[00:00:00] Deanna: Over the past, I think it's been nine months, 10 months of the podcast, you've gotten to hear some truly inspiring stories, um, people's lives who've been changed by Growing and Giving Flowers. You've gotten to be front seat, um, and hear more of the history of how this organization got started, um, and hear more of my story.
[00:00:21] Deanna: But there is a story that you've never gotten to hear yet, and it's one that I am so excited to get to share with you today. Growing Kindness has been a nonprofit organization for almost seven years now, and an organization for almost eight. And quietly behind the scenes, every step of the way, there has been a person who has helped logistically, emotionally, in every way to bring this mission and organization and community to life, and I get to bring his story to you today.
[00:00:57] Deanna: It's a story that I'm really excited to share. Um, I have my Kleenex piled up beside me because I know I'm probably not gonna get through this without a few tears because Our stories are so intertwined, and we both have such a big heart for this mission. And so today I am really excited to get to introduce you to Shane Kitchen, my husband, who has been along for every part of the ride, but quietly behind the scenes, and his story and his perspective you've never gotten to hear until today.
[00:01:31] Deanna: So welcome to the podcast, Shane.
[00:01:35] Shane: Well, thanks Deanna.
[00:01:37] Deanna: All right. So let's just start out with helping people get to know a little bit about who you are and maybe we'll share a little bit about our, kinda our backstory together and how on earth we ended up landing on founding a nonprofit organization. So let's start out with you telling us a little bit more about you.
[00:02:01] Shane: Yeah. So I grew up over on the Olympic Peninsula, um, a couple hours from where you grew up.
[00:02:07] Deanna: Yep.
[00:02:07] Shane: And we were in the same county, even though there was miles and miles between us. Um, yeah, it was kind of a rural, uh, way of growing up. Grew up on a small cattle farm and, uh, we raised hay and cows and there was, uh, s- five kids and mom and dad, so there were seven of us and, um-
[00:02:31] Deanna: Eight kitchens, right?
[00:02:32] Shane: Yeah, yeah. Eight
[00:02:33] Deanna: kitchens
[00:02:33] Shane: in that- Yeah ... in
[00:02:34] Deanna: that old farmhouse.
[00:02:35] Shane: Yeah. And yeah, so anyhow, my mom and dad still live there and, uh, it was a, it was just a really neat way to grow up. Um, we had horses and got to ride horses and, um, in high school I did kinda jobs that weren't your typical... I mean, for there they were pretty normal, but for I would say your average, uh-
[00:02:58] Deanna: 15, 16-year-old
[00:02:58] Shane: yeah, they weren't. So it was in the summers we'd go around to other farms after we put in our own hay and, and we'd help other farmers hay and then we'd, uh, did some commercial fishing and did some land clearing. And, um, in fact my, both my brothers live on some of the property that we spent our teenage years clearing and grading and so yeah, they were able to build their houses there and, um, so they still live there right across the road from the farm.
[00:03:32] Shane: So that kind of led me into a career path of construction. And so I, about a year, or about a year, a week after I graduated, I loaded up and headed off and, um, I had a A big goal, and that was that I wanted to marry my high school sweetheart, which was you. And in order to do that, I had this idea in my head that I had to have a house.
[00:04:00] Shane: And so I wasted no time. I graduated from Chimacum High School, and oh, there was probably like 40-some kids in the class, very small school, and headed off to the big city and got a job in construction and bought our first house and asked you to marry me, and just a lot happened between 18 and 20 years old, so.
[00:04:22] Deanna: We were not, we were not typical 18 and 19 and 20-year-olds by any long shot. But yeah, I, I, um
[00:04:38] Deanna: So kind of part of, I guess, I guess your... You know, you mentioned we grew up in the same county, which is how our stories came together. And honestly, we laugh 'cause we're like, "I don't know if it gets much country-er than this." Um, but we actually, because we were in the same county, even though we were, like, two and a half hours apart- Mm-hmm
[00:04:58] Deanna: I think, um, we ended up showing animals at the same county fair. So like Shane said, they raised Black Angus cattle, so Shane... We showed sheep too for a while, so sheep and cattle. And then I, um, was absolutely horse obsessed, so I had a horse that I showed at the county fair. And so that is actually where, in a very roundabout way, where Growing Kindness kinda started, because that's where our story started, and our story's kinda the beginning of it in a way.
[00:05:28] Deanna: But yeah, so we were at the county fair. I was showing horses. He was showing cows. We both actually had, like, a crush on each other, but neither of us had the guts to actually, like, have a conversation. So, oh, I think it was a couple days into the fair when you had figured out that my little brother was also showing a cow in the cow barn.
[00:05:55] Deanna: And pretty quickly, my little brother Danny had a new best friend who was buying him ice cream and taking him on rides and teaching him how to rope. Um, and so that was kind of actually... Like, you actually literally roped me with a rope. So, 'cause you and, you were teaching Danny how to rope. And I remember I would walk by with a group of girls, and I remember you kind of e- egging Danny on, like, "You should rope her."
[00:06:25] Deanna: And so he tried to heel my foot and he missed, and then you literally roped me. And then of course you have to get the rope back, so, like, that started a conversation. So that is actually the, the beginning of our, our story. Um, but yeah, so then-
[00:06:43] Shane: Yeah. It was the beginning of our dating story.
[00:06:44] Deanna: Or the beginning of our dating story.
[00:06:46] Deanna: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:06:47] Shane: We'd met a few years earlier and, um, at that time I think we were, like, 15 years old, and that was a point in my life, like, you know, 15 year old, definitely not thinking about marriage. I, at that point in my life I thought that I wanted to be a, a bull rider and ride the rodeo circuit. And, uh, I met, I met you that night in the parking lot, and it was kinda weird 'cause when me and my buddy drove away I thought- Man, if I ever get married, I think I wanna marry that gal.
[00:07:20] Shane: And I, it's just cra- like, people might think I'm making that up. That's, I mean, it's just what it was. It was like, I don't know what it was, and then it was a couple years later, and then we finally- That you roped
[00:07:32] Deanna: me-
[00:07:33] Shane: Yeah ... at the
[00:07:33] Deanna: county
[00:07:33] Shane: fair. Yeah. Yeah. So-
[00:07:35] Deanna: Yeah. No, I can remember, um, I, it took me a while to actually even register that you did actually like me and were i- interested, because I thought you were out of my league, which is funny, 'cause then come to find out later on-
[00:07:49] Shane: Oh, you were out of my league, for sure.
[00:07:51] Shane: There was no way you'd be interested in me.
[00:07:53] Deanna: But so then, um, like after the roping incident, you'd invited me. This, like, you got... Like, this is as, this is as country as it gets. So Shane had invited me. Um, he'd bought pit tickets, wait for it, for the mud bogs, which was, like, four-wheel-drive trucks rallying in mud in the middle of the arena at the county fair.
[00:08:17] Deanna: So pit tickets were more expensive than, like, the regular tickets, and so he had... It was a l- night before the last day of the fair, and you'd bought them, and you asked, you invited me, you wanted, if I wanted to sit with you. But I couldn't, because I had barn duty, so I had to be, like, back at the horse barn at a certain time, like, right in the middle of it.
[00:08:36] Deanna: And that was when I clued in that, like, you actually kinda like me, because you forfeit- forfeited the tickets to sit with me.
[00:08:45] Shane: And those were probably $5 a piece tickets, so I probably walked away from $10 to hang out with you and a bunch of- Which hit ... little girls and some puppies.
[00:08:55] Deanna: Which that was the, yeah, that was...
[00:08:58] Deanna: Okay, now you have to explain that part of the story.
