would show up?
[00:27:33] Jenny: I would get one person every time. I kind of pictured when this started it would be, like, me and a dozen other women walking through the garden and cutting flowers and talking or not talking. Doesn't matter.
[00:27:47] Deanna: Whatever people needed in that moment. Like, I need connection or I need comradery in, like, what we're all going through together,
[00:27:54] Jenny: Yeah, and so
[00:27:54] Deanna: leave me alone in the quiet
[00:27:58] Jenny: yeah, and I'm like, what better place for some little self-care than to come in a garden and pick flowers? And so the first week, no one came, and I was like, "Oh, no one came to the We Do Not Care Club." I was kinda sad about it.
[00:28:12] Deanna: We don't care.
[00:28:13] Jenny: I guess we don't care. So I just thought, "Well, God, you know what it is.
[00:28:19] Jenny: You know what it needs to be, and you will bring the people." And every single week, one person came, and I was able to visit with one person, but they would bring buckets and vases, and they would br- take home enough flowers to make five or 10 arrangements. And they would tell me as they were cutting flowers, "I'm gonna give this to my mother-in-law who's sick.
[00:28:41] Jenny: I'm giving this to my friend at church who has a birthday. I'm giving this to so and so. This is for me. This one's for my daughter. This one's for..." It... the list was on and on. So out of the one person that came every week, the flowers went out to many people. And I thought, "Oh, I'm so happy they get to not only enjoy the flowers, enjoy the process of coming and picking and..."
[00:29:05] Jenny: Like, I work really hard in my garden, and it's beautiful, but I don't realize just how beautiful it is, 'cause all I see are the weeds and the, like, the broken drip irrigation and all the tools and stuff sitting around and my mess. Other people come to my garden, and they love everything about it. They walk around, and they ask me the name of every flower, and, they're oohing and aahing over everything, and I'm just like, "Wow." Like, people should see this, I guess. They really like it.
[00:29:36] Deanna: It's such a reminder to show up as we are, right? I mean, and in that vein, like Melanie's, theme of like we do not care. Like, it really is about I'm just not gonna put on pretenses anymore. Like, I'm not gonna worry about, pretending things are a certain way when they're not.
[00:29:54] Deanna: Just show up, and I think that we forget that the power, the beauty that's there that we're forgetting to see but also the power that there is in just inviting people into our spaces as they are and into our lives, as they are with the, messy weedy garden or the messy hair or the what- whatever the reality is that nobody really tends to see that.
[00:30:17] Deanna: They see the beauty and it's a really good reminder to us, I think, of how we even get to show up in the world, is just people aren't seeing the things that we would like to change or improve. Like, they're seeing the things that are already growing and beautiful that we actually, I think, oftentimes because they're common for us, we see them every day, we forget to truly see them.
[00:30:42] Deanna: And I agree with you. I think there's something so inspiring about inviting people into your garden because they kind of... It's watching... you get to watch through somebody else's eyes. You start to see the beauty in new ways again, and it's there. It's been there all along. We just are so caught up with the weeds or the piles that we're missing the beauty right in front of us.
[00:31:05] Deanna: But so I would like... I think I wanna just go, like, off record on this. So as we're editing, we'll just go off record with this little section. But I would love to encourage you. I would wonder what would happen if you extend personal invites and you just reach out to, like, a handful of people who maybe you know.
[00:31:22] Deanna: Like, if it... You want it to be, like, stay in that perimenopause, menopause age g- bracket and say, "Will you come? Will you bring a friend at this time?" And then see if... 'Cause sometimes it's like you gotta kinda like fill the room the first time, I think, whenever we're doing that, and I really feel like social media has been hit-and-miss on these invites as well.