[00:09:00] Shane: Yeah, so Deanna, um-
[00:09:05] Shane: She, sh- I mean, you've always loved, um, kids. I mean, you had a- you started out in education.
[00:09:12] Deanna 3: Mm-hmm.
[00:09:13] Shane: It's what you went to college for, and your first few years of our marriage you were a teacher, kindergarten of all things. So yeah, you definitely, definitely like kids, and you always at the fair, you always had a group of young girls around you from the horse barn, and you were a good mentor to them.
[00:09:32] Shane: And I think that actually I was attracted to that also, is just that your, your care for the, the kids in the 4H program and, and trying to teach them the ways. And so, um, one of the kids happened to have a bunch of puppies too- That's right ... to add to the chaos. So I can't remember if it was my truck or somebody else's, but I remember we were just sat there in the back of a pickup- With puppies and kids everywhere
[00:10:01] Shane: with puppies and kids everywhere. And, um, you know, who knows? I might've had a little thought at that time, like, "Yeah, maybe someday we could be married and have kids," you know? I mean, I'd obviously a couple years ago thought if I was to get married, you would be the one, so.
[00:10:15] Deanna: Which I think, I mean, all this, this whole entire story, I guess we are really an anomaly in a lot of ways.
[00:10:22] Deanna: I don't think that there is a lot of people that meet in high school and fall in love and actually are compatible in the way that we have been. But yeah, that was, that was the beginning of our story. So we both kinda came from these, like, rural roots and just deep, in communities where connection was just such a part of, of the community.
[00:10:50] Deanna: I mean, it was the fiber of the community. But also, I think we both came from families where that was really deeply valued as well. And so that kinda laid the groundwork for us, you know, and the beginning of our story, which again, ultimately was the beginning of the story of Growing Kindness, essentially.
[00:11:09] Deanna: Um, because if it wasn't for us, like, there wouldn't be a Growing Kindness, and I guess that's what I kinda wanna, like, get to highlight a little bit more today because I've gotten to be, I guess more, you could say, like, more the face of the mission and, like, you know, being the, the, the founder. And it wa- I mean, it was, you know, it was in the beginning.
[00:11:34] Deanna: Like, it was this vision and dream and idea that I had, but really it's because it's kind of built on these principles that- And values that we had in starting our life together and our family and our marriage, um, that this just kind of like Growing Kindness was almost like an extension of those things.
[00:11:55] Deanna: Um, and so what I guess I'm really excited to do today is to get to share more of like what that's been like for you, you know, as our story has evolved and this mission has grown. I mean, I c- it's hard, it's wild to think that it's gonna be eight years as an official organization this year. Seven years December, I think it's December 20th, I believe is when we have our seven-year anniversary as a nonprofit.
[00:12:24] Deanna: But, but all of that kind of built on this idea that we both deeply value community and people taking care of each other, and then that's just snowballed into this today.
[00:12:41] Shane: Yeah. Yeah, I would say, I would say that in the last seven, eight years that, um, it has helped to grow that in, in my life, you know, too, is like maybe- Maybe you were a little bit more conscious of that in the, in wanting to be in community and help others and, and, um, and I definitely was on board, but I, I, I know for myself that, um, being a part of this project has definitely, um, helped me to grow in that in, in my own life.
[00:13:21] Deanna: Yeah. Tell... Like, can you talk more about that? Like in what, in what ways do you think either being involved with this becoming an organization, are you thinking about like kind of that perspective or in the, uh, or being involved with Growing and Giving Flowers? Actually, let's split this into two. What ways has Growing and Giving Flowers impacted you and maybe even influenced you or changed, changed you as a person?
[00:13:47] Shane: Well, it's like, for me, giving flowers, um, it just wasn't, it's wasn't something I ever really thought about doing.
[00:13:56] Deanna: Mm-hmm.
[00:13:57] Shane: Um, and I didn't really, I didn't see, I didn't see or think about the impact that it would be on other people.
[00:14:07] Deanna: Mm-hmm.
[00:14:07] Shane: Um, both, I think part of that was, was the impact or the, the positive influence it could be on the person giving, and then the positive effect that that can have on the person receiving.
[00:14:20] Shane: So it kind of is like a two-part deal. It's not just for one side or the other. It, it's like for both sides. And so, um, re- but for me, it just, yeah, it wasn't something I really was aware of the effects that it could have on people.
[00:14:37] Deanna: Mm-hmm.
[00:14:38] Shane: And so it... Watching it and seeing what it's done and, and to people as far as the positive effect it's had on both the, the people giving and the people receiving, um, has, yeah, definitely helped me to, um, to grow in that and, and really step out of my comfort zone and, and be willing to, to, to give and, um, and to give flowers, which is I don't know, especially probably the way I grew up, like that's definitely not, um...
[00:15:21] Shane: I don't know, it, it- I would say, um, I never really was very comfortable giving flowers. I, even when I'd buy you flowers at the store, I didn't really want anybody seeing me walk out with them for some reason. I, 'cause I thought it would make me not look masculine or something. I don't know. But it's been, it's been a cool journey in, in seeing that both men and women enjoy getting flowers and, and I think we see in the organization a lot more
[00:15:55] Shane: Well, for sure we see it's a lot more women- Yeah ... giving. Um, and so I think it's kind ... It's cool that we have all sons, and they've, they've seen it. And, and even though, you know, they're young men, and they sometimes grudgingly go along, and other times they're more into it. But I, I think long term they're gonna look back and, and r- and they're not gonna be, uh, afraid to, to give flowers.
[00:16:23] Shane: I know, like, our oldest son, Eli, I've seen him lots of times put together some really nice arrangements to give to girlfriends and, and girlfriends' moms. But still, like, it's impressive to see an 18-year-old boy go out in the dahlia field and, and cut a bouquet and put it all together, so, um. Yeah, I think a lot of times with kids is you gotta, you gotta realize that you don't always see the effects today.
[00:16:50] Deanna: Yeah.
[00:16:51] Shane: But I think you'll see them-
[00:16:52] Deanna: Yeah ...
[00:16:53] Shane: as life goes on.
[00:16:54] Deanna: I think, um ... I mean, that is, that is actually a huge topic that you kind of opened up, which is I think that there is so much stigma in our culture around that, that you can't be soft and strong, and that, that nurturing people or, or, like, even just flowers in and of themselves are somehow there's exclusivity to women only.
[00:17:30] Deanna: But really, like, like what you've found and what we're seeing with our kids is, like, which honestly, I guess I just wanna say thank you for being willing to, like, step into a place of discomfort to kinda question that stereotype and, like, that attitude around that, like, this isn't manly or this isn't something, you know, that a s- strong man does or whatever, but instead to say that, like, strength is softness.
[00:18:01] Deanna: Like, strength is, is tenderness, like strength is nurturing people and flowers are just, they're a tool that everybody enjoys, men or women alike, you know? Like, so thank you. I gue- I guess I just wanna say thank you for like being willing to
[00:18:26] Deanna: lock in a place of that feeling, like new and hard and maybe uncomfortable at times, but like being willing to challenge that, um, it's really cool to get to watch that, like, growth and change in you. But also as a parent, especially as a mom of young men, to see that, like, you challenge that conversation for them too, and like they're, you know, they...
[00:18:53] Deanna: That's easier for them than it was, it was for you, and I hope, I don't know, something that we've always talked about that we valued as, as parents and always wanted for our kids is that- They, they would n- like understand that s- trai- strength is tenderness, right? Like, strength is caring for people that, and that they would feel empowered, you know?
[00:19:19] Deanna: Like, I, I guess we always talked about we wanted kids who are kind and curious. Like, that they would be willing to be lifelong learners, and that they could step into situations where they would have a heart and an eye to see other people and be willing to respond in, like, whatever ways it is. And I think this, like, opportunity that they've had to get to watch you embrace that and lead in that, like, has had a huge influence on them, so.
[00:19:49] Deanna: Okay, so if you were, if you were talking to, um, the men in the audience, who I think is actually-- I think our audience-
[00:19:58] Shane: Might only be one of you.
[00:20:00] Deanna: I think the audience of the podcast is also predominantly women, which I would love to see that change, wouldn't you? Like, I would love to see... Like, flowers are for everybody, right?
[00:20:10] Deanna: It's interesting 'cause garnering u- growing flowers used to be, like, all the guys did it. Like, at what point did we say, like, flowers are for girls? Like, and, or giving flowers can only be, like, something that girls do. Like, nurturing and caring for people and reaching out to people in that way. Like, what would you say to any guys who are listening today about just, like, the process of being willing to step into that kind of discomfort of, like, reaching out and caring for people by giving flowers?
[00:20:44] Shane: Yeah, I'd just say if you can get past that, and, and by, I mean, I s- still struggle with it at times. I, I think I... Uh, y- you just have, like, a picture of who you think would want flowers maybe. Mm-hmm. And so, um, just one quick story is I remember when we first moved up to the farm that we're at now, and we have a neighbor across the road and, um, he's a man's man, you could say.
[00:21:15] Deanna: He's a- And
[00:21:16] Shane: he wasn't- He's an old fishing captain- Yeah ... and he's a little
[00:21:18] Deanna: salty. Yeah.
[00:21:19] Shane: Yeah, a little salty. And, and, uh, he wouldn't really wave at us or anything, and, um, Deanna, you picked a bouquet of dahlias and headed off across there, and I thought, "Wow- This, like, I just, uh, the nerve to go do that was beyond what I could do.
[00:21:40] Shane: Like, that's the thing is like, you know, I might think I'm a kind of a tough guy, but there was no way I was gonna pick a bouquet of flowers and go across the field and give them to the neighbor. And, um, you did, and turns out he grows dahlias. And ever since then, like, we have a great relationship with him, and now we wave at each other, and we've had-
[00:22:02] Deanna: They were at
[00:22:02] Shane: our house for dinner last night
[00:22:03] Shane: yeah, I mean, it's just, like, I mean, I did not see that coming. So yeah, I would say, um, yeah, be willing to step out of your comfort zone and realize... I mean, you'll realize that, that, that people appreciate it, and, and it maybe isn't always the person that you think. I think in my mind it's always giving a nice old lady some flowers.
[00:22:29] Shane: You know, like, that's who's gonna want flowers. But w- I've seen time and time again men that really appreciated flowers and, um, and in the long term care centers, like, it opens the door to conversation and, and, you know, the generation, uh, that's there now is a tough generation, and they have a lot of good stories.
[00:22:56] Shane: And so you can, yeah, if you got the time, it's, it's always worth it. Yeah. So, and you can learn a lot, so. Sometimes. I would say be willing to step out of your comfort zone.
[00:23:09] Deanna: Have you ever had any experience where it wasn't worth it, or has it been worth it every time?
[00:23:13] Shane: No, I haven't, actually.
[00:23:15] Deanna: Do you feel like, would you say it gets easier and easier, like the process of giving flowers or even the process of approaching strangers?
[00:23:23] Deanna: It's been really cool for me to get to kind of witness the ways that, like, you'll come home and share a story of something that happened in a Costco parking lot or something that happened at the gas station, of ways that I, I get to see you stepping into that, like, place of discomfort, of, like, reaching out to help people.
[00:23:45] Deanna: But would you say it gets easier and easier the more you practice it?
[00:23:50] Shane: Yeah. So in, in full honesty, like, the stepping out to help people, that has gotten way easier. Like, I'm totally comfortable with seeing a need and helping, um, or asking, "Do you need help?" You know? And, and, but as far as giving flowers, I'd still say I always want you, I always want you there when I'm giving flowers.
[00:24:14] Shane: Uh- So yeah, I, I don't know why that is, and I'm sure someday I'll, I'll get beyond that, but, um-
[00:24:24] Deanna: Maybe it's like everything else, like, you know how they say that there's, like, a n- a number of, like, minutes that you have to have practiced something to reach mastery? Maybe there's this number of bouquets you have to give, Shane, to where it'll be like- Yeah
[00:24:37] Deanna: where you don't have to p- like, have that pause and think about it. Which actually, if I'm being fully honest and transparent, I still have to pause and get past that little moment of like, "Are they gonna want these? Are they gonna think I'm a weirdo? Am I gonna make them uncomfortable?" Which I guess that's probably the power of flowers, is it disarms all of that, you know, in the moment that you hold them out.
[00:24:57] Deanna: Like, I think people instantly see the, the care and the intention, but it's still, even ... I should say even for me, and I've given hundreds and hundreds of bouquets of flowers. Like, even for me, I still have a moment where I have to kinda, like, push past that- Yeah ... little bit of discomfort.
[00:25:14] Shane: I, yeah, it, I kinda laugh 'cause, like, I kinda hide behind I kinda try to hide behind you, even though-
[00:25:22] Shane: I can't because I'm bigger than you are. But even just, uh, I think it was last weekend or maybe the weekend before, but we were down in this little community and, um, Deanna, you picked, you brought flowers down and we pull in and you're like, "I wanna go over to that house over there. I think those people live there full time and I wanna give them these flowers."
[00:25:45] Shane: And I'm like You know, 'cause even now I'm still kinda like, "Oh, what if they don't want them? What, like what if they think we're weirdos or whatever?" And so we... But I head over there with you and, and in, in true Shane fashion, I'm trying to sort of look like I'm going with you but not going with you, um, like ready to split and run the other way-
[00:26:08] Shane: if need be. And, and so we walk up to the house, and I'm kinda hanging back enough that if it doesn't go well, I can just sorta duck behind a rhododendron and get the heck out of there. And-
[00:26:19] Deanna: You wouldn't really, though.
[00:26:20] Shane: No, I wouldn't. But still, like, it's kinda like that. I'm here, but I'm not here. And then the lady of the home was...
[00:26:29] Shane: She came out. Of course, at first it's kinda like, "Oh." And you, and you hand her the flowers and say, "These are for you." I... And, like, instantly the smile on her face and the, "Come on in," you know. And we go in their house and meet her husband and have a nice conversation. And so yeah, it just, it opens doors, for sure.
[00:26:52] Deanna: Like o- literally, literally- Yeah ... at times. Literally opens doors. Yeah.
[00:26:55] Shane: Yeah.
[00:26:55] Deanna: Yeah. It's been-
[00:26:57] Shane: Doors and conversation.
[00:26:58] Deanna: And I think doors within ourselves even. Yeah. Like, that kinda creates like an openness to... Like you said, like you get more and, and more comfortable with kind of letting the walls down and, and letting people in or, like-
[00:27:12] Shane: Oh, yeah
[00:27:12] Deanna: getting pe- I mean, yeah ... you know, getting closer to people.
[00:27:15] Shane: Yeah. And I, I mean, I, I think we, we all probably know this, but- Um, stepping out of our comfort zone and doing things that we're not always comfortable in always builds us. Like, it, it helps us to understand more about ourselves.
[00:27:29] Deanna 3: Mm-hmm.
[00:27:30] Shane: And, and it, it has a positive effect on us.
[00:27:35] Shane: I, I mean, I, I honestly can't think of a time of stepping out of my comfort zone where I didn't, where I've, like, wished I hadn't, you know?
[00:27:43] Deanna: Mm-hmm.
[00:27:44] Shane: It, it just, it helps, it definitely helps us to see ourselves more.