[00:31:45] Deanna: So, like, I did the big dahlia giveaway. I had hundreds of dahlias left over. It's like things... I don't know why. I think maybe there's some, like, question about when things are given away free, and there's that, like, social media invite. Like, oh, there's gonna be a catch, or it just doesn't feel personal, like it's
[00:32:08] Jenny: Yeah, they go, "It's not for me. It's for other people, but not me." I had a neighbor that would come-- She would message me. I'd have the We Do Not Care Club going, and she'd say, "I really wanna come over, but I don't wanna take away from
[00:32:22] Deanna: Oh,
[00:32:22] Jenny: who's meant to come." And I'm like, "You are the We Do Not Care Club.
[00:32:26] Deanna: Yeah. I wonder what would happen if this year... 'Cause I'm like, I really wanna cheer you on in this. Like, I c- I can see I... And this is where I'm at, too. I'm like, I just wanna use my garden to gather people. But what I'm wondering is, a- and this is me, like, trial and error, same with you. Like, I think I had mentioned I got invited to this garden party yesterday, and it was lovely, but it was a direct and personal invitation.
[00:32:47] Deanna: Like, "Will you come? I want you to come and be a part of this at this time and this day." And there's something that instantly, I think, connects with that sense of being inclu- for me, anyways, like, that's my deepest strength and deepest weakness is, like, being included, so being excluded is, like, really hard for me.
[00:33:04] Deanna: So when people are like, "I want you to be here," I'm like, "Oh, okay. Okay." It feels different, I think, than, like, a group invite. So I wonder what would happen if you just tried it and just said, I'm gonna put out, like, 10 or 20 invites. Or maybe, like, put out 10 invites and ask everybody, like, bring someone who you know that would need this with you.
[00:33:25] Jenny: Yeah. I w- I was hoping it would become, I wanted it to become a rhythm that someone could expect to come every week and pick their flowers. But I like the idea of having a friend come too, because then they can make it a date,
[00:33:40] Deanna: Well, and I wonder if it started out like that. 'Cause usually what happens, I don't know if you find this too, as soon as you get people in the garden, they're like, "This was amazing." And you're like, "Great, you can come back and join me again." Like, I wanna make this a regular thing. Like, maybe it would just take f- kind of filling, like filling the room, so to speak.
[00:33:56] Deanna: Like, maybe the first one or two, and then especially once people start finding out about it and like, "Hey, I want you to bring a friend." And then you tell that friend, "Hey, next time I want you to bring a friend." Like, who do you know in your life that needs this? Maybe it would be like a more organic, growth.
[00:34:13] Deanna: Again, like social media, it's an interesting place. Like, the things that we think, like, "Oh, people will hear this here and
[00:34:19] Jenny: Why would they not wanna come?
[00:34:21] Deanna: Yeah, but I wonder if it's more of that like, "Oh, I'm not sure if this is for me, actually." Like your neighbor, like, "Oh, I don't wanna take up space." Or
[00:34:28] Jenny: I had another
[00:34:29] Deanna: "Is this actually for me?"
[00:34:31] Deanna: Yeah.
[00:34:32] Jenny: another gal messaged and it was the same thing. It was, "I really wanna come, but I don't wanna be around a bunch of people."
[00:34:38] Deanna: Oh, interesting. Well, I wonder if that could be
[00:34:40] Jenny: me."
[00:34:41] Deanna: Yeah. I wonder if that could be, like, even s- separate from, like ... Or maybe it is. Maybe it's an invitation, like, come and just enjoy the solitude. Well, I guess it's not solitude, but, like, come enjoy the garden at your own pace or come and connect with friends, like-
[00:34:57] Jenny: I had this idea, I've had this idea for a couple years now. And our back fence, we live in a subdivision, but my garden is actually not on my land. There is a school behind me that owns 20 acres, and they've never developed it. It's just been a bare field. And we have those big, giant power lines that have the big metal brackets.
[00:35:19] Deanna: Mm-hmm.
[00:35:19] Jenny: They're really high up that you cannot build under them. There
[00:35:22] Deanna: But you can plant, you can put... In most pla- like a lot of places, obviously not a subdivision, like you can put animals out there, you can plant out there.
[00:35:29] Jenny: Yeah. And so we started with just maintaining the weeds behind our house because the thistle was coming through the fence into our lawn. And so my husband started, like, spraying back there, and I'm like, "Well, if we're taking care of it, I should put some sunflowers along the fence, because why not?" And then I was like, "Well, shoot, if I have sunflowers back here, I could put two more rows of perennials to start a cutting garden."
[00:35:53] Jenny: And then my husband's like, whoa. Before you start putting in drip irrigation, you need to have permission." And I was so nervous to ask the school if I could plant on their land, because I'm like, that is a big ask.
[00:36:08] Deanna: Yeah
[00:36:08] Jenny: someone to use their land for free. And I sat on it for probably two weeks, like, "Oh, I don't know."
[00:36:15] Jenny: And then I decided, okay, I'm just gonna do it. And so I sent an email to the principal, and I worded it very carefully. "This is my name. This is where I live. We've been taking care of the land back here to keep the weeds down, but we would really love to put in flowers. Is this okay? Could we have permission?"
[00:36:35] Jenny: And I sent the email just going, "Oh, whoa, what's gonna happen?" Five minutes later, she emailed back, "Plant all the flowers." And oh.
[00:36:48] Deanna: So that's where your garden
[00:36:50] Jenny: That is where my garden is
[00:36:51] Deanna: cutting garden. So you have hundreds of da- how, what,
[00:36:54] Jenny: oh my gosh. This year, I have four rows of dahlias, which that was on purpose to limit myself because I just have an intense personality, and one turns into 50 turns into 100. And so I've grown about 300 the last couple years. But this winter was the winter of purchases. I purchased so many tubers over the winter, and that's what winter does.
[00:37:21] Jenny: You can't garden, so you're inside shopping online. And I have 500 tubers in the ground right now.
[00:37:28] Deanna: You are have, gonna have a lot of flowers this year. That's exciting. And so but they're growing on
[00:37:34] Jenny: They're growing on the school's land behind us under these power lines, and it's funny because when it rains, when there's humidity in the air, the power lines buzz. It's kind of freaky,
[00:37:48] Deanna: Oh, you know what's funny?
[00:37:49] Jenny: yeah
[00:37:50] Deanna: I- so I live in the Pacific Northwest. Well, I mean, we're both in the Pacific Northwest, but I think you're drier,
[00:37:54] Jenny: super dry
[00:37:55] Deanna: you're super dry. So we're not. I'm, like, right by the Puget Sound, so we're high humidity all the time. I just assume that's what the power lines always did because we're always such high humidity in the air.
[00:38:05] Deanna: But what I think is really cool about this story about your garden is, again, this, like, common thread of, like, it's okay to get a little bit uncomfortable. Like, just, like, planting that seed in your kid's life, like, just take the flowers, take that moment of, like, kind of being uncomfortable and hard and trying this new thing.
[00:38:23] Deanna: But you're do- you did that even to start your garden, is just like, "I'm just gonna, like, take a chance and be in this kind of uncomfortable, ask and conversation and put it out there," and then look what's unfolded because of that. So the school probably loves it 'cause they have this beautiful view of all these blooms now.
[00:38:41] Jenny: Well, I don't know that the maintenance guy loves it because they've had to work around weeds and spraying, and they had to start a new protocol. But I know the moms love it because I get to see all the moms that are walking their kids to school during the week, and all the people... Our subdivision since this field is behind it, on the other side of the field is another subdivision.
[00:39:05] Jenny: And so we just have this little pocket of land, and there's a lot of foot traffic and dog walkers. So I have been able to meet so many neighbors
[00:39:13] Jenny: And people that live across the way just by having the garden, and I'm outside all the time, so. I just had a lady last night whose dog was lost, and she w- came to me asking if I'd seen it.