[00:27:47] Deanna: Yeah. Yeah, honestly, quite the opposite. Like, I can, I can remember specific times where I could have done something or could have said something and I regret not.
[00:28:00] Deanna: Like, I can remember one time in particular, you and I, this was years ago. This might have... This was before we had kids even. Um, so, like, what? 20, like, 19, 20 years ago? Um, we were... It was... We were pulling up at a Haggen's grocery store. It was dark. It was rai- it was pouring down rain, and we were going past the, you know, the entrance, and there was this little old woman who was pushing her grocery cart through the pouring rain.
[00:28:24] Deanna: She had one of those... I don't feel like anybody ever wears them anymore, but remember the little, like, plastic rain hoods that, like- Mm ... I think women of that generation, they, like, would protect their curls. Anyways, she had one of those on, and she was pushing past, and I think we both looked at each other and said, like, "We should help her."
[00:28:41] Deanna: And then both in the same breath I think we had that like, "That's gonna be weird. Like, we're gonna... We're approaching her in a dark parking lot. She's gonna think we're weird. Like, we might scare her." You know, I think it was really easy to justify, like, "Nah, let's, like... That, that would be too weird, and, and it c- it will, it'll end, it'll end up making her feel uncomfortable," when really I think probably our, our fear was, like, we're gonna get placed in a moment of discomfort and, and we can be fine with that.
[00:29:08] Deanna: But I just think about that moment still today. I still remember her and wish I would've done something to help. So I agree with you completely. I think that there are so many times where, like, we never look back at and regret having stepped into a place of discomfort and tried helping. We always regret when we didn't.
[00:29:28] Shane: Yeah, and even if it's not always warmly received or maybe it doesn't even happen, um, it's more... I, I think it's you feel better leaving knowing that you tried- Mm-hmm ... right? Than, than the looking back wishing you had. I had a moment like that that I still to this day it bugs me is I was in Costco and getting the, um, gingerbread houses kits for the kids, and this man came up behind me and, um, clearly was not in a good financial place and was wondering where they were at.
[00:30:05] Shane: And I, I can't remember exactly. I feel like m- like, um-
[00:30:13] Deanna: Didn't he comment on the cost or something? Yeah I feel like when you were telling me that story.
[00:30:17] Shane: Something like, yeah, something like that. And basically in that moment I thought I should just buy these and then just give them to him. And then I was like, "Oh, he might think that's weird or something."
[00:30:28] Shane: And to this day, I wish I could go back and redo that. I would've just... You know, 'cause his little kids were with him and, and I, I don't think he could afford them. And so, so yeah, you know, tho- those are the things you regret is when you just didn't do anything at all or you talked yourself out of it. Um-
[00:30:43] Deanna 3: Mm-hmm
[00:30:44] Shane: one, like one thing Growing Kindness has done for me, 'cause I will say, I mean, I've already said it, but sometimes giving the flowers is harder. But like one time I went and bought a bunch of gift cards, like $10 coffee gift cards, 'cause that's about what it costs to buy a coffee anymore. I know. And so what I did is I set them in the center console on my rig, and then if I was at the gas station or something and I saw a first responder, um, I'd just go over there and just give them a, a coffee gift card.
[00:31:18] Shane: And, and it's funny 'cause people are just... It's like we're just not used to in our society kindness and people giving.
[00:31:26] Deanna 3: Mm-hmm.
[00:31:27] Shane: And so first it's kinda like, "Okay, what-"
[00:31:30] Deanna 3: What's
[00:31:30] Shane: the catch? "... you know, what's, what's really going on here?" And it's like, "No, I just, I, um, you know, we, we wouldn't be... I mean, we need people like you and appreciate all that you do, and here's a cup of coffee on me."
[00:31:41] Deanna 3: Mm-hmm.
[00:31:42] Shane: And it's like, "Oh." You know, and you kinda see that light like, oh, this is actually just somebody trying to be kind.
[00:31:48] Deanna 3: Mm-hmm.
[00:31:49] Shane: And so yeah, then you, yeah, those, those experiences are, are awesome. So I definitely encourage people in any way that they can to do that. And, um, you know, the thing about the flowers is it's like- Yeah.
[00:32:06] Shane: I, I mean, I shouldn't say anybody, but most people can find flowers to pick and get... I mean, think about like little kids e- even at an early age.
[00:32:14] Deanna: Mm-hmm.
[00:32:15] Shane: I mean, I remember going out in the cow pasture and they were probably growing out of cow poop. And I would cut my mom flowers and take my mom flowers, and it was probably the most pathetic looking dandelion bouquet you ever seen.
[00:32:28] Shane: But kn- as a parent now, knowing what that would mean to me-
[00:32:33] Deanna: Mm-hmm ...
[00:32:33] Shane: like, it's just knowing that somebody cares, you know? Yeah. It's huge. It, it's, it impacts lives way more than we even can imagine, I think.
[00:32:42] Deanna: Yeah. Absolutely. I couldn't agree more. Okay. So I wanna like, kinda z- come, come circle back a little bit to the beginning of the conversation.
[00:32:49] Deanna: You know, we kinda talked about like our, our story is a little bit the beginning of Growing Kindness. What the crazy thing is, is Growing Kindness was never, like never, ever on either of our radar. I mean, that was not on the bingo card ever. Like, I think that when we first got married, you know, we, we had had this experience of growing up in really close-knit families.
[00:33:15] Deanna: We both gotten to grow up in rural experiences and really close-knit communities, being involved in organizations like 4H where like community service and connection is so key. And we knew that we wanted, like really deeply wanted those experiences and those values for our kids and for like h- how we wanted our family to move through the world.
[00:33:38] Deanna: But- Starting a nonprofit organization was definitely not something either of us ever said, like, "Hey, you know what we should do?" Or that was never even, like, uh, even remotely in any part of like those early visions of what our future would look like or, or for me personally, like what my, my dreams were and what I wanted to do, and yet it has been, is in so many ways in alignment with all of that, and in so many ways for me, this kind of I don't know, like, uh
[00:34:22] Deanna: Like, it's allowed me to pull together a lot of skills and, and, and loves and joys in, in a way that, uh, nothing else would have. But it definitely wasn't in the cards. It, it didn't start really overnight all at once. Like, we were kinda slowly, like, getting more and more involved in giving back in our community in different ways, and then it evolved into giving flowers, and then it evolved into, like, helping people grow flowers.
[00:34:51] Deanna: And then it hit the point where it was like... I can rem- I think the defining moment for me, I don't know if it felt like this for you, was I'd gotten a call from Team Flower, and they'd asked if I would... No, I was, I had gotten an interview. I was on their podcast, and in that podcast, Kelly had asked me if I would be a presenter at the next year's conference, which was a big deal, you know, at that time in the flower world.
[00:35:18] Deanna: And it felt like it was kind of this affirmation, and affirmation of the work that we were doing in the world. Or the, I mean, I, I c- guess in a way I could say I was doing. You were, like, quietly supporting it in the background, but it was kinda my, like, vision at the time. Um, I can remember. You know those moments where you're like, "I can remember you were out weed whacking," and I came out and, like, was like, "You're not gonna believe what just happened.
[00:35:44] Deanna: Like, I got asked to like sh- you know, share Growing Kindness from this like, you know, podium in front of this huge audience." And, and that was really kind of what was a catalyst, like, turning point for us doing this in our community to taking it to, like, more of a national level. But what, what was it, what's it been like, like, bearing witness to that unfold all these years?
[00:36:13] Deanna: And like, what, what were your thoughts in the beginning versus maybe your thoughts now?
[00:36:20] Shane: Yeah, I, yeah, I, I don't remember that particular time. I mean, I remember lots of times of weed whacking, but- ... I do remember you going down there and, um, I remember when you came back, you're kinda like, and I watched it, um, the recording of it, but it was like, "All right, here we go," because I just announced it to the national audience that this is what I'm doing or what we're doing and, um, and so yeah, it, it got really real then.
[00:36:51] Shane: 'Cause you know how it is, like when you, when you, um, tell everyone that you're gonna do something, then you definitely feel like you gotta do it, so-
[00:37:00] Deanna 3: Mm-hmm ...
[00:37:00] Shane: um, so yeah, I, it didn't, I, I don't, I mean, at that time I had no idea, uh, what to even expect, right? And definitely, uh, didn't see it turn into a not-for-profit.
[00:37:15] Shane: Um, I just, I, I just hadn't really thought about all the pieces that go into it. And so then, um, yeah, then it starts going and it's like getting bigger and bigger and, um, there's lots of late nights or early mornings, I guess you could say.
[00:37:35] Deanna: Tackles.
[00:37:35] Shane: Yeah. And so it just- You know, it's, I think it, it's kind of like starting a business, um-
[00:37:43] Deanna: Exactly.
[00:37:44] Deanna: Or having a ba- I mean, in a way, like having a baby or, like, starting a business or starting a farm. I mean, it's like-
[00:37:50] Shane: Yeah. It's like you, you get going and it just continues to grow and takes more and more of your time and, um... So, yeah, I mean, it was definitely, through the heart of it was some, some tough years, um, behind the scenes, but the reward always seemed to be, uh, worth it and continues 'cause of seeing the effects on people's lives.
[00:38:16] Shane: And there'd be times, like we'd, we'd have a event at the house and, and come into it pretty tired and worn out because there was- Like
[00:38:25] Deanna: exhausted.
[00:38:26] Shane: Yeah, like sleepless nights leading up to it or very minimal sleep and at the... You know, as you're getting towards where people are coming and you're just exhausted and you're thinking, "Man, was this, was this worth it?"
[00:38:42] Shane: Like, "Is, is anybody gonna come and are they gonna have fun?" Or not, maybe not fun, but are they gonna-
[00:38:48] Deanna: Like, is it gonna be meaningful?
[00:38:49] Shane: Is it gonna be meaningful and, and is it gonna be worth all this effort? And, and after every single one, it was like whatever was poured out, we seemed to get back tenfold. Um, and, and like stories of, of what it did in a widow's w- life or somebody that was facing things in life that we can't even imagine 'cause we haven't faced.
[00:39:21] Deanna: Mm-hmm.
[00:39:21] Shane: And, and seeing the, the way that impacted them and, and helped them get through, uh, tough times and, and we still... I mean, obviously that's still going on.
[00:39:31] Deanna: Mm-hmm.
[00:39:32] Shane: And, and what's cool about it is it's, is it's grown, um, all over the world and, and all over our country and, and it's, it's, you know, and really, like through COVID it was a great time for it because people were looking for community and they were looking for ways to help and, and it created a lot of beginner gardeners that were able to grow flowers in just the little spaces they had, so.
[00:40:03] Shane: So yeah, I, I... It's, it isn't always easy. It hasn't always been easy and, I mean, it still to this day has its challenges and its late, late nights but, um, it, it definitely shaped who we are and, and has helped us to be better stewards of what we've been given- Mm-hmm ... I would say. Um, yeah.
[00:40:33] Deanna: Um, okay, I think this leads me. I, um, yeah, I think, I think that anything, you know, anything that you create, there's always the work that goes on behind that only either the person that's creating or the people that are supporting actually get to see. And I, I don't know, I think maybe that day that I came out, like, so excited, you know, and, and shared this that like, "Hey, we're gonna, we're gonna, like, move forward, you know, with an official national organization," you know, while with your, um, like, the weed whacker helmet, like, up on your head.
[00:41:14] Deanna: I mean, maybe if, if you would've known, like, what the cost was gonna be for, for me personally, and maybe for our family a little bit, like, maybe that wouldn't have been as easy of a yes to support, you know? But I do feel like in the end it has been absolutely worth it. You know, I think that not only has it given us the opportunity as parents to do the thing that we always wanted to do was, like, create opportunity to help our kids, like, learn how to see a need and reach out and help other people.
[00:41:55] Deanna: But I hope, I hope, like as parents, that it's also And our, like, created for our kids this opportunity to see that you, you just... I'll, I'll, like, I mean, I know it's like I don't- I literally don't think we've had a podcast episode where I haven't mentioned this, but like, like, start where you are, use what you have, do what you can.
[00:42:17] Deanna: Like, for us as a family, like, we had the resources to, like, give away the Dahlia Tubers, you know, to help people get started. And we had the luxury, I recognize the luxury and privilege of me forfeiting having an income. Like, you know, for the last seven years, I volunteered as the executive director, and Growing Kindness wouldn't have existed because we would've never been able to fund it in order to, like, have the man-hours to do the work, had we had to, like, fund the dollars from the beginning.
[00:42:51] Deanna: So, like, as a family, like, again, that start where you are, use what you have, like, we had the privilege to get to choose, like, to live a simpler lifestyle so that we could do that. And w- I guess what I, I just, I'm trying to say is I hope that for our kids, like, that that has sown seeds for them, too, to see that, like, how do we use what we have to help other people?
[00:43:16] Deanna: And I think that's, like, I guess that's my hope for what, what's happened in, in founding this organization. And then, you know, like, bigger than, like, or I guess in another, in another way as well, kind of like helping... I get-- Uh, what am I trying to say? I'm gonna pause, like pause and edit here. Um, and so now, you know, now we're eight years in, and it's a, it is a new and different season.
[00:43:48] Deanna: And I mean, I, it wouldn't be honest to not say that, like, there's definitely been a cost, you know, like-
[00:43:53] Deanna 3: Mm-hmm.
[00:43:54] Deanna: But that's been a privilege for us to be able to give, both financially, like forfeiting an income, but also, like, being able to donate, like, all the tuber sales, donate all the tubers that we've donated all the years.
[00:44:06] Deanna: Like, that's been something that's been a joy to be able to give. I think the part where we started to recognize, like, where something had to change was that, like, when it actually, like, started taking my health and- Mm ... like my ability
[00:44:26] Deanna: My ability to, like, actually be present and, like, show up in our family because it was just, the work was so consuming, you know, in so many of those years. But I- I'm thankful for that experience too because it's taught us so much. I mean, I've learned so much about myself in it and through it and I think that we have learned so much about even our marriage in it and through it and, and it's brought us too.
[00:44:53] Deanna: It's like you have to go, you know, you can't, you can't, you can't go around it. You have to go through it. Like, going through that and being able to recognize, like, when, when is the time to, like, start stepping back which kind of brings us to where the organization is now which is me no longer standing in the director role which feels new and a little bit scary but also really hopeful both for us as a family, like, to regain balance but also for the organization.
[00:45:26] Deanna: Like, it needs so much more than what I can give it and I think there is, you know, like they talk about founder syndrome all the time. Like, I think there is a unique role that a founder has in a, in a nonprofit organization especially and if you can't, like, let go of the pieces and allow other people to start pouring in and, and carrying it forward, like, it's gonna end ultimately suffocating it.
[00:45:53] Deanna: So like it just kind of brings us this season now where we're at and I feel really hopeful and excited about the next season for the organization. Um, I have lots of, like, visions and dreams and hopes for what Growing Kindness is gonna continue to grow into and become but, like, what about you? Like, what are, what are your hopes for this next season of the organization?