[00:39:25] Jenny: And so I have met people that way, too. Just being outside, you meet your neighbors
[00:39:30] Deanna: Isn't that, there's such a, there's so many impacts in our life that I f- feel like we don't even sometimes c- quantify or qualify. Like, just being out in our garden, like what it does for our mental health, what it does for our physical wellbeing. But then this also, this really cool impact of what it does for our connections.
[00:39:49] Deanna: Like you said, and you're not the first person I've heard who has suddenly meeting neighbors in their community because people are stopping to ask about flowers or because they just see them out in the garden all the time. I think especially in that kind of subdivision neighborhood environment where your neighbors are close by and you get to see, you actually get to see and meet your neighbors just by being outside engaged in your garden.
[00:40:13] Deanna: So it's just another just really cool way to open the doors to community and connection.
[00:40:18] Jenny: Yes
[00:40:19] Deanna: So cool. I didn't realize that about your garden. That's a really
[00:40:22] Jenny: Yeah. I'd always-- I grew up on acreage when I was a kid, and then when I was a teenager, my parents homesteaded 20 acres of forest behind Bogus Basin, which is the ski resort above Boise. And so I spent my teen years in the mountains. It was so beautiful, and land has always been part of my life.
[00:40:43] Jenny: And so I just assumed when I got married and when we had a house, we would have land, and that would just be how we did it. And with Idaho, the population just skyrocketing over the past few years, that dream became so shattered. And I really struggled for cont- with contentment for years, going, "God, you know this is a desire of my heart, but it's impossible at this point, and feels really hard.
[00:41:14] Jenny: I have big dreams. And this sucks. I live in a subdivision." And then I-- my garden grew, and it expanded out, and now I look at it and go, "God, you've given me the desire of my heart in ways I could not have even... I couldn't have planned that or thought that."
[00:41:34] Deanna: Mm-hmm. And then beyond, and beyond that, that if you were on acreage, and your dis- neighbors were further removed from you, you would have a beautiful flower garden, but you wouldn't be having these connections and conversations that you're having now with your flower garden being as it is in a subdivision
[00:41:54] Jenny: Yeah, and my husband's like, "Honey, I wanna go fishing. I like to vacation. If we had land, we would be tied to it. Like, you can't leave. You have to take care of it all the time." And I'm like, "You're right." So it's slowly-- I'm so thankful for this garden because it's given me... If I had land, that's what I would do, make a big flower garden.
[00:42:14] Jenny: And so I'm able to have that and share it, and I could not have written it. It's incredible. And it gets even better. The school that owns the land, a s- a church rented it and planted a church on that-- in that school. And we started going there, and we've been members of that church now for seven years and teaching kids ministry.
[00:42:37] Jenny: And so I look at it and go, "Wow, God gave me a garden and a church community on the land, piece of land." So it's just incredible
[00:42:48] Deanna: It's, I think often how, what we perceive as our limitations, like within those limitations is actually limitless possibility if we just can lean into what they are. And I've had lots of experiences like that in my life too where I felt like this isn't what I wanted or I want something more. And then when we l- learn to just really see the potential and possibility within what our reality is, it ends up just unfolding in the most beautiful but, and like you said, unexpected ways.
[00:43:22] Deanna: Like I n- I never could have planned, that to be the path that I, we would get to, or I'd get to walk. But as soon as we lean in and just trust that like what feels like a limitation right now, if I could look at it as possibility and opportunity, or if I could just trust that there is gonna be possibility and opportunity in this situation, it just changes everything.
[00:43:45] Jenny: It does.
[00:43:46] Deanna: That's so encouraging. Okay. I'm like, "Oh, well there's so many..." Like, I'm excited just to get to share this story 'cause there's so many encouraging nuggets. Wait, I'm just saying that off record, sorry. 'Cause sometimes I jump in and I forget. I'm like, oh yeah I'm talking to you directly, not like podcast recording.