[00:46:23] Shane: Um Well, I, I mean, as your husband, I definitely care about your health, so I'm glad that, um, that you're able to step away in, in a way that, um
[00:46:42] Shane: You know, uh, well, I, I would say I What you put into play, or yeah, what you've put into play, I, I hope continues, and I hope that you and us as a family can continue to be a part of that. Um, but I do think that you stepping away from the role you had in it is, is definitely, um, been a good thing for, for everyone.
[00:47:18] Shane: Um, which that is hard to do. I mean, we've talked about that as-
[00:47:24] Deanna: Ad nauseam.
[00:47:25] Shane: Yeah. It's like, you know, it's, it was your baby to start with and, and so, um, so yeah, it's hard to, it's hard to step away. Um, it's hard to let other, um, ideas and things come in. But I think what I'm hoping is that a foundation has been laid that can continue to be built on, and maybe it doesn't always look like the vision you have, um, at that time.
[00:47:56] Shane: But I, I think, like, the mission of the project, um, will continue and, and, uh- Continue to bring kindness into the world and, and, um, encourage people to give and with what they have. And so, um, and I, I mean, I hope that, uh, the podcast continues. I know that that's really... You en- enjoy that part of it. And so I think there's a lot of great stories out there that haven't been told and need to be tell- told because, you know, we all know that the news in, in our world is not, is not an uplifting thing to listen to.
[00:48:47] Deanna: Mm-hmm.
[00:48:47] Shane: So to have these stories out there of, of things that have brought joy in people's lives and kindness in communities and a sense of community and encouraging that, you know, I think really are... Yeah, people need to be, uh, close in their communities and be able to rely on each other and to know that they got each other's backs and that they're gonna help each other out.
[00:49:14] Shane: So, um, hopefully that, that will continue on and, and those stories will be told, so
[00:49:32] Deanna: Um, that's, that's really great. Um, I really, I'm trying to decide if I push you to saying like, I think... So I'm gonna, I'm gonna prompt you for this one a little bit. Like
[00:49:45] Deanna: I kinda want you to, I want, I, I'd love for you to kinda say that you see the hours that it takes to make the work happen and that we need, like ultimately you wish people could see that like it can't happen for free. Like, you know, like we need, we need
[00:50:03] Deanna: Like we need the funding, you know? Yeah. So let me think about, like, how to ask that question. Um, okay So having been kind of behind the curtain, the... Wasn't it The Wizard of Oz? You know, behind the curtain these last few years. Actually, let me restart that. Um, so having been behind the scenes of watching this organization grow and seeing what it's taken to grow it to what it is now, and also getting to see the impact, what's one thing that you wish that people understood about, about the mission?
[00:50:46] Shane: Well
[00:50:49] Shane: From my own experience, I think, like what, what I've found and was a surprise to me is, is what it takes to run an organization like this. Like, w- when, when it first began, I, I didn't, I didn't really realize like the financial part of it. I didn't realize the hours that would go into it. I think, you know, you just see somebody handing somebody a bouquet and making their day and it's like, "Well, I mean, how hard is that?"
[00:51:21] Shane: But to, to have it be an organization that functions in a way that can bring resources to people, um, can bring these stories to people, um, and, and the retreat and just all the thing... I mean, there's so many things that go into it that you just don't realize. I think it's like kinda like, you know, you, you show up at a wedding and it's this beautiful event and, and you...
[00:51:56] Shane: a- and like everything seems to be great and perfect, and you don't realize-
[00:52:00] Deanna: And effortless, right?
[00:52:01] Shane: Yeah. And you just don't realize like all that went on behind the- all the hours leading up to that to get to that point. And I know I never saw that coming with this project, is the amount of hours it would take.
[00:52:15] Shane: Like, like you just said earlier like, like we maybe would've paused a little bit and thought about a little bit more, um, you know, going into it. But like, you know, it's just life and life experiences. You just take steps and, and then you start figuring it out. And so what we, we figured out is that it takes a lot of hours, and it, and it does ta- it...
[00:52:40] Shane: There is a financial impact to it. And um, I think sometimes, um, I, I just, I know for myself, I don't think of... I mean, I don't think about the amount of resources it takes to run a not-for-profit.
[00:53:00] Deanna 3: Mm-hmm.
[00:53:00] Shane: Um, and so, and, and like there's nobody Currently in this pr- organization that takes a paycheck from it. Um, and so it's like it's all volunteers and, and so what you see is, is a lot of volunteers putting in a lot of hours of their own time and, and because they believe in a mission a- and they believe in the project.
[00:53:35] Shane: And but all the, all the things that get brought, there is a financial cost to that, right? And so I think really moving forward, that's a, a big part too is like how do we fund this thing? How do we keep it going financially? Because, um- It, it takes resources
[00:54:01] Deanna: Yeah
[00:54:02] Shane: And it takes- Yeah
[00:54:07] Shane: Yeah. It, it takes more than we can give out of our, you know- Yeah, yeah ... like, like we... Yeah. So, um, yeah, so definitely encourage people in whatever they can to, if they believe in the mission and, um, are able to, you know... The financial support is, is huge, and it means a lot to the organization, and that's what, what keeps it going.
[00:54:44] Shane: Um, so.
[00:54:47] Deanna: Yeah, for sure. No, I think that, I think that was the thing that we were completely blind to, I was completely blind to when we started the organization, was just like, I loved what we were doing, and we could live in a way that we forfeited the income. And so it made sense to me just to like be the director, you know, in a volunteer role, which was awesome, and it allowed us to move things forward and just in a way that we never would have had capacity for at that time had we had to fund that role.
[00:55:24] Deanna 3: Mm-hmm.
[00:55:25] Deanna: But now the challenge is recognizing that when, when I step back, or as I've stepped back from that- We have to try to figure out how to run an organization that has run with every director, which is why we're in the season that's hopeful and exciting that we're in right now, which is, you know, like having expanded the board and brought on this really incredible, you know, group of board members who are really passionate about helping us figure out a way to be sustainable.
[00:55:59] Deanna: Um, you know, and having, having this opportunity to really restructure and actually run the organization In a way that's sustainable, I guess. I mean, really, like with, at the end of the day, it's just what is sustainable. And, and to be able to get the foundation under it to have the people and the resources to, to do those jobs, um, like that, that's such an important next step for the organization.
[00:56:29] Deanna: But what's exciting and hopeful to me is there's so many people that have believed in this organization, and I just, I, I know that the work that it's doing in the world is, is important. You know? It's meaningful. It's, it's impactful. And, and so I, I know, like I believe, I believe in my heart of hearts like that those pe- we'll get those pieces figured out, and the support will be there so that it can continue to exist in the world.
[00:57:03] Deanna: And not only just exist in the world, like actually continue to reach more people and, and, you know, bring it like, like bring in the people that are missing. Like one of the conversations that you and I have had for years is like what is that gonna look like when the funding, the stability for the organization is in place so that the funding, you know, the next step funding can move us forward into launching Growing Kindness Kids.
[00:57:35] Deanna: Like, that was always the heart of like why this even started was like how do we teach our kids, you know, how to move in kindness in the world? And like Growing Kindness Kids has been just like the hope and dream that we would bring that to the world. But it's just been this like, I feel like every year it's like the great big pause button.
[00:57:53] Deanna: Like we have to keep hitting pause until we figure out how to get the funding in place just to get the organization sustainable so that then we can launch, you know, the next types of programs that are gonna be able to provide more specific resources and reach, you know, more people. And like one of the things that you and I have talked about, and like these are things that are not even pu- like they're not public conversations yet, but like, like we've n- talked so much about the idea of like how do we empower men, you know, to get to be a part of the mission too?
[00:58:27] Deanna: And like how do we create community for guys, you know, to like normalize this, like getting out in their communities and, and grow... I think growing flowers is less stigmatized as giving flowers. But like, you know, like how do we, how do we get to launch a program that like creates community for men, you know, within the organization as well?
[00:58:46] Deanna: And like there's so many hopes and dreams and visions for the way that we can better serve people and serve more people, but it's like, yeah, it's like you said, like when you've sat on the backside knowing That you can't, like you can't build the second story until the first story is solid. So, but I, I don't know how, like how are you feeling in this transition?
[00:59:10] Deanna: 'Cause it has been, it's been a really exciting and also kinda weird year of me stepping out of the director role, but us like, you know, as a, and as a board organization trying to like re- restructure and move towards being like truly board-led versus just like founder-led. Like, but how do you feel about the next season and what's coming up for Growing Kindness?
[00:59:43] Shane: Um, I mean, I'm, I'm ex- I'm excited for it 'cause I, I do think it's, it's good that you have, um, a, you know, help, um, and that you can kinda turn some of the... I mean, I've watched you over the years do a majority of the work, and so to be able to share that with others. 'Cause I mean, we've talked about this, like, people want to help and they wanna have, um, a, a place in the project and, and that is sometimes hard for founders to do-
[01:00:23] Deanna: Mm-hmm
[01:00:23] Shane: 'cause it doesn't always maybe look exactly like they thought. So, um, but I mean, I, I've been enjoying that, um, we, yeah, we can sometimes get out the door on time for trips and
[01:00:41] Deanna: stuff now, so. That has always been, oh my goodness, for like the last seven years it was always like- Yeah, there's, I gotta answer the last emails.
[01:00:50] Deanna: I gotta get the last launch piece ready. Yeah, so- I gotta, I gotta do this or that before we can actually leave and-
[01:00:56] Shane: Before
[01:00:57] Deanna: we
[01:00:57] Shane: can launch. Or
[01:00:58] Deanna: before we can launch as a family. Yeah. And also, like, really this, this year, having stepped back as executive director, like, this year was the first year where we went on vacation and I didn't take my computer.
[01:01:11] Deanna: Like, I actually-
[01:01:13] Shane: Went on vacation ...
[01:01:14] Deanna: actually was, like, present the whole time and not trying to, like, juggle all the pieces in the background, which it feels... I mean, like, the reality is too, it f- it's- it's like handing your baby over and, like, trusting, like, it's gonna be okay in the hands of other people.
[01:01:29] Deanna: But I truly, truly believe in my heart of hearts that it was never mine or ours to just keep. Like, Growing Kindness wasn't, like, the Kitchen family organization or Deanna Kitchen's organization. Like, it was just our role and privilege to get to help bring it into the world and help hopefully, like, keep inspiring and participating, but not be the ones who are, like, holding it all in our hands, and it's just gonna be this continued You know, continued journey of other people stepping up and supporting it, you know, financially, you know, pouring in skills and time and talents, you know, and all the pieces.
[01:02:10] Deanna: So, yeah.
[01:02:12] Shane: Yeah. And that's, I mean, I think there's excitement for the future, um, other people getting in- more involved, you being able to step back from some of the stuff that you've done. Um, and then there's, there's some fear in, you know, the financial end of it. Mm-hmm. And, and how does it keep going? And I mean, that's...
[01:02:36] Shane: I mean, shoot, that's been every year, though.
[01:02:38] Deanna 3: Mm-hmm.
[01:02:39] Shane: I mean, it's like, it seems like every year there's a... You know, and I suppose in some ways that's like running a small business is like, can we keep the doors open another year? Um, and so yeah, I mean, that, that's probably the biggest fear of the future.
[01:02:56] Deanna: Yeah.
[01:02:56] Shane: Um, but-
[01:02:57] Deanna: And yet it's the biggest opportunity, too, right? Yeah. 'Cause all it takes is, you know, the right people coming alongside. Not the right people. That's not the right expression. All it takes is people with the right resources to share, you know, that believe in it as much as we do, so. Yeah. Yeah.
[01:03:17] Shane: Yeah, and the more... Yeah, the more people get involved and see the impact on it, the more they believe in it and-
[01:03:22] Deanna: Mm-hmm ...
[01:03:24] Shane: the more, yeah, the more people wanna give-
[01:03:28] Deanna: Mm-hmm ...
[01:03:28] Shane: to continue it on when they see the positive impact it has on people's lives.
[01:03:32] Deanna: Yeah. I couldn't agree more.
[01:03:34] Shane: So.
[01:03:36] Deanna: Okay, Shane Before we go, let's do some rapid fire, okay?
[01:03:42] Shane: Okay.
[01:03:43] Deanna: All right, you ready? Yeah. That's an oxymoron. Do I do anything rapid? No. Um, all right. You have been a part of giving flowers for so many years now. What is one experience that you've had giving f- giving flowers to somebody that really stays with you?
[01:04:07] Shane: Um, there was a, there was, um... We were down in Stanwood at Josephine, and there was an older gentleman in there, and we gave him flowers.
[01:04:23] Shane: I think it was actually a centerpiece, but-
[01:04:25] Deanna: Mm-hmm ...
[01:04:26] Shane: and, uh, and he just, he really wanted us to stay and talk and, and we did for a little bit, but we were trying to get through-
[01:04:34] Deanna: All the other residents ...
[01:04:34] Shane: all the other ones, and he just, he just wanted us to stay and talk to him, you know? And, um, a- and I think I, yeah, at that point I just realized, like, giving flowers, and I've seen it many times over, that one for whatever reason sticks with me, is that it opens doors to conversation, and it takes down walls and, and people, they just feel like they can share, and you can d- you can just glean so much, especially from the generation, generation or generations ahead of you.
[01:05:10] Deanna: Mm-hmm.
[01:05:11] Shane: Um, some of the life experiences they've gone through.
[01:05:14] Deanna: Yeah.
[01:05:18] Deanna: Least favorite job when it comes to, or let me see, let me rephrase this. Least favorite job in the garden?
[01:05:27] Shane: Um, pulling thistles.
[01:05:29] Deanna: Oh, right. Oh, I have that. I'm so bad, too. All right. Um, favorite flower Can you scoot forward and you get kind of back from the c-
[01:05:42] Shane: Favorite flower is the, well, I like the- Do you have
[01:05:47] Deanna: one?
[01:05:52] Shane: I just was telling you the other day, re- uh, rin- rinoculus?
[01:05:56] Deanna: Yeah.
[01:05:57] Shane: Ridiculous? Rinoculus. Rinoculus, yeah. And peonies.
[01:06:04] Deanna: Okay, that's crazy 'cause actually those are the two of my top two as well. I didn't know we shared sha- Well- We shared favorite flowers ...
[01:06:10] Shane: well, it probably is because since you like them, that's what we have, and that's what I know.
[01:06:15] Deanna: Right. You don't have like an exotic like bird of paradise or something like that as your favorite flower?
[01:06:22] Shane: Uh, no.
[01:06:24] Deanna: All right. Um-
[01:06:31] Deanna: Question. What's one more rapid fire question? I've never done rapid fire, but I'm like, we're gonna be in two episodes now, so
[01:06:39] Deanna: Um, favorite Oh, let's do... Okay, we're gonna have to probably, like, edit the, you know, like reshuffle these. So we'll do favorite, um, or favorite way that he's given flowers, favorite way or-
[01:06:57] Deanna: Do we do least favorite job? Least favorite job. What's your-
[01:07:00] Shane: It was the thistles.
[01:07:01] Deanna: Oh, yeah, the thistles. What's your favorite, favorite task in the garden?
[01:07:07] Shane: Um, putting down compost.