[00:44:02] Deanna: This is I mean, like I feel like this, your story's really cool because number o- like the biggest thing like you and I were talking about earlier, this is off record, is just that common thread of just the things that are ordinary actually have so much power and opportunity, especially when we recognize that we can be content in that situation.
[00:44:21] Deanna: What I wanna pause and check in and say is, are we forgetting important parts of your story that you wanna make sure that we touch like towards the end?
[00:44:34] Jenny: No, I feel like I've said all the things.
[00:44:36] Deanna: I know. It feels like it's flowed really, like, like, from story to story really just naturally. I love that. Again, that's 'cause that's- it's- it's like a conversation and that's how... But it's a conversation and yet there is this, like, natural storytelling unfolding. Like in the beginning and in the middle and, like now, how it's going.
[00:44:53] Deanna: So, what I would love to do then is probably just kind of lead us out into our exit question. So I think I'll do that next. Okay. Jenny, your story is a beautiful reminder to us all of the threads of connection that can be woven into our lives. And what I'm seeing just repeated, and I know I just said this, but, like, we're seeing this repeated is this when we step into that place of, like, a little bit of discomfort, to try something new, to meet somebody new, to do something where we're not sure what the outcome is going to be, like, that's when the doors really open.
[00:45:28] Deanna: Like, that's when the connections really unfold and it's really cool to see the way that you've stepped into those places of learning new things and making new connections and, asking hard questions and the doors that it's opened up in your life. And then because of that, the opportunities that have unfolded for conversations and connections and community in such beautiful ways and then to be modeling that for your kids.
[00:45:54] Deanna: I I'm walking away as a mom feeling really inspired by this conversation with you and just that reminder that we just keep modeling kindness and we keep planting those seeds in our kids' lives and they're going to grow in ways that we can't know. So I am very inspired by this conversation with us here today.
[00:46:15] Deanna: We always love to end... I'm gonna pause 'cause I also keep doing this. I'm like, I like to talk to myself like we're two people. We're not. I always love to end with a question that I think reminds us all just that there really is no such thing as a small act of kindness. What is one small act of kindness that someone once shared with you that you still carry in your heart today?
[00:46:37] Jenny: Oh, I thought about this when you told me the question ahead of time, and every time it circled back to the same moment. And I was a young mother. I had a four-year-old and a toddler, and I was just overwhelmed in motherhood. We were starting to begin homeschool, and my oldest daughter was such a social butterfly.
[00:47:00] Jenny: And it was back when the days were long,
[00:47:05] Deanna: Mm-hmm.
[00:47:06] Jenny: she needed friends, and I had spent my years indoors with babies. I didn't have friends really. I was like, "I gotta find friends for my daughter." And so I started looking in our Facebook groups online to find a VBS for her. I thought, "Let's get her out. Let's like do VBS.
[00:47:26] Jenny: Those are fun. I gotta find a place." And so I found in our Facebook group for homeschooling moms in the area a church that was offering one, and I signed her up, and I was looking forward to that. And then the gal who had-- who was hosting it at their church, she messaged me personally and said, "We're having a park day.
[00:47:47] Jenny: Why don't you come to that? It's next week." And so I came to the park day to meet her and a bunch of people I didn't know, and it ended up being my best friend for over a decade now. She and I just hit it off immediately, and she was a few years further along in homeschooling than I was, so she's, has been a huge place of support for me for all the years I've been schooling.
[00:48:16] Jenny: And so I just think of that one moment, the invite to come to park day, and I can see how it changed the course of everything for me. And friendship for my children, a support system, it's just... That was the best.
[00:48:35] Deanna: I think
[00:48:36] Jenny: Shout out to Andy.
[00:48:37] Deanna: Yeah, no kidding. Oh, man, just like that reminder, I think that, that's, I think maybe that's the message for me going away today from this personally. Here, I'm gonna go ahead and hit stop