[01:07:09] Deanna: Nice. And
[01:07:19] Deanna: Help me out. Like how-- I should have had this brainstormed ahead of time. Sorry, this was kind of... This is where we're, like, flying by the seat of our pants now. Okay, so we did favorite flower, fower
[01:07:36] Deanna: Oh, okay. Let's do this. Okay, so also rapid fire. Sort of rapid fire. We're not being very rapid, but now that you... It's interesting 'cause really you've been the support gardener, right? Like, I mean, you haven't really, like, taken on any area of the garden on your own or, like, picked your own.
[01:07:57] Shane: No, I generally expand the garden and maintain the garden.
[01:08:02] Deanna: You're the man behind the scenes. Um-
[01:08:04] Shane: But we're starting to fence the garden, so I feel like we've reached the end
[01:08:08] Deanna: of expansion. Oh, yeah, we really can't expand beyond the fence.
[01:08:11] Shane: So I was telling the neighbor the other day, they're
[01:08:12] Deanna: like- Oh, but can we? But can we?
[01:08:14] Shane: They're like: "Could you, do you think you got enough gardens?"
[01:08:17] Shane: And I said, "Well, I do, but I don't know if Deanna does." But the good news is, is we're starting to fence them.
[01:08:25] Deanna: Yeah, but I mean, then we just fence new areas, right? Is there ever, is there a limit to this?
[01:08:32] Shane: I hope so.
[01:08:34] Deanna: Do you, do you really or do you actually love that we have so m- like, so many growing spaces and
[01:08:40] Shane: so many flowers?
[01:08:40] Shane: No, I, I mean, like last night we had people up to the place and, and, uh, yeah, I mean, it's, it is beautiful, the gardens, and, um, I definitely enjoy sharing those with people. I don't, you know, I mean, not a lot of people have gardens the size of ours, but it is, it is really nice to share and the variety of flowers and stuff, so.
[01:09:06] Shane: But I, I mean, I'm fine with how much we have now.
[01:09:09] Deanna: Yeah. I feel like this year we finally have gotten into, knock on wood, maybe a kind of a maintenance rhythm, so we're not, like, chronically out, just out trying to outrun the weeds.
[01:09:21] Shane: Yeah.
[01:09:22] Deanna: So that's good. Okay. And then
[01:09:30] Deanna: Oh, let's see. Okay, so even though you're, even though you maybe aren't the head gardener on our farm, maybe more of just like support gardener, um, what would you say, I know that you have done enough work in the garden, um, for many years to be able to give some good advice. So what advice would you give to people who are just starting out with a flower garden?
[01:09:54] Shane: Get the best soil you can.
[01:09:56] Deanna: Right? Yeah.
[01:09:58] Shane: Yeah, and then, and even if you don't have the greatest soil, begin to amend the soil, and in a few years you'll wonder what happened to that nasty old soil you had.
[01:10:10] Deanna: Yeah. Yeah, I feel like that's been our experience on the farm. Yeah. Like the... When we had so much compact clay, and now we have areas that are actually, like, thriving.
[01:10:21] Shane: It's a, it's a process. It takes time, but it's worth it.
[01:10:26] Deanna: Okay. All right. Shane, thank you for sharing all of your experience behind the scenes with Growing Kindness. I'm... I think there's s- like you said, there's so many things that we get to witness and experience in the world that they, they maybe look effortless or maybe we have just- we just don't have any idea of actually what's going on behind the scenes.
[01:10:53] Deanna: And so it's been, I don't know, cool for me even in this interview to get to kinda see your perspective on behind the scenes, and hopefully i- just informative and helpful for people to see kind of like what, what is actually going on behind the scenes and taken, you know, over these last eight years to get this organization up and running.
[01:11:18] Deanna: And, and the work that it's taken and the cost that it's taken, but, but also absolutely how richly rewarding it has been as well. So thank you for sharing all of your story and perspective here today. Before we go, there is one question that we always end every podcast episode with. I know you're familiar with this.
[01:11:41] Deanna: What is one small act of kindness that someone once shared with you that you still carry in your heart today?
[01:11:50] Shane: Well, it, it-- this one won't sound like all the... I mean, this is coming from a male's perspective, so, uh, but, uh, it was a couple years ago, a good friend of mine... I'm not mechanical at all. I can run equipment, and I can make gardens, but if I need to fix that equipment, that's where I run into problems. And, uh, we were getting-- we were gonna be going on a road trip, um, towing our camper, and our truck needed a bunch of front-end work done.
[01:12:25] Shane: And our friends came, and I think he actually came and got the truck and took it to his house, and he is not set up really great for working on equi- or on trucks. And I think it was, like, the springtime, so rainy and not great weather. And he rolled around under that truck in the rain and the mud and, and, uh, fixed the, fixed it all up for us, so it was ready to go on the road trip.
[01:12:56] Shane: And, um, yeah, it just, uh, it meant a lot to me 'cause it was something that I couldn't do. Well, I don't know if I... Maybe I could do, but I didn't feel like I could do. And, and, um, and then
[01:13:17] Shane: Maybe we should redo
[01:13:17] Deanna: that. Do you wanna? That's fine. Okay. We're gonna cut and redo. All right. So we'll just go from- Was
[01:13:23] Shane: that fine? That, that was-
[01:13:24] Deanna: Absolutely.
[01:13:25] Shane: Okay.
[01:13:25] Deanna: Yeah. No, it's fine. Maybe you could, like, just... You could probably abbreviate it a little. Okay. Yeah. I mean, it's important to share the detail and, like, the...
[01:13:32] Deanna: 'Cause that's p- that's how a story goes, but maybe just shorten a little bit and kinda hit the key points that, like, I couldn't do it. There was a sense of urgency. Like, we needed the truck. It was awful weather. Like, he was out in the w- you know, kind of... Yeah, just hit those points- Yeah ... and shorten it. All right.
[01:13:46] Deanna: Okay. All right. So we'll just take from the question, and then we'll scrap the, you know, your answer and go from there.
[01:13:53] Shane: Yeah. So, um, the one thing that sticks in my head that, um, uh, coming from a male point of view is that-
[01:14:03] Deanna: I'm gonna pause you. You don't have to add- Yeah. Okay ... you don't have to add that 'cause just like-
[01:14:06] Shane: Okay.
[01:14:06] Shane: Yeah ...
[01:14:06] Deanna: it's guy, girl- Yeah. Yeah ... whatever. Okay. Kindness is kindness. All right.
[01:14:08] Shane: Okay. Okay.
[01:14:09] Deanna: Sorry. All right. From the top.
[01:14:11] Shane: Yeah. So, uh, the one thing that comes to mind right away is, uh, there was a time where we were getting ready to go on a road trip, and it really wasn't even that long ago, and our truck needed a bunch of front-end work, and I'm not very mechanical at all.
[01:14:27] Shane: And a friend of ours knew that. And so he... I think he actually even came over and got our truck and took it to his house, and he, he doesn't, he doesn't have a shop or something nice to pull it into. But, um, he just parked it out in his front yard, and I think it was in the spring, and so the weather isn't the greatest around here in the spring.
[01:14:47] Shane: It's wet. And he fixed the front end on our truck and had it all ready for us to go on our, our road trip, and, um, that, that just meant a lot to me because it was something that I felt like I didn't have the time to do or really the abilities to do. And to be honest with you, I think we might have been getting ready for a dahlia sale.
[01:15:12] Shane: And we were probably running behind. And so I, I was maxed out on what I could do. And so to have him show up and do that was just awesome.
[01:15:21] Deanna: Awesome. All right. We always just end on that. Sorry. So
[01:15:27] Shane: just...
[01:15:28] Deanna: Okay. Um, you did good That should be per
